Summer Lover (Collab with pompeyjazz - Summer Song Competition)

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Morefrog Jones

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« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2017, 07:45:46 PM »
Really enjoyable - love the lyrics - once you get over the unusual vocal delivery and hear it a few times it really grows on you. And Pompey jazz is getting pretty good at this producing lark :D

ScottLevi

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« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2017, 03:34:55 PM »
Hey Darren,

John is a darling isn't he? This so what the forums all about for me, leveraging different skills to help each other reach new heights.

Reading the lyrics first, I really admire how the first two verses set the scene so elegantly. Super relatable and very well put together imho.

Listening, this blew me away to be honest... Had to plug the speaker in and show my dad, then give your other stuff a listen!

Absolutely love your style, safe to say you have a new fan and John's masterwork has of course propelled this one to another level.

Keep em coming, please!

All the best
Scott
 
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mickyplankton

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« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2017, 07:31:42 PM »
Very enjoyable song. Love how the production seems to bring everything forward in the mix. There's quite a lot packed into 2 minutes including a superb guitar break. Can't really offer any constructive criticism I'm afraid. You've got a top song and a pro sidekick producing for you. This summer competition is really hotting up!

Darren1664

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« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2017, 08:40:39 PM »
Hey

So I realised Morefrog reviewed and I have been rude enough not to thank you!! :P missed that you had posted is all...but I am very grateful for your kind comments. I kinda dig that you think my vocal is unusual....because if anything that is what it is :P so thank you and yeah Pompey did a fab job, forever grateful

Scott thank you so much for a rave review!! It's very nice to hear that you like my song and my style! :) great for my confidence (for which I am lacking!) so thank you very much. I hope your dad enjoyed it too :P and I'm very taken aback that you say I have a new fan! So thank you thank you thank you...I do plan on getting more out there but still slowly working on my production skills (severely lacking...)

And yes this forum has been such a great resource since I have stumbled on it and to have someone take the time to help with producing my music is amazing.

Hey Mickey - so please you enjoyed the track and yes there's some superb entries to the summer song competition, many talented folks on this forum!!

Thanks to all that listened!! Regards Darren

Jambrains

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« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2017, 02:43:06 PM »
Ah, this was a quirky little bugger, took a while before I got me head around it but once I did it was movin' and groovin' in a great way! Found the guitars a bit "fat" if that makes any sense? Sort of taking up a little too much sonic real estate and lacking a little bit/edge? Think the "solo" guitar could come down a little in the mix and perhaps loose a little of the reverb but that is down to taste I guess.
Must say this one really grew on me, well done!
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adamfarr

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« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2017, 07:49:30 PM »
Now that's what I call infectious! Drives along without let up and with plenty of punch. Clever lyrics full of personality which keep us interested all through. It's just a good song I think, and the guitar-led production suits it so well. Nice stuff guys.

Binladeda

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« Reply #21 on: June 21, 2017, 09:06:37 PM »

 Yeah...great song guys ;D Lovin the vocal style. Suits
 the music really well. The complete package ;D It has
 a sort of naive charm/energy which I really like. Lovely
 guitar playing, a very familiar progression....works well,
 very catchy.  Great stuff, I'm sure this will do well in the
 comp.

 Good luck ;D

Nowt as queer as folk...........my gran

Darren1664

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« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2017, 10:31:43 PM »
Jam, Adam and Bin - Thank you so much for listening and your kind and constructive comments. I have been overwhelmed with the positive reception to this track! It's especially nice to hear kind comments of my voice as it's something of an insecurity to me. So thank you all :)

Jam - Thank you for the comments. My skills at identifying flaws in a mix are pretty much nil so I will try to hear what you do - it will be a good pointer for me in developing an ear. I must say that learning how to identify improvements in a mix is a hard skill to learn but like everything I suppose it is down to practice.

Paulski

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« Reply #23 on: June 21, 2017, 11:30:46 PM »
Hi Darren

It's the lyrics and their delivery that sold me on this.
Oh, and perfect length  ;D
John's expert touch on the mix and production shines through.
No nits from me - I enjoyed it!
Well done lads  ;D

Paul

Kristupas

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« Reply #24 on: July 01, 2017, 08:12:42 AM »
Lovely song!
I started listening to all of the summer competition songs.

It literally cracked a smile in my face, so easy to listen to, not too long, good prosody, you add in more and more to the song bit by bit.

I love it when your voice goes low on some parts of the lines( "..his eyes , .. sky") . It resonates really well. Of course the guitar sound soothes the ear.

Nice, thank you  :)

Kris

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2017, 02:31:38 AM »
Oooo, nice and island-y. Or something syncopated. Love it. I like the beat, the energy. The lyric is totally suitable to the summer challenge theme. The rhyme scheme is a little inconsistent, but it doesn't bother me. I just really like this.

I did notice a couple things in the lyrics that didn't feel quite right. "He was sat" (first line) seems like a really odd grammar error. "He was" needs "sitting" to complete the verb. If you want "sat", you shouldn't have "was". The line can easily work out rhythmically if you say "He sat on the beat in the summer".

Second one "But it wasn't them at all". I would expect it to say "But it wasn't her at all". Unless you're trying to be more all-inclusive and not be gender-specific about his summer lover, in which case, never mind.

Although, the same thing crops again in the next verse with "and something changed in their eyes". This one is even more confusing, because you're using "they" and "their" already in the verse, so it makes it feel like that idea is continuing. Except, in context, it can't be. So that one is a problem for me.

If you're trying to leave it open for him to have a summer lover that's either male or female, I would prefer the pronoun references be more clear. I haven't thought of a way to do that, though. Yet.

Anyway, just my opinions throughout, of course, so feel free to ignore me.

Vicki

Darren1664

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« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2017, 05:24:43 PM »
Hy Paul, Kris and Vicki

Thank you for your comments and sorry for the delay in re commenting.

Paul - I am glad you like it mate and thank you for your kind feedback. I am still surprised by the kind comments I have had to my delivery of the vocals...makes me smile.

Kris - Glad you liked it pal and again another kind comment about my vocal! This has been a real confidence boost to me so thank you :) and of course thank you for listening and commenting, so nice to hear you enjoyed it.

Vicki - I am really glad you liked it! :) and do you have a sixth sense or something? because your comments on the lyrics were spot on :P I originally wrote this as 'but it wasn't her at all' but I didn't like it with the lyrics I had at the time. I wanted to make the man on the beach the focus so thought that the less details about his lover I gave the more I would achieve this. However the lyrics did evolve and I think I could have gone back to being 'her' but I never did change it. Thank you for spotting this and commenting and for taking such time to review my song in such details. :)

Thank you everyone who has listened and commented, I am very grateful. And once again a massive thank you to John for helping me to the end with this!!

All the best

Darren

IronKnee

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« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2017, 06:53:56 AM »
Well....I sure like this. Very original....belongs on a soundtrack in a new Adam Sandler movie, perhaps.
Awesome grove.....one of my very favorites, so far!!! Love the lyric...great song!!
Very good stuff!
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Cazrolina

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« Reply #28 on: July 21, 2017, 10:08:47 PM »
Fab, fun and energetic. "clever pop" - as someone said earlier. Load of fun. Loved it.