[zeb wardon]

Hi guys! Im a new songwriter to the site and just wanted to share some of my work....

https://soundcloud.com/zeb_wardon92/in-motion

in my opinion the song is about the ups and downs of life...
 
Colonize, modernize, stabilize
what you see was not like before
ask those buried under the floor

what would ever pressure
foreseen erosion
the storm is here
in motion in motion
still alive
stabilized

A lifetime, special ,edition
trapped in a series of blank reruns
expectation weighs a ton

what would ever pressure
foreseen erosion
the storm is here
in motion in motion
still alive
stabilized

Catch me running upon this rocky
maiden voyage slave go round
oh the amusement   
   

[PaulyX]

Hey Zeb, some really interesting stuff going on here!  What time signature is it?  It's certainly not cliched... had no idea where it was going to go next all the way through (which is a good thing!). I dug the rhythm in particular (reminded me slightly of Badly Drawn Boy's "Once Around the Block"); your lyrics are unconventional and a couple of lines are quite arresting ("ask those buried under the floor") although I don't get a strong sense of what it is about.  You've got a characterful voice and the vocals are already decent.

[zeb wardon]

Thanks for the feedback!! 
The song is in 3\4
The song is about the highs and lows of life in general and just trying to find stability in life's journey.... if that makes sense

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Zeb and welcome to the forum.  The time signature is certainly unusual. Almost a jazz timing a la Take 5 by Dave Brubeck quartet. I liked it. Thought you had some good ideas and unique sounding vocal. Good work 

[mickyplankton]

Hi Zeb. Welcome to the forum. really like your song. the central guitar riff and rythm are well worth building a song around, and it all hangs together well. if i could be bold and make a recommendation. I think you should  re record the vocals and sing with a bit more gusto later on in the song. the vocal restraint works well at the beginning but towards the middle you want to hear those highs and lows starting coming through in the delivery.

[macker71165]

really liked this song!    badly drawn boyesk

[Paulski]

Interesting experimental track
Like pompey says reminded me of Take 5 too.
That riff carries it nicely - although I'm not sure many will remember the melody line

Enjoyed the experience!
Paul