[kartman]

Hi. Here's my another piece. This is a more or less finished song (not recorded yet), and I'm curious about your opinion.
The song is based on a spooky story in my hometown about a woman who had several husbands and lovers, all of whom committed suicides or died in a strange way. One of the guys shot himself out of jealousy and despair on the street corner of their house and they say that his ghost still wanders inside

[v1]
Black cat crossed my way the day that I saw her
Lightning stroke and split the day
I hoped we could share our love for evermore
By my side she'll always stay

[pre-ch]
Little did I know
I'm not the only one
Now the darkness dims my sun

[ch]
She's been chanting out my name
She's been driving me insane
Left my good days far away
Standing on the corner of
Street where we used to fall in love
Loaded gun is in my hand

[v2]
Hear my scream ripping through the silent night
Deep inside this house of pain
I fell prey to this predator of love
And my life is gone in vain

[pre-ch]
Little did I know
I'm not the only one
Just next in line for her fun

[ch]

[Pawy]

This is good I love songs that tell stories. What I like the best is that I read it again trying to ignore the fact that you already mentioned what the song is about, and it still makes sense.

Good luck with it!

[rightly]

that was fun reading that
well done

at a glimpse though I misread,

instead of "And my life is gone in vain"
(certainly a good line)
I read, "And my life goes on in vain".

Well penned!

[kartman]

Thanks for feedback guys, its a treat!