[And Co.]

                                                                  Meretrix


Alone in the corner of the street
Waiting for someone who wants it
Sometimes I think to run away
You can't imagine what people say

But trust me,
I don't want it
If I lived like you
I wouldn't too

And if you think I'm happy you are wrong
My body is an object but not that strong
My mind is shocked, rocked, abused
But there's no choice, please hear my voice
I'm asking your help, set me free
Set me free!
Crying, I sadly discovered it
That he was gone and I was alone
So I looked upset around
Hoped for a job, but that's what I found

And trust me,
I don't want it
If I lived like you
I wouldn't too

And if you think I'm happy you are wrong
My body is an object but not that strong
My mind is shocked, rocked, abused
But there's no choice, please hear my voice
I'm asking your help, set me free
Set me free!

Let me know what you think about it, I'm also up to change the title!

[Neil C]

Hi,
I liked it and it had a good emotional feel to it.
There are some good lines in there:
"And if you think I'm happy you are wrong
My body is an object but not that strong
My mind is shocked, rocked, abused
But there's no choice, please hear my voice"

There are a couple which read slightly odd and you may want to alter them:

"Crying, I sadly discovered it" - sadly discovered is an odd wording, I'm note sure you need "sadly" and doesn't scan too easily

"So I looked upset around" - "upset around" is odd english, I'd delete upset so you still keep the end of line rhyme

"Sometimes I think to run away" - I'd change to "Sometimes I think I'll run away"

And as for title I had to look it up but it is an unusual word and not used in the song. You might want to consider "Set me free"

Anyway hope that helps and i like it, powerful stuff
 
Neil

[And Co.]

Thanks a lot Neil! I think I'll follow some of your advices, thank you again 

[diademgrove]

Hi,

the chorus is very strong, really powerful. The only problem I have is with the verse. You only have one if the "but trust me" is a pre-chorus. So the story is not very long and leaves me wondering what the "it" is.

That may just me being old fashioned but I like songs to have a bit more of a story.

If you disagree please ignore me.

Keith

[And Co.]

Hi,

the chorus is very strong, really powerful. The only problem I have is with the verse. You only have one if the "but trust me" is a pre-chorus. So the story is not very long and leaves me wondering what the "it" is.

That may just me being old fashioned but I like songs to have a bit more of a story.

If you disagree please ignore me.

Keith

Thanks for you help.
Actually I had 4 other lines, but I removed them cause I thought they were a little bit forced.
It would have looked like that:

Alone in the corner of the street
Waiting for someone who wants it
I look like I'm helpless but always nude
While their behaviour is often rude
Sometimes I think I'll run away
You can't imagine what people say

Crying I sadly discovered it
That he was gone and I was alone
Too many things I had to pay
I didn't have what to eat that day
So I looked upset around
Hoped for a job but that's what I found