[CaliaMoko]

Here's my latest. I'm nearly out of bandwidth and I have a ton of reviewing to do <<sigh>> and it's nearly impossible--well, difficult, anyway--on my phone.

Also impossible on the phone (at least as far as I can figure out) is uploading files to SoundCloud and, since I don't enough bandwidth left to upload from the computer, I've put this song on Google Drive. You should be able to follow the link to listen to it here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BxHIR19XRvwtdXBfYkljY2hSZ1U.

This song has two songwriters because it was written in response to my request for song titles on my Late Bloomers Rock project Facebook page. The deal was--give me a title. If I use it, you get co-songwriter credit. So Susan wrote the title and I wrote the song.

EDIT: Forgot to mention what I'm want for feedback. Basically, (1) is it worth producing? (2) Do the words work or should I look at doing some work on lyrics in one place or another? (3) Does the melody suit the lyric and/or is it too familiar sounding? I'm not actually looking for production ideas, although I'll take them if offered, just in case I have this "worked on" some day.

I Need Room for My Legs

Did you hear the news? The airlines are feeling a pinch.
I've been told the crews Are taking away another inch.
What are they tryin' to do, I ask ya? Some of us need the space.
They keep packin' in more 'n' more seats, but I need room for my legs.

I need room for my legs!
Oh man! You know, I need room for my legs!
Please stop pushin' those seats so close together;
I need room for my legs!

I just bought a new car; it'll go all day on one tank.
But when I get behind the wheel, I discover the chassis shrank
What are they tryin' to do, I ask ya? Some of us need the space.
Sure, I get better MPG, but I need room for my legs.

I need room for my legs!
Oh man! You know, I need room for my legs!
Please don't make the cars any smaller, cuz
I need room for my legs!

I just went to a movie; It's one I really wanted to see
They had moved the rows to fit more in, and there wasn't any room for my knees.
What are they tryin' to do, I ask ya? Some of us need the space.
I don't like the knees pokin' in my back AND I need room for MY legs.

I need room for my legs!
Oh man! You know, I need room for my legs!
Please stop pushin' those rows so close together, cuz
I need room for my legs!

Copyright 2017 Vicki Morrison and Susan Norlund

I know one line of the words doesn't match the recording. The printed lyrics are correct and I'll do a new recording some day.

[Paulski]

Hi Vicki

Sounds like my wife's van - it's an electric seat positioner so I always bang my poor knees when I get in then have to wait for it to give me more room gaah!
I like this - short and sweet.
Vocals and guitar are good and the lyrics are a hoot.
I expected a bridge where the last verse is just for a change-up but still works fine because it is short.

Well done to you and your co-writer 
Paul

[TheButcher]

I've been told the crews Are taking away another inch.

thats what i thought during my last flight - i m pretty big, so....

I m always surprised how other people have such refreshing ideas - in terms of song topics.
Your song was very inspiring. thank you.

B

[PaulyX]

Hey Vicki, I used to be a product manager for one of the airlines so enjoyed the first verse in particular.  It's a jaunty number - my thoughts on your question:
(1) is it worth producing?
I thought so. To me it feels like a comedy song you might hear on a sketch show on the radio here.  I guess that's the lighthearted vibe you are after.
(2) Do the words work or should I look at doing some work on lyrics in one place or another?
Yes, none of the lyrics jarred with me.
(3) Does the melody suit the lyric and/or is it too familiar sounding?
It is a familiar chord pattern and melody, nothing really leapt out melody-wise but I thought that was OK if when you produce it you add colour in the instrumentation... some skippy drums and (if you don't mind putting it firmly in the comedy song genre) for some reason I hear a kazoo solo in my head when I listen to this!
Ah, I think I just worked out why I have kazoos in my head. Do you know the song "I'm the Urban Spaceman" by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band?  Your song felt like a distant cousin of that to me.
Good luck with next steps on it.

[diademgrove]

Hi Vicki,

works for me. Definitely worth producing. If you have a listen to I'm the Urban Spaceman and particularly the last verse you'll notice how they ended the song. I think a similar pay-off verse is the only thing I can see that's missing.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree.

Keith

[Skub]

Yo Vicki.

What a charming song and such a novel idea for a topic.

I agree with Keith,there's an 'Urban Spaceman' vibe there to be exploited. Pete Seeger,'Little Boxes also springs to mind. Just because lyrics are funny or tongue in cheek doesn't make them any less relevant.

Go for it. I can never resist seeing how a song turns out and what is there to lose,you still have the original stripped back version anyway. 

[CaliaMoko]

We have enough bandwidth left this month for 4 more days, at our normal level of usage. I am mostly staying off line (I'm working on feedback offline for the beach/summer songs, so as to get some done without using bandwidth).

Meanwhile, I'm sneaking online for a few minutes to respond here:

Paulski:
I agree about the bridge, but I also don't want to lose my last verse, so...don't know what to do about that. Yet.

TheButcher:
I'm sure I would never have thought of this idea if I hadn't asked for people to submit titles on my "Late Bloomers Rock" Facebook page. I told my followers I would give them co-writer credit if I used their title. I'm going to try to use all the submitted titles (there were 7 total), but we'll see....  And...kazoos? Hmmm, maybe, but no promises. The sound would probably be appropriate, as you say.

PaulyX:
Hadn't heard of the "Urban Spaceman" before. I listened and enjoyed it very much. I like your idea about wrapping mine up in a similar way (with a twist?) but so far can't think how I would do it.

Keith:
If I can come up with a bridge, maybe I could incorporate the "pay-off" idea from "Urban Spaceman" somehow. Something I'll let simmer on the back burner to see if anything comes of it. I like the idea but don't know how to pull it off, so far.

Skub:
Mentioning "Little Boxes" sure took me back! I need to listen to it now. Might give me some ideas, too. In particular, I can't remember how that one ends, so I need to refresh my memory.

And thanks for the compliments to all of you! And thanks to everyone who listened.

Vicki

[Mutrins]

Love the idea. This does sound like a comedy track to me and what I would do (if this is the route you want to take) is take the lyrics and elevate them even more. Basic idea about not having enough leg room on a plane...but it can go into flight attendants, crying babies, mile high club (if you want to go there lol), plane food, turbulence, someone sleeping on your shoulder, dragging people off the plane violently, and whatever else but then at the heart of it you're like.....with all of this crap going down can I at LEAST have room for my legs?!

Just a thought. Might be a ramble but tried to get the idea as best I could in writing

Micky