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June 28, 2017, 03:44:48 AM
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Read June 19, 2017, 09:47:42 AM #0
leetmendez

Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

Hi all,

As per the title, please have a listen to my demo if you can. It's an indie/rock song inspired by listening to Radiohead one night which I never normally do! They are generally not my sort of band barring 1 or 2 songs but after listening to OK Computer sitting in the dark looking out the window the verse melody and lyrics came very quickly hence they are pretty depressing! But out the blue came an upbeat chorus.

Anyway please have a listen if you have a spare 5 minutes. Paper Dolls - https://soundcloud.com/user-599154357/paper-dollsdemo-by-colchester-singer-songwriter-lee-mendez-2017

Thanks

Lee
 
Read June 20, 2017, 07:59:41 PM #1
mickyplankton

Re: Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

Hi Lee. What is exciting about this song is that even in raw demo form it's great to listen to.  You have a great singing voice and a great jacket. That's a winning combo right there LOL. With a decent drummer and guitarist on board this could be a great anthem. In its raw form it's a good demo, when you re record it, make sure you add some rhythm to that guitar.
 
Read June 21, 2017, 05:49:02 PM #2
Kristupas

Re: Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

I like it, it has a melancholic feel.
Of course your vocals are like a contrast: clean against the muffle.
But the chord progression, and in general the feel,
in a way it provides somewhat vibe of scorpions(wind of change)  for me.

Thanks, and good luck with the search!

Also, your voice, it reminds me of the pet shop boys lead singer (beautiful, soft phonation voice), congratulations!
 
Read June 21, 2017, 06:40:52 PM #3
Darren1664

Re: Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

Hey Lee

I'm not sure I'd use depressing to describe this at all. There's a lovely uplifting-ness to it. You have a good voice that really suits this. Despite you saying it's demo I thought the quality was really good...makes me excited for the final version. Although I didn't study the lyrics hard they were captivating, be nice if you could post them up for a read  Smiley

I think this song is really good and has great potential. Please get a complete version up soon Smiley

Darren
 
Read June 21, 2017, 07:40:33 PM #4
knownasbeppe

Re: Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

Hey what's up!

This song really breathes the 80's. To be honest, It wasn't really my cup of tea. I find it way too slow for me.

I really enjoy your vocals on this though, and I think the instrumentation really serves it's purpose! I would really like to have bigger drums on this. Some big gated drums (you know what I'm saying).

I like your songwriting. It's very steady and finds its way!

With love
Tymm
 
Read June 23, 2017, 03:12:43 PM #5
PaulyX

Re: Paper Dolls - Feedback on a new demo I have just recorded please!

Hey Lee, nice song.  Strong sing-along melodies, quite Noel Gallagher-esque and you have a good voice.  Could imagine this with a lot more production behind it of course to give the song more dynamics.  Like you said, the chorus feels like the best part - strong contrast with the verse and I could imagine that being quite anthemic.  The only bit I question at the moment is some of your rhymes felt a bit too familiar (e.g. away/today, dry/why/goodbye)... try some half rhymes or some more unusual words?  Hope you go on and keeping building it.


It's all too beautiful.
 
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