Louise (Summer Competition)

  • 34 Replies
  • 2778 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Martinswede

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2017, 01:59:01 PM »
Thank you Skub, Movin Flavour and PaulAds!

I don't think of my song as an on the beach track. (Sorry for the bad
Neil Young joke). More of a relaxed evening after a warm day song. When
the sun has set but there's still that twilight afterglow in the sky.
When it's so obvious that the love you feel towards the one who sits
beside you is the same love you've felt so many times before in so many
situations. That all the love that's inside you is directed to this one person.

Martin

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1975
« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2017, 11:36:38 AM »
Hi, I was fortunate to live in Sweden for a couple of years so I came to enjoy midsummer which we still celebrate every year! I also loved herring/schnapps, and August crayfish parties and of course sauna! Happy days. There was another dish I loved and I still remember which was moose Pytti panna. ( pretty sure that's not the correct spelling but I'm sure you know what I mean! :P
Good song, liked the simplicity of it though I thought the vocal was a bit pitchy but not much. Yes I got the Neil young feel too. Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3315
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2017, 02:09:51 PM »
Martin,
I like the words and sentiment.
Like the vulnerable feel of it
 :)
Neil

songwriter of no repute..

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1318
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2017, 08:05:16 PM »
I liked it Martin but agree with Darren and Adam...'the beach will never be our second home' part is your subtle, but effective chorus.....you don't need a massive chorus here. The repeated lines and the strong lyrical statement in this part is enough.

So I think you should repeat this part after the 2nd set of verses instead of the 'we're not kids any more bit' which is over the same chords I think but seems like a totally different part altogether.

The repeated lines are a good device here......you've got your chorus.....just need to employ it better....well, that's an opinion anyway!

Good lyric and good song....
Take it easy.

You can check my stuff out here. Mini-album getting bigger slowly. Free download if you're poorer than me.

Easy Life - Viscount Cramer

Oldbutyet

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 583
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2017, 08:55:28 PM »
Really really nice, the type of song that you can drift with, wonderful, find a bar and sing this live, really great   8)

Martinswede

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2017, 10:01:35 AM »
Jamie - I haven't had much moose in my days I'm afraid. Spelling
correct btw. Yes, pitch issues is kind of my mo. Thank you!

Neil C - Music aimed for summer is often too much for me. So
is most music by the way. I didn't want no Fun! Fun! Fun! coz
I'm no surfer. I wanted to say that summer is a warm and beautiful
season that reflects my emotions towards my beloved. Thanks!

C-man - No chorus songs tend to happen. Thank you!

Oldbutyet - Thank you!

Martin

digger72

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1846
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2017, 03:25:39 PM »
Hi Martin,

I've been away from the forum a while and all of the songs I've listened to since returning have been big old arrangements (and good ones to boot) - this was a lovely change of pace and mood.
Loving the vocal and stripped down delivery.

Very cool.

Digger

tina m

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2303
« Reply #22 on: June 03, 2017, 10:55:14 PM »
Listening to this I cant believe youre not American!
The simplicity of it is quite appealing & it definitely works...
I realised we got to the end of the song before I heard the title, & that was the bit that stayed in my mind afterwards ... so maybe it wouldve been better to repeat 'Louise' earlier?
If I was in love with someone I think Id be singing their name every 5 seconds :)
Tell me Im wonderful & I ll be nice to you :)

Martinswede

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2017, 09:28:54 AM »
Digga - Well I wanted it to be as simple as possible. Thank you!

Tina - Well. Somethings you just don't want to get worn out.
Thanks!

LostBoy

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 322
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2017, 10:33:09 AM »
Hi mate,
Nice melody as others have said. I really love that last line, "not even the morning can compete with you, Louise." Very nice.

If low quality recording is what you were going for, then you achieved your goal man, but I can't help but wonder if you dressed this up a bit and smoothed out the edges what this would then sound like? I'm really talking about EQ & compression, not so much adding more instruments, as I believe some songs carry themselves better when they are simple arrangements.

Thanks for sharing & goodluck in the comp mate.  ;D


Martinswede

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2017, 12:05:44 PM »
Thank you LostBoy!

I checked the recorded project on my computer
and there is no compression added to the main vocals! :)
I have no problem with a high end sound but this
time it was obvious that the better the sound,
the more of a mood track it would be. I had to
go in a different direction to make the good parts shine.

As far as the competition goes I'd say I'm happy with me
just participating. In a way I might say I even enjoyed it.

Martin
« Last Edit: June 18, 2017, 04:52:03 PM by Martinswede »

ScottLevi

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 525
  • Keep on Trucking
« Reply #26 on: June 18, 2017, 03:17:35 PM »
Hey Martin,

Love that you tried to make it sound like a phone recording in the beach, you need to book a holiday and get the real thing! Made me think of the old rockstar jibe of it taking hours to look like you just got out of bed!

Worked wonders though as I can picture you sitting on a nice rock at the beach playing this along so sweetly.

Felt very warm, lyrically and musically and relatable.

All the best,
Scott
 
Avid for competitions, collaboration and fun!
Check out Collaboration League

Jenna

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 256
« Reply #27 on: June 19, 2017, 08:18:46 AM »
Martin, I can only echo much of what's already been said above, sweet, simple, vulnerable, touching and gentle, but most of all I enjoyed that you did this with just a soft acoustic backing and nothing more. There's a lot of nakedness here - the topless girls, the stripped down (production?), the openness of a heart full of tender emotions, and it all fits together perfectly. I love Neil Young and you could be his twin vocally.

Martinswede

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 509
« Reply #28 on: June 19, 2017, 01:30:30 PM »
Thank you Scott!
My intention was to go for impression more than telling a story. Days floating
together and such.

Thank you Jenna!
For some reason Neil Young is reoccurring in my vocal timbre. The nakedness,
well that's just the Swede in me I guess.  

Jenna

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 256
« Reply #29 on: June 19, 2017, 06:29:35 PM »
 :D

I knew there was something I failed to mention! My favorite part of this is that you're addressing a stage of life we don't often hear in songs. To me, they're all about youth and beauty and sex and youth and beauty and sex, and this takes us beyond that into new territory, showing us there is positive in life beyond our youth.