The Shape of You

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Paulski

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« on: August 03, 2017, 05:27:41 PM »
A silly lyric I know  ;D ;D
Music will be along the "I get a kick out of You" style.

The Shape of You
Copyright (c) 2017 Tennyson Road Music

I was never too fond of squares
And circles don't lead anywhere
Octagons suffer from too many sides
And there's nothing inspiring 'bout simple straight lines
But I'll come to my point of view:
I like the shape of you

I like the shape of you
I like the shape of you
When you make your way - into a room
A quick double-take is all I can do
'Cause I like the shape of you

I don't favour trapezoids
Most triangles - I'll avoid
I shun parallelograms
And leave Pentagons to old uncle Sam
You're all I'm attracted to:
'Cause I like the shape of you

I like the shape of you
I like the shape of you
When you make your way - into a room
A quick double-take is all I can do
'Cause I like the shape of you

{br}
The more complex an object, the worse
They really can get on my nerves
I hope this doesn't sound too perverse
But I prefer to observe
Something with curves!
So...

I like the shape of you
I like the shape of you
When you make your way - into a room
A quick double-take is all I can do
'Cause I like the shape of you

I like the shape
The model, the make
I like the shape of you!

diademgrove

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« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2017, 09:01:52 PM »
A great set of lyrics, they flow really well until you get to the bridge. The worse/perverse feels like a forced rhyme and detracts from the rest of the words, at least for me.

If you disagree feel free to ignore me.

Keith

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2017, 07:00:39 AM »
The more complex an object, the worse
They really can get on my nerves
I hope this doesn't sound too perverse
But I prefer to observe
Something with curves!

I agree that this doesn't quite "flow."  It seems to "lurch a little" on the "worse/perverse" rhyme.  

Here's a suggestion.  

Complex Tetrahedron's are really the worst.  
They really get on my nerves.  
I hope this doesn't sound too perverse.  
but I prefer to observe
Something with curves.  

Keep or sweep.  

Nice lyric.  Pleasingly simple, and tells a complete, fun story.
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

kartman

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« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2017, 07:12:19 AM »
I had to stop for a sec and remember what trapezoid is ;D To me this is the only thing distracting attention from otherwise great lyrics.

Nicolajane87

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« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2017, 01:01:33 PM »
Hi,

Great lyrics, flows really well.

Good Luck
Nicola

josemar

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« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2017, 01:19:39 PM »
Nice idea, well set up...negative sentiments balanced by positive sentiments in chorus typye of things.

Neil C

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« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2017, 06:16:47 AM »
Paul,
Simple and clever.
Had a old school 50's feel to it somehow.
Look forward to hearing what you do with it.
 :)
neil 
songwriter of no repute..

Vintage54

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« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2017, 08:27:04 PM »

    Hi Paulski,
       Smart as ever, where do you get the inspiration from? So clever, and not as silly as i was expecting. By the way, i like the bridge, it made me smile, that can't be a bad thing.

                              Vintage54

PaulAds

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« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2017, 06:52:26 PM »
This is great, Paul...

It could go anywhere the music takes it...straight and serious or whatever you fancy...it'll stand up against anything anybody else ever writes anyway.

Loved it  :)
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

https://thefuneralcrasher.bandcamp.com/album/keep-the-receipt

Paulski

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« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2017, 01:15:36 PM »
@diademgrove - thanks Keith. I wonder if worse/perverse works only in my Canadian world? I'll think about that one.

@hardtwistmusic - thanks Verlon. I actually want the bridge to lurch  ;D I'm singing spread triplets in that section - but maybe wrong-headedly. Maybe I'll default back to a smoother flow if things don't work out.  ;D

@kartman cheers for the comment. I agree the shapes like trapezoid sound very technical - one of my worries about this lyric.

@Nicolajane87 - thank you Nicola  ;D

@josemar - thanks for that nice comment. You're right about the negative verse/ positive chorus - I hadn't noticed that TBH. And I guess if we want choruses to lift that would be the right way around - even if it was accidental  ;D

@Neil C - thanks Neil - music is shaping up to be almost vaudevillian - go figure. We'll see how that goes over.. ;D

@Vintage54 - cheers Vintage - always encouraging to get a thumbs up from your good self.

@PaulAds - thanks Paul - yeah it's taking me on a strange musical ride, this one. Hope it shapes up in the end  ;D

Mikey

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« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2017, 06:31:13 PM »
I found these lyrics to be a bit sexist, I love it!

Seriously though, they have a nice bit of humour and flow very well, although the bridge is a bit clunky as stated above, if you change

"I hope this doesn't sound too perverse"

to

"I hope this won't sound too perverse"

it flows a lot more smoothly

Mikey


Paulski

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« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2017, 06:42:25 PM »
I found these lyrics to be a bit sexist, I love it!

Seriously though, they have a nice bit of humour and flow very well, although the bridge is a bit clunky as stated above, if you change

"I hope this doesn't sound too perverse"

to

"I hope this won't sound too perverse"

it flows a lot more smoothly

Mikey


Hi Mikey

Sexist haha! I tried to write this so she could be ANY shape (and he likes it  ;D)
- as long as she's not triangular or square or sth.
You're right about that line and I'll change it forthwith.

Thanks!
Paul

Mikey

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« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2017, 11:52:38 AM »
I found these lyrics to be a bit sexist, I love it!

Seriously though, they have a nice bit of humour and flow very well, although the bridge is a bit clunky as stated above, if you change

"I hope this doesn't sound too perverse"

to

"I hope this won't sound too perverse"

it flows a lot more smoothly

Mikey


Hi Mikey

Sexist haha! I tried to write this so she could be ANY shape (and he likes it  ;D)
- as long as she's not triangular or square or sth.
You're right about that line and I'll change it forthwith.

Thanks!
Paul

You're welcome, you can send me some money when you are rich and famous   :)

Mikey

Pawy

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« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2017, 06:52:13 PM »
Heyyy! I agree with some people who were not convinced with the bridge, but you already replied that you wanted it to lurch a lil' bit so it's fine (:

I like that the lyrics are simple and silly, so congrats!