Just put out far and away my best track ever - Fresh Lemonade ft. Natalie Lucie

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Hooded Singer

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« on: June 17, 2017, 11:54:08 AM »
Check it out:


Fresh Lemonade ft. Natalie Lucie (Piano Version)

I collaborated with a woman named Natalie who provided a backing track for my vocals and lyrics.

The first version had my very rudimentary guitar backing:



I think one of the users here, maybe Vicki, said she can't watch videos so here's the bandcamp link where it's playable as audio only: https://hoodedsinger.bandcamp.com/track/fresh-lemonade-ft-natalie-lucie-piano-version  (you can also buy it for £0.25 if you're into helping starving artists)

Fresh lemonade

First time I saw you
In half a decade
First thing we do
Drink fresh lemonade
Out on the porch where old memories don't fade

Looking out onto the field
Where we once played
It got older but it's the same
We got older but we're the same

All that's changed is you dropped your nickname

We're just the same
We're just the same
Just the same

Forgive me for walking away
I didn’t know who I was
Until today

The hardest things I had to say
Were said over fresh lemonade
And I owe you an apology
For all the times I pushed you away from me
To me you always stayed true
And I’m so sorry for leaving you

I’m sorry
But I
I am loyal to you

And for everything that we’ve been through
The highs and lows
The ups and downs
I’ve got one thing that I know you want
A glass
A glass of fresh lemonade

I don’t wanna lose you again
I’m sorry for what I said to you my friend
I was in a dark place
I couldn’t see your light
But for the first time in my life it finally feels right
We’re sat back at the porch and drinking fresh lemonade

You showed me that even when times are hard
Even when I am mad
Even when the lemons life gave are bad
You can make fresh lemonade


She's so talented at piano. I think the track is dope now.

What do you think?

Fhaos

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« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2017, 01:59:07 PM »
The piano playing is amazing! It's a fast paced melody and it's solid overall  ;D

PaulyX

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« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2017, 08:28:43 PM »
HI, I like your lyrics and the lemonade motif, and how the lemonade changes meaning in the passage from childhood to adulthood (at least, that's how I interpreted it).
Nice piano playing.  I though I could hear a Joni Mitchell-esque, calm and  thoughtful piece in here trying to get out.
If you want to keep polishing it, in my opinion I'd say focus on the vocal pitch - it might just be my ears (I'm a long way from having perfect pitch...) but it felt a little flat in some passages to me.  Do you have the piano as MIDI or is it real audio?  If it is MIDI maybe you could try shifting the key a little up or down and see if it fits more comfortably?  That sometimes helps me anyway.
Good luck with it.


It's all too beautiful.

Oldbutyet

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« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2017, 09:39:27 PM »
Check it out:


Fresh Lemonade ft. Natalie Lucie (Piano Version)

I collaborated with a woman named Natalie who provided a backing track for my vocals and lyrics.

The first version had my very rudimentary guitar backing:



I think one of the users here, maybe Vicki, said she can't watch videos so here's the bandcamp link where it's playable as audio only: https://hoodedsinger.bandcamp.com/track/fresh-lemonade-ft-natalie-lucie-piano-version  (you can also buy it for £0.25 if you're into helping starving artists)

Fresh lemonade

First time I saw you
In half a decade
First thing we do
Drink fresh lemonade
Out on the porch where old memories don't fade

Looking out onto the field
Where we once played
It got older but it's the same
We got older but we're the same

All that's changed is you dropped your nickname

We're just the same
We're just the same
Just the same

Forgive me for walking away
I didn’t know who I was
Until today

The hardest things I had to say
Were said over fresh lemonade
And I owe you an apology
For all the times I pushed you away from me
To me you always stayed true
And I’m so sorry for leaving you

I’m sorry
But I
I am loyal to you

And for everything that we’ve been through
The highs and lows
The ups and downs
I’ve got one thing that I know you want
A glass
A glass of fresh lemonade

I don’t wanna lose you again
I’m sorry for what I said to you my friend
I was in a dark place
I couldn’t see your light
But for the first time in my life it finally feels right
We’re sat back at the porch and drinking fresh lemonade

You showed me that even when times are hard
Even when I am mad
Even when the lemons life gave are bad
You can make fresh lemonade


She's so talented at piano. I think the track is dope now.

What do you think?

Have to admit got confuse with all your links, your new track is with piano, but you're still singing the same way or im i wrong, first of all you need to compliment in vocal the piano style, sounds to me like you're not doing that, when you do then one will compliment each other, hint   8)

TheButcher

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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2017, 10:11:18 AM »
Hello;

i cant figure out a vocal melody here. it s more like...talking and it s far too quiet.

needs a lot of work.

lyrics seem cool - piano too.