The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
 
Advanced Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
June 28, 2017, 03:45:17 AM
Anthony Lane - Look what weve become | New album out now
Follow This Link For A Sneaky Peek Of The New Forum Logo:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11344.0
Pages: [1]   Go Down
Topic Tools  
Read June 17, 2017, 09:23:39 PM #0
Morefrog Jones

Broken Glass - (Rough Demo)

This is a Rough Demo/Cut & Paste Demo with no 2nd chorus as yet and a rough Vocal etc

https://soundcloud.com/morefrog-jones/walk-over-broken-glass-for-you-rough-demo-1/s-fFcrV

Not sure it flows well at the moment...but I think its got some potential as an Indie Rock Song.

Lyrics as they stand are

Drive me to distraction - just get a reaction
Do you really mean all those silly things that you say
You know that i feel your pain
But you've got give me something to hold on to.

So tell me what you want me to do
and I will walk on broken glass for you
Tell me what you want me to say
And i'l chase all your Troubles away.


 
Read June 18, 2017, 03:39:12 PM #1
Darren1664

Re: Broken Glass - (Rough Demo)

Hi Morefrog

i think this has a lot going for it. I really like the guitar line that opens the song and comes back in after the verse...it's really catchy and simple. The vocal is good and I really liked the whooo and oos at the end of the lines. The chorus is catchy and I really like the broken glass lyric.

If I could offer any input it would be a small adjustments lyrically...and that is to try 'talk' instead of 'chase' on the last line as I feel this would link back to the line before and still make sense.

Just a thought, ignore if it's cruddy Tongue

Good tune pal and keep working on it Smiley

Darren
 
Pages: [1]   Go Up
Jump to:  

A Brand New Copy Shoppe project