[PaulyX]

Compadres, love to get some feedback on this track.  It's finished apart from the final mixing.

Ostensibly it's a Guy Ritchie-esque story of an East End robbery, but it's actually about something completely different.  I'm curious to see if that comes across though, so won't reveal it - answers on a postcard please.

This is a bit cheeky but if anyone has got the time / enthusiasm to listen to it twice, I've attached two links here to alternative mixes that we're currently debating over.  As well as any opinions on the song itself, any preferences / suggestions on either mix 1 or 2 would be highly useful.  Of course, I'm equally grateful if you just have time to listen to 1 mix.

https://soundcloud.com/elastic-justice/ram-raid-at-the-palace-of-wonder-demo-mix-1/s-A0ZBo

https://soundcloud.com/elastic-justice/ram-raid-at-the-palace-of-wonder-demo-mix-2/s-qCYNv

Lyrics below (with some footnotes at the bottom for the non-Brits).

Pauly

Ram Raid at the Palace of Wonder

It was cats and dogs, it was 2 in the morning, and everything was going to plan
There was Bishop and Dawkins, Watson and Hawkins, sitting in the back of the van
Yes we'd all done our time, our time on the inside, mapping out the route to the vault
Now we're wheel-spinning up the boot-worn steps leaving skid marks on the asphalt
It's a...

Ram raid at the Palace of Wonder
Foot right to the floor
I thought we had the measure of the treasures
But we bounced right off the door
It's a...
Ram raid at the Palace of Wonder
All the guards are on the payroll
We had faith, we had science, we had crowbars and semtex
We're still looking through the keyhole

I was gonna get with the programme, once I had all the answers
I was gonna build a villa in Sevilla and walk around in my pyjamas, but
Did you hear the Doppler effect when the Rozzers drove past
Everything I knew went down a semitone and
All that they could do was laugh
It's a...

Ram raid at the Palace of Wonder
Foot right to the floor
I thought we had the measure of the treasures
But we bounced right off the door
It's a...
Ram raid at the Palace of Wonder
All the guards are on the payroll
We had faith, we had science, we had crowbars and semtex
We're still looking through the keyhole

Footnotes for non-East End gangsters:
- Cats & dogs = 'raining cats and dogs' = raining heavily
- Time on the inside = time in prison
- Rozzers = the Police

[PaulAds]

Just had a quick look...I'm full of busy at the moment, but the lyrics are absolutely fantastic and I can't wait to grab a listen later...

[pompeyjazz]

The lyrics are sensational. What a great story. The whole track rocks and bounces all the way through. It's a wonderful catchy infectious tune. Now which mix - Phew ! That's a difficult one for me but I'd say personally that the second mix works a bit better for me, it seems to be slightly brighter and bouncier but both the mixes are absolutely excellent. This is a top class piece of work (once again) 

[Mikey]

This brilliant!, the vocal fits perfectly, right from the start I was seeing dodgy cockneys waiting in the back of an old van wearing stockings on their heads and carrying sawn offs, I could almost smell the stale fags and brown ale.

I love lyrics that tell a story, and the humour really keeps the interest going.

The whole track reminds me of late 70's punk, and its a real treat to listen to, nice job geezer!

[PaulAds]

Great tune to go with the great lyrics!

Is this your band? I'd love to hear more about them, I think i read a bit in one of your earlier posts, but not sure...anyway, they/you are excellent...

I thought it was brilliant...do you get out and about gigging? I'd be there like a shot.

Great energy and atmosphere. A top tune 

[Binladeda]

 Hey Paul 

 Amazing.  Great energy and character. Loved the chorus 

 Fantastic lyrics, and delivery. Not a big fan of the synth that comes in at 1.10.
 Would like to hear some thing a bit more meaty. That guitar that came in around
 2. 12 sounded great.  Loved all the guitars.  Was that you ?  Definitely demo No. 2
 for me.

 Top class song my friend 

[Skub]

Yo Paul.

'Kin excellent work,Ian Dury on acid with added Split Enz...

Beyond any meaningful crit on my part. If I had to choose between the demos,it would be track 2,but there isn't a whole hill of beans in it. Innit. 

[Sea]

wow..l loved this. lv listened to it now 5 times..(demo track One gets my vote)

Everything about it works in my opinion..lyrics match the 'cockney 70's vibe' from the musical arrangements to the vocals. Real good beat matched the lyrics perfectly. Intro and fade out was just right.

