[robodelfy]

Hi, I'm new here...

I'm in the process of finishing an album of songs I wrote over the last few years. This is slightly newer, and I would like to know what people think. I normally write very depressing songs lyrically, but this is my first positive love song! I would not normally write such obvious lyrics, but I was trying to express something quite simply! It was written for my partner about a year ago.

I recorded it on a little Zoom H1, just my acoustic, and in the second half some doubling of vocals and acoustic bass, and my friends harmonies. It's not a good recording but you get the idea.

I feel the song is finished, but obviously I would hope to bring it to life when recording it properly, so this can be considered a very rough demo!

https://soundcloud.com/oldboynetwork/obn-wide-awake-and-full-of-love-demo

Let me know what you think. Lyrics below :

Press your feet so gently down
I left a message there for you to find somehow
If your body aches tonight
Don't be sad I'll sit here by your side
------------------------------------------------
Now I'm wide awake and full of love
When I'm with you I've found my way
Now I'm wide awake and full of love
I never thought I'd be this way
------------------------------------------------
Tell me all your secret things
Hold me down and kiss me so I won't feel a thing
If you find you're lost in doubt
Don't be scared I'll blow those cobwebs out
------------------------------------------------

[Tommy Blixt]

What's up man!

I dig it.

Even though you said to make a happy love song, I can't really agree with you, haha.. I know the struggle of going outside of the depressing shit. it sort of reflects on everything I write aswell. It's not fully said, more a longing sadness I feel. Embrace the sadness I say!

The songwriting is really good. I think this song has potential. Maybe you could add some more instruments to the finished version. Perhaps a VERY LOW drum towards the end. Some ukelele would be nice too me thinks.. hmmmm... Enjoyed it!

PS.
I wouldn't leave 10 seconds of silence in with the mix. It didn't serve any purpose I felt. And it's so easy to remove.

Also put down some reviews! That's only fair I think! <3

With love
Tymm

[PaulyX]

Hey, welcome.
Impressive demo to show up with.
It's a sign of a good song that it can hold attention with very little production like this.
I like the folkiness of the guitar picking and it sits well with the bass line you have added (same guitar?).
I'd be inclined not to over produce it and add much more, since part of its appeal is the intimate atmosphere - that fits the lyrics, which are simple but not cliched (like the 'cobwebs' line).
Cheers
Pauly