[LifeIsAMinefield]

Ive hit writer's block with this lyric. It's meaning is a bit self-explanatory. It has a strong, rock-and-roll tune and the rest of it sounds a little similar to "You and I" by the Arctic Monkeys.

I'd like to hear your opinions on it so far, and also some ideas to finish this one as I'm stuck in the mud. I know it's not a lot so far.

I found somebody dangerous;
We'll see if I ever learn to play it down.
I swear we don't need someone to save us
And if we did you would be hearing it loud.

I've learnt to trust all my instincts:
Avoid places far from my watering hole.
Right now they're screaming "Oh shit,"
But my instincts aren't in love with a girl.

The mind-blower's idea of a picnic
Says it's a bad idea but it doesn't show.
Bringing nothing to the table
And I know nothing that nobody else knows.
There's nothing more to life than the girl
When everything else's so small to me:
Small world, small car, small you-know-what;
Small everything; I've micrencephaly.

I'd like the next verse to start with something like this:

I found somebody gorgeous;
We'll see if anyone accepts that it's true.

[KyleRead]

Hey there!

I'm not sure what to add for your next verse. I don't feel a flow of words that would fit, in my opinion. I like the idea of the story, and also very self-explanatory, which is easier to understand. I'm not sure who "we" is in these set of lyrics.

I found somebody dangerous;
We'll see if I ever learn to play it down.
I swear we don't need someone to save us
And if we did you would be hearing it loud.

I don't know who you're talking about. Is it his/her friends? Family? It's not very clear, in my opinion. Other than that, you got a good start to a good song! Hope you finish this projects and hope to see more!

Kyle

[LifeIsAMinefield]

Hey there! I don't know who you're talking about. Is it his/her friends? Family? It's not very clear, in my opinion. Other than that, you got a good start to a good song! Hope you finish this projects and hope to see more!

Kyle

"Us" is referring to the guy and his "dangerous somebody".
"We" is just kind of general... Imagine it means "the human race", e.g. "We have to eat in order to stay alive".

I should probably try and make this less ambiguous.

I've been working on this song for ages now, and I've got a sound I love, but I'm stuck in with the words.

[diademgrove]

Great opening line but then you leave us hanging in mid-air. I want to know why is she/he dangerous, what has happened, how you feel, what you are going to do, are you going to stick or twist.

the rest of your words seem to be from another song. There are some good lines in the rest of your lyrics but nothing that screams she's dangerous, what happens next.

Sorry, please free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith

[LifeIsAMinefield]

Great opening line but then you leave us hanging in mid-air. I want to know why is she/he dangerous, what has happened, how you feel, what you are going to do, are you going to stick or twist.

the rest of your words seem to be from another song. There are some good lines in the rest of your lyrics but nothing that screams she's dangerous, what happens next.

Sorry, please free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith

I think I found a different meaning and made a bit of a breakthrough with the words. It's now a song about how people (i.e. his parents) always regard the girl as dangerous, and how the guy breaks free and ignores their opinions; she's not actually dangerous, and he's going to prove it, but not necessarily in the politest of fashions. It's quite rough, and I'm probably going to change the structure, but I've got the meaning down now.

I found somebody dangerous;
We'll see if I ever learn to play it down.
I swear we don't need someone to save us
And if we did you would be hearing it loud.

I've learnt to trust all my instincts:
Avoid places far from my watering hole.
Right now they're screaming "Oh shit,"
But my instincts aren't in love with a girl.

And would you trust me if I said
I don't need you anymore.
If you think you must be in control
I'll happily show you to the door.
And if you could prove to me you deserve me
You could be Presi of the USA.
But all you know is your ABC,
You don't know the way I behave.

I found somebody gorgeous;
We'll see if anyone accepts that it's true.
I wish we didn't have someone to police us;
You live on totalitarian avenue.

Do they say sharing is caring?
Well I don't want no caring from you.
Yes, I hear those alarm bells blaring
Here come rozzers with their blues and their twos.

And would you trust me if I said
I don't need you anymore.
If you think you must be in control
I'll happily show you to the door.
And if you could prove to me you deserve me
You could be Presi of the USA.
But all you know is your ABC,
You don't know the way I behave.

If the underworld's for my fire
And heaven above is for my wings,
There's a chance my darling's a liar
But I already bought the wedding ring.

[Oldbutyet]

Great opening line but then you leave us hanging in mid-air. I want to know why is she/he dangerous, what has happened, how you feel, what you are going to do, are you going to stick or twist.

the rest of your words seem to be from another song. There are some good lines in the rest of your lyrics but nothing that screams she's dangerous, what happens next.

Sorry, please free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith

I think I found a different meaning and made a bit of a breakthrough with the words. It's now a song about how people (i.e. his parents) always regard the girl as dangerous, and how the guy breaks free and ignores their opinions; she's not actually dangerous, and he's going to prove it, but not necessarily in the politest of fashions. It's quite rough, and I'm probably going to change the structure, but I've got the meaning down now.

I found somebody dangerous;
We'll see if I ever learn to play it down.
I swear we don't need someone to save us
And if we did you would be hearing it loud.

I've learnt to trust all my instincts:
Avoid places far from my watering hole.
Right now they're screaming "Oh shit,"
But my instincts aren't in love with a girl.

And would you trust me if I said
I don't need you anymore.
If you think you must be in control
I'll happily show you to the door.
And if you could prove to me you deserve me
You could be Presi of the USA.
But all you know is your ABC,
You don't know the way I behave.

I found somebody gorgeous;
We'll see if anyone accepts that it's true.
I wish we didn't have someone to police us;
You live on totalitarian avenue.

Do they say sharing is caring?
Well I don't want no caring from you.
Yes, I hear those alarm bells blaring
Here come rozzers with their blues and their twos.

And would you trust me if I said
I don't need you anymore.
If you think you must be in control
I'll happily show you to the door.
And if you could prove to me you deserve me
You could be Presi of the USA.
But all you know is your ABC,
You don't know the way I behave.

If the underworld's for my fire
And heaven above is for my wings,
There's a chance my darling's a liar
But I already bought the wedding ring.

Can i ask whats the problem here, reads great to me, what you need now is to listen back to the recording and hear it as the listener not the writer, then the words will sort themselves out.