[tone]

Here's my other new song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InoUlPhFDyM

Hope you enjoy it


Sundown

You waited till the sun went down
and said 'the darkness suits me much better now
and raising sunlight got me burned
now I can't peel away all this hurt

and I cannot wait for you to feel
what's in my way and way too real
and I can't escape from you too soon
I've seen your face, I know you.

I'm no martyr I'm not born again
not righteous or hopeful, I don't repent
and hades' circle I can't break
but I still pray forgiveness for Christ's sake

and I cannot wait for you to be judged
you took my place you took so much
and I can't escape from you too soon
I know your face, I see you'

I waited till the sun went down.

[espeach]

Hey tone

Ok, here's what i feel.

I love the Piano piece, i think it's beautiful, melodic and sorrowful.

I love the power of the chorus, that was the best part for me, not just lyricaly but the flow of the words.. powerful

I will say I felt there needed more connection between the verses and the chorus, I couldn't put my finger on it.  It might be a melody issue maybe someone else will be able to describe what i mean.  In any case it's not a massive issue..

Over all i think its good.. I wish i could compose on piano...   

[tone]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this - and glad you liked it.  I have another recording of this in the pipeline, so it will be interesting to see if that changes how people react to it.

As for composing on the piano - just sit there and play!  This was the first song I wrote on the piano, and it came to me after about a year of very regular practise and learning other bits of music and songs.  I felt I was running out of ideas on the guitar, but I'm sure I'll go back to it at some point.

[craigfaganmusic]

Hi Tone,

just listened to Sundown, A voice and a piano is something i always love to hear.

Liked the melancholy feel of it Tone, some nice chords too.
Are you selt taught? Whats the meaning behind the lyrics?

What style do you tend to write in Tone?

I enjoyed it, the feel was nice. The Piano line had an enchanting quality to it , i listened to it a few times and got drawn in.

off to listen to your other one!

I take it Tone is not your real name?!

[tone]

Hi Craig

Thanks for your comments - I'll try to answer your questions now:

Self taught, yes - I'm primarily a guitarist, but I love the piano, I can't help but play it every day.

The lyrics are about a difficult relationship and power struggle between two people very close to me.

Do I have a style?  I don't know... I probably have 2 styles - one that happens on the guitar and one that happens on the piano.  My main concern is melody, harmony and phrasing though.  A nice combination of all three is a song worth writing in my book.

Tone is my 'real' name!  It's an abbreviation of Anthony, and it suits my musical persona quite well I think

[lightspeed182]

hey tone,

nice tune. very willowy. nice bridge and return. nice to see you sticking tunes on.

steve

[craigfaganmusic]

Hi Tone, you inspired me to create my own wee you tube ditties!

http://www.youtube.com/craigfaganmusic

Going to add loads more piano and acoustic versions of the songs from my website, they are a little rough tho - i aim to improve them.

Do you have a you tube channel yourself?

hope you are well

Craig

[tone]

Hi Craig
It's great that you're going to do some acoustic versions of your songs. I'll subscribe to your channel and keep an eye on what you're doing.

My channel is youtube.com/anthonylanemusic

See you there!

Tone

[Dutchbeat]

very good songwriting

thanks for this!

[CapoDon]

Really enjoyed that.  A genuinely quality piece of songwriting.  Reminds me a little of nick drake, and some of belle & sebastian's more mellow stuff, just the mood of it - it's got a real atmosphere to it. 

Sorry I know I'm meant to give some kind of critique but I don't know much about the technical aspects of music.  That was very good though.

[Dutchbeat]

a very, very nice song, Tone!
and a very live performance

I listened to the song earlier on aucadia.com. the songs grows when listening to it more (a good sign)

again, I want to let you know how much i appreciate this site you are running!

[tone]

Dutchbeat, you're more than welcome.  I appreciate the people who contribute to this forum, after all, it's the members that make a community, not the creator.

Glad you like the song, and very glad also that it's grown on you.  I always think my songs take a couple of listens before they start to sink in.

[Dutchbeat]

Tone,

i just visited your you tube channel, and listened to army of secrets: that is a great song
a very complete song

army of secrets reminds me of James Blunt and some of the piano songs of Chris de Burgh (for instance: no borderline). If you might hate Chis de Burgh (I am sure many at the forum will) i mean it as a compliment, for instance the pianosong "the head and the heart" of Chris de Burgh is very good in my opinion.

I was wondering whether your piano songs (well, I only know sundown and army of secrets by now) shouldn't be even more complete and finished with a sort of arrangement like that one, I mean adding strings towards the end to make the song fuller and increase the emotion even more towards the end (and perhaps some percussion / cymbals towards the ending)

I know I sound old fashioned...well I am... as far these things are concerned, but I would like things like that added to these two songs (just my opinion). Do you have other versions of these songs, or do you make all your songs like this? I mean, write and work on them and then record them in one take in your kitchen?

[tone]

I tend to avoid trying to make complete recordings simply because I am not a very talented recording engineer...  I would like to add strings to these songs, but aside from being able to afford a proper studio, my ideal scenario would be to have a few string players visit my house and make a live recording with eveyone playing their part.  Maybe overdub a couple of harmonies later. 

I know recording is an art form in itself, but I also think it's important to capture a good performance if you're going to record something (something I wasn't focusing on for these two songs - I literally set up the mic and played them just so I could show them to friends).

If you listen to my guitar based songs on aucadia (I'm a much better guitarist than I am pianist) you'll hear that I tend to add in the instrumental sections with just the guitar or perhaps overdub a piano.

Also I think it's worth mentioning that much of my favourite music to listen to is very stripped down and acoustic, so I'm in the habit of doing this with my own songs, limitations aside.  I am definitely a fan of the 'less is more' approach. That's not to say that strings can add much needed dynamics to a song; I would just use them sparingly...

A friend on Aucadia is going to overdub some cello on my song 'the crescent' so when I get that back I'll post it up and you can see what you think.

Thanks for your comments

[Schavuitje]

Just listened to this song and really enjoyed it. Personally I don't see any problem between verse and chorus. They fit together really well. I especially enjoyed the instrumental bridge toward the end of the song. Thought your choice of melody was spot on.
I think some songs suit the minimalistic approach ( i.e. just piano and vocals ) and this song falls into this category... Although, purely a tatse thing, I would tend to go with what Dutchbeat said. All the way through the song - in my mind - I was building the tension with strings and a kind of mellow, fretless bass.
I'm going to go have a listen to some more of your compositions because I think you certainly have some talent