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Braver than brave collaboration with Darren1664

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Martinswede

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« on: July 08, 2017, 05:18:47 PM »
Hi!

Darren1664 posted his lyrics in Collaborations and it caught my interest. It didn't take long for me to fit a melody to it. (There is a possibility the melody is just bits and pieces borrowed because it was way too easy to write it IMO).

I've left most of the lyrics intact because in my opinion it is basically finished it only needed to work with the melody I wrote.
I seek some creative input to this song. The recording I've made is kind of what I can do. I don't play piano in a satisfactory manner. Can't program drums. All I can do is to add more vocals or banjo basically.

I noticed a bit too late I change the order of the words like/life in the last part on the recording. I see no meaningful Freudian analysis of it.
 
This is Darrens lyrics thread:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=13464.0
This is the song on Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/k-martin-j/braver-than-brave-lyrics-collab-w-d-bowe

Braver than brave

I was tired and broken and would have left this world behind me
If I knew for sure that I’d hold you again Feeling crushed; I’d loved and lost
How do I move on?
Oh, how I needed you then.

You told me that I would fill my heart with sorrow
You begged me to try and love somebody new and the years rolled by
I learnt to love again
But I still need you now

Braver than brave; your last words when you were bound
To slip away into the night was to tell me that it’s going to be all right

Love transcends through flesh and through bone
I still feel your love burn in my soul
A loved one is never truly gone
‘cause in our hearts, you live on

[chorus]

Then you held me for the final time
You squeezed me like life just begun    
You said, ‘I love you mum’.

Braver than brave; your last words when you were bound
« Last Edit: July 29, 2017, 08:20:46 AM by Martinswede »

Darren1664

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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2017, 06:15:33 PM »
Hi Martin

Thanks again for working with my lyrics! First off I love the direction you've taken this and it was quite moving hearing my words sung to another's music and melody

You have the perfect voice for this and I felt your delivery really captured the emotion

I did feel at times you needed to rush some of the lines because me being me I put too many dang words in! So I will go through the lyrics soon to try and edit them down :)

I love the simplicity of just your vocal and guitar and am stoked to have you working on this!

All the best

Darren

Edit: I've listened a few more times and it really catches me how you sing "Braver than brave"!! Great stuff :)
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 06:33:36 PM by Darren1664 »

Martinswede

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« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2017, 07:44:56 PM »
Thank you Darren!

Editing would be very welcome.  :)
I didn't count the syllables in any way. The line 'To slip away...' is too crowded but I find no other way of saying the same thing with fewer words.

Martin

Darren1664

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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2017, 07:51:55 PM »
Working on it Martin  ;) and hopefully I can find some words that work slightly better. However you have done an excellent job so far of 'realising' these lyrics into a song.

 8)

Darren

Darren1664

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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2017, 05:59:16 PM »
Hi Martin

Well I had fun and games with this :P I normally write lyrics with guitar in hand but tried to write this just by listening to your track. I have edited the words in the hope that they will sit better with your melody and rhythm and I hope they do. I have also changed them somewhat so I hope you still like them.

I really like what you've done with this. The last section "Then you held me for the final time..." I wanted to change this a lot and have had a go but still not settled. Any help there would be great and of course feel free to amend the lyrics as necessary. I hope these changes work for you

Thanks

Darren


Braver than brave

I was tired and broken and would have left this world behind me
If I knew for sure that I could be with you again
How do I move on?
Oh, how I needed you then

You told me that I would fill my heart with sorrow
So you wanted me to try and love somebody new
I have learnt to love again
But I still need you now

Braver than brave; your last words when you were bound
Into the night was to tell me "it will be alright"

Love transcends through the flesh and through the bone
I still feel your love burn within my soul
Is someone truly gone
If inside us they live on?

[chorus]

As you held me for the last time
You held yours tears and wiped away mine
and said I love you, be strong

Braver than brave; your last words when you were bound

Martinswede

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« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2017, 03:24:45 PM »
Great!

I'll check it out asp.

Martin

PaulyX

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« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2017, 12:50:08 PM »
Chipping in to say this is sounding great gents... stick with it.  Tailor-made song for your voice Martin, which sounds great on this.  Lovely simple, wistful acoustic treatment and I think it's going to be really moving when finished.  Just wanted to offer some encouraging applause from the sidelines.
It's all too beautiful.

Darren1664

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« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2017, 09:05:54 PM »
Chipping in to say this is sounding great gents... stick with it.  Tailor-made song for your voice Martin, which sounds great on this.  Lovely simple, wistful acoustic treatment and I think it's going to be really moving when finished.  Just wanted to offer some encouraging applause from the sidelines.

Thanks Pauly! Yeah I think Martin's performance on this is spot on! The only kinks are in the lyrics and once they're worked out this could be a really moving song...love the emotion in his voice!

Skub

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« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2017, 11:57:45 PM »
Love this.
New album 'Flying Solo' by Davy Vance available from bandcamp

https://vancemagill.bandcamp.com/album/flying-solo

Follow on Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/album/4BOvUv16dOl6cgcWANX1Dz

Soundcloud songs
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955

Martinswede

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« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2017, 08:24:24 AM »
Thanks Skub and PaulyX!

I hope I find time to re-record it soon.

Martin

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2017, 09:14:01 PM »
This is really well done guys. Fab lyrics and you've got the vocal delivery spot on Martin. Excellent stuff  :)

Martinswede

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« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2017, 07:30:55 PM »
Thank you pompeyjazz!

I'm planning to add some piano and sweet banjo to the new vocals take. Hopefully I'll have it done by the end of this week.

Martinswede

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« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2017, 01:52:05 PM »
Ok. I've recorded the new vocals and posted in Finished Songs.

Thank you all!

http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=13618.0