konalavadome

The beauty of a simple mind (Acoustic, rough but finished)

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Darren1664

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« Reply #15 on: August 12, 2017, 05:56:00 PM »
Thanks The Butcher and Shadowfax! Glad to hear you enjoyed it and liked the lyrics  :) thanks for taking the time to listen and review - much appreciated. Darren

Paulski

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« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2017, 01:29:36 AM »
Hi Darren

Good song! I especially liked the lyrics, the vocals (and the length  ;D)
It has an innocence to it that would be ruined by a bigger production IMHO.
However I think the current presentation could be cleaned up a bit to make it really shine.

Paul

Rightly

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« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2017, 08:24:57 AM »
this is a little gem of a song.
"Brighter than my wisdom"

reminds me of Bonnie Prince Billy, on a good day.

lovely chorus

well done

PaulAds

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« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2017, 09:23:24 AM »
Very cool  8)

This is great...I really loved the lyrics and the sentiment behind them.

I enjoyed it very much just as it is.

I looked through the previous comments before I wrote this to see if I'd be repeating what had gone before...

The S hit the nail on the head...I thought the guitar intro was way too good to not make much more use of.

Could grow into a really great song with a little work, I think.

Great writing!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Neil C

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« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2017, 07:33:58 AM »
Neat simple tune and message. Catchy too. Suits the stripped back style.
Lots to like a short space of time.
 :)
neil
songwriter of no repute..

adamfarr

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« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2017, 06:43:55 PM »
Great song and great playing which makes me doubly envious...

I guess the lyrics could be a bit uncomfortable when this is a particular person who you might meet... but there is such a great honesty there that really takes them out of the ordinary.

The chewing on two and two line is genius!

I'd have a bit more picking (and/or whistling!) and just repeat all through from the top. Great song and great that you might develop it.

Morefrog Jones

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« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2017, 07:09:02 PM »
Really enjoyed - lovely lyric writing.
Loads of potential
Good Stuff. :)

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2017, 10:17:00 PM »
Lovely song guys  :)

Andyb

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« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2017, 11:34:33 PM »
I started to listen to this song and think "what would I do with it?" then about half way through i realised it was perfect as it was. Good work I can totally hear this in some quirky movie.

Darren1664

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« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2017, 09:07:37 PM »
Wow thanks for listening and commenting all. Much appreciated :) and I'm really taken aback by the kind comments to my song. Glad I posted it now

Paulski - Thanks mate. Really glad you liked to lyric and vocals. I am still surprised by the kind comment my vocals get. It's done my confidence the world of good :P thank you

Rightly - Thanks mate. I am pleased you liked it :) no idea who Bonnie Prince Billy is so I will have to check it out - OK just listening to him and yeah that's a real compliment mate, thank you.

PaulAds - Thanks buddy. Glad you too liked the lyrics :) it's been really nice to hear and yes I liked the S's comments. Currently working on an updated version. It will be much the same with just a few small additions and I might try and record it cleaner, maybe do guitars and vocals in separate takes. Thanks for your review, glad you liked :)

Neil C - Thanks mate. Really appreciate your time and kind words.

Adam - Really glad you liked it mate. Although you have nothing to be envious of as your a much better song writer than I. Yes, it isn't someone I see often or who would be likely to hear it thankfully, or know it was about them necessarily. I'm pleased you like the lyrics :) hoping to get a better recording done soon and by soon I mean by the end of the year :P

Morefrog - Thanks pal. Glad you liked it :) thanks for taking the time buddy.

Pompey - Sure this comment is for me? :P I'd hate to think someone out there is missing a review :( but I notice you had already commented so maybe this is for someone else :P

Andyb - Really nice to hear mate. I'm glad you liked it and really appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment. I'd love to hear this in a movie :P small chance though!

Thank you everyone. Great community as always and done my confidence wonders. Hope to post some new stuff soon

Darren

Cawproductions

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« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2017, 11:52:46 AM »
Darren,

Love the quirkyness of the song and vocal style. Nice work, I reckon it could build with a bit of percussion later in the song but thats just my opinion and is purely a taste thing.

But I really liked it, Its one of them songs that would sound good as both acoustic and with a band...Thats the sign of a good song IMHO.

Nice work chap.

ScottLevi

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« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2017, 02:25:40 PM »
Hey Darren,

A bit late on this one but thought I'd peek in and say my peice anyway xD

It's too short!

Haha but seriously, I can't compute my thoughts properly, so here's an incoherent mash up..

- Thought it might be cool initially to leave the listener in more anticipation before getting to the point. If you abused your friend a bit more at the start would be a nice reveal when it's like "actually, despite all that I've said, I admire this man". That said, that first verse fits really well as a first verse and that second verse leads on from it so nicely so maybe not!

- I like the simple execution, I mean it's the beautify of a simple mind, and if you don't keep this simple you're defeating the point of the song (or I guess you could go the over way and do a bit of deliberate contradiction to show how you haven't learnt this lesson yet - just not middle-of-the-road complicated)

- I really like the below verse, as songwriters I'm sure this hits a lot of us as we so often say things we'd be wiser to say conversation, it's a great freedom. I was thinking it would be cool to repeat this notion but with other examples (to be more relocatable to others) but I'm not sure what other people do... When I paint my pictures?, when I dance my dance?, when I make my prays?
Quote
When I write my songs
I spit out all my fears
But when in public view I seem to chew on two plus two too

- Really cool song for an album I reckon, like it's a nice short tune which I think could be early on, then nearer the end you get into trouble for putting caution to the wind and are forced to explore the balance of spontaneity and thoughtfulness.

Anyway awesome tune, is great as is and the above is more thoughts than suggestions, a good song always gets you thinking!

All the best,
Scott.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2017, 02:28:04 PM by ScottLevi »
 
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Darren1664

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« Reply #27 on: August 31, 2017, 05:37:42 PM »
Hey CAW

Thanks for listening and your feedback, very much appreciated. I will think about percussion but the problem for me will be finding the right sound. A lot of the drum sounds on garageband I don't like but I can have a tinker and see what I can find. Thank you very much

Scott - thanks mate :) yeah I see what your saying regarding the intro a bit more background would help set the scene. If I ever recorded this properly I could always lead with a non musical intro, as a I do like that as a first verse. Food for thought. And yeah it would be nice to repeat that message in some way but is hard to pack that into the song. I have written a little extra for this but unfortunately doesn't include this idea of yours. It's a nice idea though and if I can utilise it I will.

I'm glad you liked it and grateful for your feedback. Be amazing if I could ever get an album together :P but that's a long way off for now. Really grateful for your ideas - is nice to see things in new and different ways!

All the best pal

And thanks again to everyone. This one is in the WIP folder again :P to be re released early next year hopefully :P

Darren

David Christy Jones

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« Reply #28 on: September 01, 2017, 12:31:22 AM »
Someone else said it earlier, but I have to agree that to me the best bit of this song is the rhythm pick up for "Grow, Grow, Grow".
Really nice work, has a bit of the english folk-writers vibe about it, but with a modern spin. Excellent stuff! :D
Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is the best!

redrhodie

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« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2017, 02:10:07 PM »
I don't hit the heart button on SoundCloud very often, so it means something good that this is the second song of yours that I did. Loved it.