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Piece of History

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Movin Flavour

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« on: May 21, 2017, 07:01:51 PM »
I first started writing this song in my 20s... many years ago.
I never completed the lyrics song, until recently. Thanks to Phil Williams yet again, who helped me complete the song, and has made the song much better than I had ever imagined. He has also been really keen to develop his production skills too and develop his understanding of the whole process. I think he is doing an amazing job. This represents days/ hours of work for him, THANK YOU PHIL...I've also made a great friend along the way :)
As I returned to the song, I realized that I began writing the song about my two sons who are both on the Autistic spectrum. I must admit that I was in a dark place when I wrote this. They are in fact both inspiring in many ways and have made me a better person.....so Thankyou to both of them!
So these are the lyrics and link below. Thanks for finding the time to listen.

https://soundcloud.com/sandeep-issar/piece-of-history

Piece of History
Chorus - slow
Sleep child sleep
And when you arise.
You'll find a world to loathe and despise.
Cry when you cry and all that you'll learn
Is to hold a torch,that you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
(Bridge)
Verse 1
Cry like a dog to be heard in this world
Sleep on the floor and you're given your chance
Why don't you know
Why don't you see
The moment that you're born
You're just a piece of history
Chorus
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn
Verse 2
You walk down the streets, the neons and lights
The rations of hope meet the passions of night
Still don't you will know
Still don't you will see
The moment that you're born
You're just a piece of history
Chorus
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn
Instrumental
Verse 3
Child don't u know that the feeling subsides
Your hopes fall down and watch them sublime.
Then you will know
Then you will see
The moment that you're born
You're just a piece of history
You're living in a lie that just a piece of history
........HISTORY
Bridge
You're sinking
You're sinking
You're sinking
You're sinking
You're sinking
You're sinking my child
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn child
That you'll never burn nah
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn child
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn child
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn child
That you'll never burn
That you'll never burn
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn
To light up your soul
To light up your dreams
To light up your heart
That you'll never burn

tina m

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« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2017, 08:44:10 PM »
Great to hear something new from you Sandeep  :)
Youve been quiet for a long while & I always loved to hear your particular dance pop style...
Im very sorry to hear your sons are both afflicted with autism & I can hear the anger here you felt when they were young & why should it be them, both born like this
This is relentless & hypnotic & angry & pounding...great dance music
I hope you & Phil will be doing more :)
Tell me Im wonderful & I ll be nice to you :)

mickyplankton

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« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2017, 08:52:30 PM »
Hi Sandeep. I would echo Tina's sentiments. And I would add I think the production is first class. The song is a real force of nature but the production elevates into something that is anthemic. You should be proud of yourself and your collaborator for seeing this through. Thanks for sharing it with us. Micky.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2017, 09:52:46 PM »
Great to hear from you again Sandeep. I like this as it has real emotional feel. You've retained your dance feel but pushed in a new direction.  Excellent  :)

LostBoy

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« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2017, 11:02:38 PM »
Hello sandeep!!

Well that to me mate is power pop! I love it! The words are dark and powerful and the production drives the words home nicely with those awesome strings & beat! I also like the piano but not sure if it could "pop" a bit more in places? If it's just a texture piece that's obviously fine, the playings fine, it just might need some space made for it With EQ etc (however it could just be these shit headphones I'm listening on ;D )

Vocals are great, although I'm undecided if they're just a little too loud in the mix?...hmm...anyway, they had great clarity mate which is the main thing.

All in all, u and your mate have created an awesome song!
Congrats
Leo  ;D

Yodasdad

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« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2017, 12:13:33 PM »
Nice work, well worth having got this one finished.

Dark but full of life at the same time.

The pace of the beat took me by surprise, I think I was expecting something half speed but it worked after the initial shock.

Synthy strings and piano nicely done. I kind of agree with what lost boy said about the piano...maybe filling it out with some right hand chords at times instead of the single notes would also help.

The only other thing that I think would add to this track is a strong bass line. It seemed to be lacking in the low end a little.

Apart from this, well done though. Good job.

Yodasdad

Skub

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« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2017, 12:52:16 PM »
Hey Sandeep.

Yet another song to touch me today. I always think if a song causes a reaction of any kind,then it's job done for the composer,because the work has connected.

For me also,when a song has a definite remit it is always more convincing,the writer owns validation on the topic and it shows.

Thanks for sharing your emotions,Sandeep.  :)

adamfarr

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« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2017, 01:46:20 PM »
Wow - there really is some power and emotion coming through in this. Really like the "piece of ... history" line. When I saw the lyrics I thought it would be too repetitive but it seems spot on to me.

I liked the initial keybaords and more real sounding piano around 1'30" (shades of Joe Jackson?!). Nice addition of strings later on! Maybe the more synthy keyboard sounds in the choruses could go down in the mix a bit so they're acting more as pads and not a central feature? Not sure how that would sound.

Overall really different and great to listen to!

PaulyX

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« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2017, 06:26:38 PM »
Really well produced and the vocals very emotive.  I also felt I was looking for more of a bassline - add something more in the lower end and this could really fly.  There are a lot of vocals and while they are really good possibly you could make some space amongst them for more of an instrumental break / solo?  Felt like one would fit well.  Very interesting break down in the middle of the song too (around 2:45) when you almost stop for a moment... it shouldn't work, but does! Thanks for sharing such an honest song.
It's all too beautiful.

