[CaliaMoko]

Here's my entry. In WIP for two reasons. 1-It still needs work and 2-I posted too recently in FS. Since it is technically unfinished, it's posted in SoundCloud as "private". That keeps it from showing up on my website of finished music.

I'm not looking for feedback on production, although if that's your thing, feel free. I don't turn down any help. I'm most interested in how well my song illustrates the "summer/beach" theme. And how the structure and the lyric work with the music.  I originally started with last verse, then went straight to the second verse before coming to the first chorus. I'm not sure which way is better--the way it is here, or to have the last verse start AND end the song. Please don't be easy on me. I love getting criticism I can get my teeth into.

The link is: https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/summer-sun/s-uARII

Words (I think this is the final version):

Summer Sun

Summer sun
Sky is clear and the weather is fine
Sandy beaches are callin' my name
I revel in the summer sun

I've waited so long for the winter to pass
The snow and the cold have all gone at last
I've put away all my cold-weather clothes
Dug out my sandals to liberate my toes

Summer sun
The garden's planted and the grass is green
Blossoms blooming on my apple trees
The glory of the summer sun

I've waited so long for the winter to pass
The snow and the storms are all gone at last
I've put away all my cold-weather clothes/blues
Dug out my sandals to liberate my toes

Summer sun
Feel the breezes blowing through my hair
I've left behind my worries and cares
I glory in the summer sun.

Words and music copyright 2017 Vicki Morrison
Background track by Neil Connor

[PaulAds]

I think it sounds great, Vicki.

Neil's done a great job with the backing...it's got a brilliant sort of doo-wop feel to it which I've always found really appealing...

Your voice is sounding lovely here and I think it's pretty much the finished article as it is.

Very nice indeed!

[Kristupas]

Beautiful voice, very soothing.

Simple, repetitive melodic motives, and it works. In general I like that peaceful vibe of this song.

It's a great song to listen to while actually going on a holiday, on a long road and just listen to it and chill.

Like it,

Kris

[PaulyX]

Yep, works really well Vicki (and Neil).  Nothing felt out of place to me, it had a kind of old school 50s feel... I hear phantom really high pitched backing vocals in my head because of that.  Your voice sounds really good on it, especially on some of the long notes you hold with lots of vibrato.  It's a cracking 'does what it says on the tin' song with no left turns that makes me feel nostalgic for summers in times and places I never really knew, so very evocative.

[Martinswede]

Hi Vicki!

I think you've added some welcome complexity to the summer theme.
50's or more the myth of the 50's through the eyes of Scorsese and
Ellroy. Innocent, yet I sense dark undertones.

Martin

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Wow you've got a great voice for this style Vicki! Shirelles or something like that.

Really enjoyed it. Think the verse thing is fine the way you've got it. Beaches calling is good in the first verse and leaving behind your worries and cares works for the last verse.

Nice chorus....one thing if you really want to hear it....I wonder if the last chorus line could go up a bit....a bit more soulful and...er...liberating...like your sandals!

Good job Neil's done with the backing...sounds all good.

Lovely.....think you're missing out on some feedback here not having it in the finished songs section.

[Skub]

Hey Vicki.

I stumbled on this one almost by accident,I don't often look in WIP.

Lovely 50s and early 60s feel to the song. It stands as it is,or you could do the whole Phil Spector thing with loads of girly backing vocals and big drum sound. I get carried away. 

Should be in finished songs,despite your explanation.

Neil's input has tightened up the track and it's a solid version.