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Read July 31, 2017, 03:41:14 AM #0
JayCrastor

Impossible, Song about unrequited love

So I'm a young singer songwriter, I'm not a experienced songwriter so any feedback would be great! thanks!

Impossible:
Verse 1:
I'd like to think
that I will be fine
without you by my side
But I'd only be lying to myself
I'd like to think
that I would be ok with seeing you with someone else
that’s not me
But my heart would not be able to take

Pre-Chorus:
Cause I don’t know if your aware
But my heart it only beats for you
And I don’t know if you even care
But my eyes they will only see you

Chorus:
But what I ask for is Impossible
It’s Impossible to see my holding your hand
It’s Impossible for me to even think you'll understand
We come from different worlds, and to be honest its alright
I was foolish to even think, that maybe I could fight
For what’s Impossible
For what’s Impossible

Verse 2:
When I saw you walking down the road
those beautiful blue eyes
My heart it skipped a beat
I was lucky to even see.
When I talked to you it seemed
that time stopped immediately
and with every single I breath
I admired your every step

Pre-Chorus:
Cause I don’t know if your aware
But my heart it only beats for you
And I don’t know if you even care
But my eyes they will only see you

Chorus:
But what I ask for is Impossible
It’s Impossible to see my holding your hand
It’s Impossible for me to even think you'll understand
We come from different worlds, and to be honest its alright
I was foolish to even think, that maybe I could fight
For what’s Impossible
For what’s Impossible

End-Verse:
I know, I wasn’t even made to love you
But I hope that even though we were never meant to be
That you find someone that will love you more than
I ever will

©
« Last Edit: August 01, 2017, 12:21:00 PM by JayCrastor »
 
Read July 31, 2017, 09:54:00 AM #1
Joanne8

Re: Impossible, Song about unrequited love

Hi JayCastor,

I really like where your song is going, and I love the title 'Impossible'... It made me want to check it out. So great start. I'm not an experienced songwriter either, so I'm not sure how helpful my comments will be. I like the idea of an 'impossible' love, and what it tells us about the writer. And I'd like to know a little about why the love's 'impossible', tell me a story, why is it insurmountable?

An idea might be to set up exactly what the song is about in the first two lines - like Adele's 'Someone like you' .....it begins 'I've heard that you've settled down, That you found a girl and you're married now'. So we know right away what the song is about, and then we follow the story all the way through. I think that could work well for your song too.

Overall, I really like the sentiment behind the song, I think you've crafted it well, and it has great potential. Hope these comments are helpful, keep writing and good luck.

Joanne
 
 
Read July 31, 2017, 11:21:17 AM #2
hazzaj500

Re: Impossible, Song about unrequited love

I really love this Jay! The only thing I'd like to change is the last part to "me" instead of "i ever will", so it reads -love you more than me.
Keep them comin!
 
Read August 04, 2017, 12:58:02 PM #3
Nicolajane87

Re: Impossible, Song about unrequited love

Hi Jay,

I'm not an experienced songwriter either so i cant give you a lot of advice but i really like the lyrics, i think it has great potential.

Good Luck
Nicola
 
Read August 12, 2017, 08:15:01 PM #4
Pawy

Re: Impossible, Song about unrequited love

Hey! Good work, it's easy to read. The only thing is that the first verse made me think it was a "we broke up and I miss you and I want you back" song lol... because of this:

"I'd like to think
that I will be fine
without you by my side"


Of course it's just a personal opinion, but I think it sounded like that person used to be by your side and now they're not, which is not the message you are trying to deliver.

Also, have you considered changing the verses' order? If you started with the verse after the first chorus instead of verse #1 that would seem more like the beginning of the story. But we don't have to tell stories in their chronological order for them to be good, so feel free to ignore this last paragraph :)

I liked the song, so good luck with it!
 
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