Movin Flavour

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« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2017, 09:34:07 PM »
Great to hear something new from you Sandeep  :)
Youve been quiet for a long while & I always loved to hear your particular dance pop style...
Im very sorry to hear your sons are both afflicted with autism & I can hear the anger here you felt when they were young & why should it be them, both born like this
This is relentless & hypnotic & angry & pounding...great dance music
I hope you & Phil will be doing more :)
....thx Tina great to be hypnotic and angry

Hi Sandeep. I would echo Tina's sentiments. And I would add I think the production is first class. The song is a real force of nature but the production elevates into something that is anthemic. You should be proud of yourself and your collaborator for seeing this through. Thanks for sharing it with us. Micky.
...thx Micky, Phil was chuffed about the anthemic comparison, he really is working hard on developing new techniques.


Great to hear from you again Sandeep. I like this as it has real emotional feel. You've retained your dance feel but pushed in a new direction.  Excellent  :)
...thx John

Hello sandeep!!

Well that to me mate is power pop! I love it! The words are dark and powerful and the production drives the words home nicely with those awesome strings & beat! I also like the piano but not sure if it could "pop" a bit more in places? If it's just a texture piece that's obviously fine, the playings fine, it just might need some space made for it With EQ etc (however it could just be these shit headphones I'm listening on ;D )

Vocals are great, although I'm undecided if they're just a little too loud in the mix?...hmm...anyway, they had great clarity mate which is the main thing.

All in all, u and your mate have created an awesome song!
Congrats
Leo  ;D
...thx Leo, we live "Power Pop"

Nice work, well worth having got this one finished.

Dark but full of life at the same time.

The pace of the beat took me by surprise, I think I was expecting something half speed but it worked after the initial shock.

Synthy strings and piano nicely done. I kind of agree with what lost boy said about the piano...maybe filling it out with some right hand chords at times instead of the single notes would also help.

The only other thing that I think would add to this track is a strong bass line. It seemed to be lacking in the low end a little.

Apart from this, well done though. Good job.

Yodasdad
... Thx Yodasdad

Hey Sandeep.

Yet another song to touch me today. I always think if a song causes a reaction of any kind,then it's job done for the composer,because the work has connected.

For me also,when a song has a definite remit it is always more convincing,the writer owns validation on the topic and it shows.

Thanks for sharing your emotions,Sandeep.  :)
....glad that you were moved

Wow - there really is some power and emotion coming through in this. Really like the "piece of ... history" line. When I saw the lyrics I thought it would be too repetitive but it seems spot on to me.

I liked the initial keybaords and more real sounding piano around 1'30" (shades of Joe Jackson?!). Nice addition of strings later on! Maybe the more synthy keyboard sounds in the choruses could go down in the mix a bit so they're acting more as pads and not a central feature? Not sure how that would sound.

Overall really different and great to listen to!
...thx Adam...Ltd for the tips, love Joe Jackson

Really well produced and the vocals very emotive.  I also felt I was looking for more of a bassline - add something more in the lower end and this could really fly.  There are a lot of vocals and while they are really good possibly you could make some space amongst them for more of an instrumental break / solo?  Felt like one would fit well.  Very interesting break down in the middle of the song too (around 2:45) when you almost stop for a moment... it shouldn't work, but does! Thanks for sharing such an honest song.
..thx Pauly, glad you like the break in the middle , I could hear it in my head, but we weren't sure if our thoughts had translated.

Thankyou all for your kind words


Sandeep/ Phil


Paulski

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« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2017, 01:27:29 AM »

Hi Sandeep and Phil

Well that was emotive and powerful.
Hypnotic in a way too. Super vocals. ;D ;D
The only spot that felt a bit weak was the piano break - maybe need guitar or sth there to give it some  more bite.

Good song - good performance!
Paul

Jamie

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« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2017, 12:40:36 PM »
Hi, really enjoyed this, great string opening and builds nicely. Vocals worked very well. A very confident delivery and performance.
Very good!
Cheers
Jamie

PaulAds

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« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2017, 11:59:22 AM »
Yeah...excellent stuff!

Pounds away nicely and keeps the energy levels going right to the end

Powerful lyrics and a great listen  :)

Well Done, fellas
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2017, 06:59:09 PM »
I can't do much beyond repeat what others have said. I like the beat; the words really work for me to express the emotion, the feel of the song. Yes, I'd like to hear the piano a little better. But mostly, I think it's really great.

I have two nits that have to do only with performance. One is a prosody issue: The line "to hold a torch" has reversed emphasis on the words "to hold" with "to" emphasized and "hold" held back, which is opposite to their importance in the line. The other is pronunciation: there are a lot of "chews" instead of "you's".

Don't mind me if these types of details aren't important to you. I'm obsessive about being particular about such things unless there is a good reason otherwise, but that's just me. Tons of popular artists have similar "issues", so you're in good company.

I love good dance music, and this fills the bill. I also really appreciate songs that mean something. This one is now on my playlist. :)

Vicki

Oldbutyet

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« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2017, 10:41:01 PM »
To me you have everything there but it sounds so crowded, break it up let them come in when it feel right to let them in, im hearing lead guitar shouting at the drummer "give me a gap"

Great song im just thinking out loud  8)