White Bikini (Summer competition!)

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adamfarr

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« on: May 23, 2017, 09:49:39 AM »

Enough now! Enough of being that guy with the "meaningful" lyrics, doused in melancholy with a dollop of loathing! Thank god for Summer competitions! For this, at the top of the page I wrote "80 bpm, Ed Sheehan fake rap or something". So there.

It's about a holiday romance, though I wouldn't be me if everything went smoothly and they turned out to be totes compatible... It has a few scanning issues, but the great Ed never let that get in the way of a good line....


White Bikini

V1: day
You wore two white strings and a festival band
You got the full attention of my new Raybans
Trying to look cool, elbow in the sand
Only one side of me getting tanned

Pre-ch
Finally I heard myself say
Hey, can I borrow your creme de soleil
You said I don't bother, I just live for today...

CHORUS
That night you introduced me to caipirinha
All you needed to seduce me was your white bikini
Down in one's the way you go
When I would rather take it slow
I was all inclusive and you were pay as you go

V2: night
It took two hours and five San Miguels
To find you in the bar and tell you how I felt
You said come to the beach where there's nobody else
We can make sand angels and our names out of shells

Hand in hand, I heard myself say
Let's make them higher, away from the waves
You said but maƱana they'll be gone anyway...

CH

V3: morning
I woke wanting coffee but you said beer
Doubt like sand in my pants, while you had it all clear
I said Europe seems far, you said London is near
But I'm the chica you only meet once in a year

As you left, I heard myself say
Maybe later we can go out to play
But you only make stories and never make dates...

FINAL CH

(c) Adam Farr, 2017

PaulyX

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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2017, 10:57:50 AM »
HI Adam, love this... can hear it in my head already.  Latin rhythms and Spanish guitar perhaps?
I thought the lyrics were fab - as usual loads of witty touches, the only bit I got confused by was the last verse because I'm not sure who's saying what:

    I said Europe seems far, you said London is near
   But I'm the chica you only meet once in a year

Is it her or you the narrator saying the second line here?  I got confused because in the line before it says "you said..."... is it still her talking or back to you? Then:

    As you left, I heard myself say
    Maybe later we can go out to play
    But you only make stories and never make dates...

And I'm not sure who the "you" is in the last line - the narrator reprimanding himself as he 'heard himself say', or is he talking about the bikinied lady here?  Maybe if you could just find a way to clarify who's the subject there it would help the point of the third verse come through.

Really looking forward to hearing this.
It's all too beautiful.

diademgrove

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« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2017, 09:41:48 PM »
Hi Adam,

your lyrics made me smile. Looking forward to hearing the finished song.

Keith

adamfarr

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« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2017, 09:10:35 AM »
PaulyX - great catch - it's a hard one, and I didn't want to say "you said" every time but maybe that's what it needs. Though thinking about it, the point of view could be "I and she" or even "he and she". Something to think about.

Keith - many thanks for the encouragement - I'll push on with it!

Vintage54

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« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2017, 11:22:52 PM »

  Hi Adam,
     Clever sod, i also found myself smiling at the wit on display. Can i make a few suggestions to make this better, in a word, NO. I'll finish how i began, clever sod.

                           Enjoyed the holiday
                                 Vintage54

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2017, 01:06:50 PM »
Hello Adam,

The first verse is a cracker!the rest isn't without charm but verse 1 is a brilliant open gambit!

Paul

SFX

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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2017, 03:21:12 PM »
i really like this, some interesting, unique imagery you wouldn't hear in many songs nowadays but enough relatable imagery to keep gp interested... good job!