The vocal artist worked really well to get a '70's cockney feel' l loved it.

 l love the build up process from 2.19  and the 'touch' of  cheeky laugh at 2.58 was perfect.

l really don't think there is anything more to do to this track.. l would'nt alter a thing on that track.

l'd go right out now and buy it

[adamfarr]

Great energy (again) here. It just feels good. You could probably be singing about anything. Kudos for getting the Doppler effect into any song anywhere...

Mix 2 for me for not very definable reasons (something about the guitrars?).

Great stuff again...

[PaulyX]

Thanks so much for the feedback guys, especially on mix preference - that really helps a lot.  On balance it sounds like mix 2 is the one we'll go for.
Pompey: thanks man, you're an inspiration for bouncy rocky tunes yourself so that means a lot.
Mikey: late 70s punk, yep that's the territory we're aiming for with this slew of songs, glad it comes across.
PaulAds: yes, this is our band, although we're a 'virtual file-sharing band' as we live in different countries now so no gigging.  I'd love to get some kind of live incarnation going, but it's a bit of a pipe dream at the mo sadly.
Bin: yep I had to arm wrestle those synths in.  I know what you mean but wanted something weird and a bit atonal coming in.  Glad the later guitars are more your cup of tea.
Skub: Ian Dury on acid - that made my day!  I'm a big fan (of Dury, not acid I should add, but then again...)
Sea: huge thanks for playing it 5 times!  That little laugh at 2:58 is a tiny sample of Syd James I found on Youtube.  I felt he had to be in there somewhere as the Uber-Cockney.
Adam: Glad the energy carried across, thanks buddy.

[TheButcher]

Hey

I agree, if you say, you want to work on the mix.

It could be polished and the drums need more punch; but don t as me, i have the same problems.

The song is great; especially the lyrics; wow; i could never write like that doesn't t matter.

It rolls along very....very good; the whole thing.

kudos

B

[ScottLevi]

Hey Paul,

As others have said, super lyrics - and a proper authentic execution which really sells it.

Great catchy chorus and I really dig the breaks too.

Not sure if I noticed any difference or just preferred a second listen, but guess I'll have to vote mix 2 aswel

Cheers,
Scott

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Bloody excellent!

The chorus is so good that the rest of it could be crap and it would still be great. But it isn't...the verses are great too. Love the vocal. The title/hookline is wonderful. Guitar break is knockout...sounds lovely!

I listened only to mix 2 cos that seems to be the choice for the others and I'm no judge anyway.

Having said all that it seems daft to offer any criticism and it isn't that really just ideas of what I might do if it was mine....another perspective anyway....I'd ditch the synth in the first break just stick with the rest of the backing...maybe a little something else but not that particular sound. In contrast the guitar sound is the RIGHT sound for this....fantastic. Then I would come back in with the chorus at 2.45 straight after the guitar AND I would repeat the chorus again but maybe that's a bit much...no I don't think so!

Loved it.

[Yodasdad]

Yeaaah!

100% mix 2 for me.

That's a killer chorus mate. It's big but I want it even bigger! I would build/bring those Bv's up more so that they really envelope the listener. I don't know if I'm hearing or imagining some kind of phase or flange effect on the bv's but whatever it is i want more of it, maybe some swirling panning as well and dare I say it even some obvious auto tune to give it more of an electronic feel to the vox which I'm already kind of getting.

Really enjoyed this.

Lyrically very good, anyone who can get the Doppler effect in there has a thumbs up from me.

Yodasdad

[PaulyX]

@ Butch - thanks, I'm glad you liked it.  Drums - yes, see what you mean - we'll take that into account in the final mix.
@ Scott - thanks a lot for listening and the further nod towards mix 2 - appreciated.
@ Viscount C - glad you liked it. We're currently debating whether the synth stays or gets kicked out the van. Thanks for the useful observations on the structure.  At this stage we'll probably just focus on mixing tweaks not structural ones but those chorus comments also help me with the next song (currently under construction).
@ Yoadasdad - that's great feedback, I like the idea of the BVs going really big - it could go a bit "Jeff Lynne" couldn't it?  Maybe in the outro chorus at least.  We'll factor that in.
Thanks a lot guys and good week ahead.