konalavadome

First ever song - Tips welcome!

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MartinKlok

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« on: July 26, 2017, 01:39:47 PM »
xxx
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 04:03:52 PM by Fendi »

Oldbutyet

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« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2017, 09:44:04 PM »
Hey Fendi welcome.

"Writing really helps me emotionally" always a great reason to write.

You got some really good lyric lines there but to me it read like you as the writer can only get yourself in there because you know whats going on in there and believe me thats okay, but when you're finish writing you have to read it as the reader not the writer.

If you dont mind i want you to read this again as the reader not the writer and re write what needs to be re written and post it again, but dont delete what here.


MartinKlok

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« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2017, 02:50:59 PM »
Thank you so much for your responce.

I wrote this becouse i felt like my dreams could never come true. But what kind of change would you like to see to understand it?
Becouse for me as a writer, i get it. But how to change this to how other people can see it is something i have no experienced before!

I write a lot, but i'm still learning and i'm very happy with every tips!

Thanks!