[ScottLevi]

Hey hey,

I've been messing with these chords for a while, but not been able to find the words to fit.

Then about 5 o'clock, out of nowhere... So opportunity seized.

Hope you enjoy, listen at your peril.

https://soundcloud.com/namelessmc/keep-fucking-up
https://soundcloud.com/namelessmc/keep-fucking-up-1

Keep Fucking Up

I keep fucking up,
And letting down,
Everybody,
I care about,

And I can't understand,
Why they keep me around,
When I'm just...

I keep fucking up,
Again and again,
Never learning,
Does that make me insane?

And I don't understand it,
So how the fuck will you?
When I'm just...

Thought we were supposed learn
From our mistakes,
But I don't know,
Maybe it's just fake!

<bridge>

Thought I was supposed to grow,
From lessons of the past,
But I've just flat-lined,
And realised at last...

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Scott. I think you've got all the basic elements of a really good song here. There's a good structure and chord progression and plenty of attitude in there. It's brilliant how these ideas suddenly spring from nowhere and then kerrrrbammm. Nice one man 

[Oldbutyet]

First of all your guitar has to much control, you need to break the gaps down to let your vocals come in.

Let the flow work   

[ScottLevi]

Hey John, Oldbut.

Cheers for the feedback, I tried to take it on board but think I ended up going the other way.. Less attitude and less gaps for vocal 

Put another version up, and slowly getting around to leaving feedback. xD

Cheers,
Scott.

[giitlesriddles]

I always write these as I listen, and I like the chords man. Also the finger noises make it feel more raw. Not sure how I feel about the synth trumpet but I like the composition. I feel like you should have put organ or piano there. Some midis can't make convincing sounds. Also make sure everythings rhythmically together. It will make a much catchier tune. I love the little hammer on on the guitar.  The random instruments make it sound sloppily though. If they're only in one part then they don't serve a purpose in the overall feel. Make them feel like they make sense.
Also you need an ending that pops out a bit more.
Keep working, it has great potential.

[PaulyX]

Hey Scott, for me I quite like the surprise choices of midi instruments here - it's an unusual combination for sure. I quite like the lo-fi sound, sure they sound fake not real instruments but to me that felt fitting for a quirky song like this which is about 'things going wrong' after all. I like the chords too. The main thing I'd focus on is timing, since it felt like there were a couple of wobbles here and there... maybe not easy to stay in time as you don't have drums in the track?  Is recording to a click track an option?

[Yodasdad]

Lot of creativity and a lot of potential.

Also a lot of chromatiscism and dissonance which give it a bit of an awkward feel.

The timing needs tightening up a bit. The whole thing is in 4/4 time but there were points where there were more like 5 or 3 1/2 beats to the bar. Nothing wrong with doing that but in this case it didn't seem intentional.

Personally I would spend a bit more time refining this.

Keep on creatin

Yodasdad

[Viva La Stereo]

YES. This is the stuff. It's raw and strangely hypnotic... It sounds like it was recorded in some parallel universe or something (I don't mean that in a negative way either) it's almost otherwordly. The melody is really nice, like some kind of vulgar lullaby. My day has improved after hearing this.

[ScottLevi]

Hey All,

Thanks for the feedback, it's all been really useful and I like to think I've actually taken a lot of it on board with what I've been working on since.

Sorry I haven't been around but I'll continue to cameo when possible to return some of the kindness and time given to me.

I've moved on from this now, so thanks for anyone who has taken the time to listen.

All the best,
Scott.