Is this your band? Did you record everything yourselves?
There is some 'rough diamond'-quality to this. I think you can work on more convincing vocals, they seem a little shaky. Sing it like you mean it! Make me believe your words. Drums are a little off sometimes. The final mix has a muddy sound to it, do you guys have some mixing expertise? I would try to get a crisper drum sound and strive for more recording clarity. Very nice guitar solo's though
I totally agree with what has been said before here, musically, this piece has almost no contrast. If you decide on a solid chord progression, you can still create tension with rhythm changes or fills, rising melodies and especially a solid arrangement. Maybe try putting in a sing&clap section, this will create a nice tension&release build-up.
Also:
"Are you single
Do you sleep alone
In your bedroom
With your mobile phone"
This last sentence made me cringe. Yes alone and phone rhyme, but it feels like such an unsingable phrase... 'with your mobile phone'... singing tends to portray states of emotion, and a mobile phone sure isn't anything emotional. It could be a medium for emotion though. Maybe something like 'Did you get dumped via your mobile phone' would work better (sorry for the 'via', can't think of the right way of putting it right now).
