I'm going to give you a dissenting opinion.
The first line ends with "for fuck's sake."
Now, I don't mind profanity if it has a purpose. But the line isn't in any way stronger than "for God's sake" would be. Or "For Christ's sake," or any number of less offensive options.
I can stand to hear "fuck" in a lyric. But "Fuck" just for the sake of saying it is a major turn-off to me.
Then, just a very few lines in, it happens again, and I'm pretty much done reading.
I'll come back and review this again sometime. But it's unlikely that I'll decide that shock value has artistic value. I find myself hoping this does NOT get published to add to the glut of un-necessarily profane "shock pieces" already choking the airwaves.
Again.... no word should be off limits. But no word should be used just to get attention if it does not enhance the song. The two instances I saw did not in any way enhance the song. The rule I use when writing is "if it NEEDS profanity" to make a point, use the profanity. It's art, and art should not be censored. This one did not need the ultra profane word used.
Okay.... I've gone back and read it again. The first line simply does not in any way "need" the level of profanity that you've used in my opinion.
The second use (mother fucking float) is arguably useful to the lyric because it is followed up to the "shock therapy" line, and does (in fact) enhance that line.
It is my opinion that the (arguably useful) shock value in the "mf float" reference would be enhanced if the "shock card" hadn't already been played in the first line. You weaken the second use with the first.
It is also my opinion that it's usually (I try not to say "always" or "never") a mistake to utilize shock value in the first line, or even in the first stanza.
I had thought about using "Christ's sake" or "God's sake" instead, but I believe that's more offensive.
And the intention of the F bombs wasn't shock value. The way I write most of my songs is fiddling around with chords, hum some melodies and kind of just say/sing whatever comes out of my mouth. This time around, I wanted to write an empowering anthem. And certain things going on in my life (past and present) were the catalyst to do this. So, while playing some chords, the first line that came out of my mouth was "I've got a backbone for fuck's sake". And I went from there.
It wasn't for the shock value, it was what I felt in the moment. It was me feeling weak, taken advantage of, bullied, disrespected, quiet, shy, depressed, etc. throughout my entire life and taking a step back to remind myself that I do have a backbone. I am stronger than I, or some people, think.
You are 100% entitled to your opinion and have no obligation to listen to this song (even when it gets published). I thought I'd let you know my side of it.
Micky
