[Paulski]

Sort of driven by influences of Edgar Guest (Tomorrow) and Billy Joel (We Didn't Start the Fire)
Comments/suggs welcome

Tomorrow Man
Copyright © 2017 Tennyson Road Music

There's always time to run amock
Never time to clean it up
Streams are cesspools, trees are stumps
EPA ! Donald Trump !
Liquid waste, toxic fumes
Floating 'round our living rooms
But if ever things get out of hand
Remember there's "Tomorrow Man"!

Tomorrow Man
He'll understand
Tomorrow Man
He'll make a plan
Why deal with what Today demands?
Just leave it for tomorrow, man!

Borrow money, grab some cash
Tomorrow Man will pay it back!
Pile your garbage ten feet high
Tomorrow Man will make it right!
To hell with peace, let's start a war
Tomorrow Man will get it sorted
And when this planet goes to trash
We all know who'll save its ass:

Tomorrow Man
He'll understand
Tomorrow Man
He'll have a plan
Why deal with what Today demands?
No, leave it for tomorrow, man!

{br}
Tomorrow Man is waiting 'round the bend
He'll solve all of our problems, he's our friend
They say he lives primarily to help the cause
Next door to the Tooth Fairy and good ol' Santa Claus!
So we'll never have to fuss!
Because...

Tomorrow Man
He'll understand
Tomorrow Man
He'll make a plan
So leave that mess, don't soil your hands
It's a perfect task for tomorrow, man!

[Darren1664]

Haha love it! That poor ol' tomorrow man has a lot on his plate. Good lyrics mate 

[finestrat]

Lyrics spot on, I almost fitted it perfectly into we didn't light the fire but probably only because you mentioned it.

[Paulski]

Thanks Darren and finestrat

Yeah Tomorrow Man's going to be a busy chap based on how we're operating these days.

[hardtwistmusic]

Beautiful.   I was drawn to the title before I even knew the subject.  Very well done. 

I'm guessing that Canadians are as worried as we (Americans) are. 

Loved the reference to war.  Dunno if the latest Korean threats from Trump were figured in, but many people here are worried.  Two crazy people in charge is the "critical mass" that we ought to fear.  And Trump and Jong are both awfully close to meeting that criteria.

[Mike67]

Clever idea and really well written, as one might expect.

Mike

[CaliaMoko]

Hi Paul,

I have a few thoughts. I've been trying to get more into stable/unstable techniques. Not super successfully. For some reason, it's easier to mess with other people's lyrics than do a good job on my own. 

Anyway, this is clearly an unstable theme, but it is so smooth and even with a lot of perfect rhymes (not all, though, so good there). It's a little too "pretty" for such an unstable theme.

Next...looking at one line in the first verse: "But if things get too much to stand". This is probably just me, but there's something about it.... Another idea could be "...too out of hand". You can just think of that as an alternative, because I can't really think of a good reason to give you why the line should be changed.

I love the "tomorrow man" idea! It's really absolutely perfect.

Oh, one more line, toward the end:
"So we'll never has to fuss!" Did you mean "So we'll never have to fuss" Or am I not getting it??

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I think this will be one of your best ever.

Vicki

[Paulski]

Beautiful.   I was drawn to the title before I even knew the subject.  Very well done. 

I'm guessing that Canadians are as worried as we (Americans) are. 

Loved the reference to war.  Dunno if the latest Korean threats from Trump were figured in, but many people here are worried.  Two crazy people in charge is the "critical mass" that we ought to fear.  And Trump and Jong are both awfully close to meeting that criteria.

Hi Verlon
It's interesting that just yesterday I watched a TV program that claimed that protest/political songs get a resurgence every time there is a Republican party in power. I think it's more global than that - seems there is a war storm brewing...
Thanks for the kind review 
Paul

[Paulski]

Clever idea and really well written, as one might expect.

Mike

Cheers Mike - glad you liked it 

Paul

[Paulski]

Hi Paul,

I have a few thoughts. I've been trying to get more into stable/unstable techniques. Not super successfully. For some reason, it's easier to mess with other people's lyrics than do a good job on my own. 

Anyway, this is clearly an unstable theme, but it is so smooth and even with a lot of perfect rhymes (not all, though, so good there). It's a little too "pretty" for such an unstable theme.

Next...looking at one line in the first verse: "But if things get too much to stand". This is probably just me, but there's something about it.... Another idea could be "...too out of hand". You can just think of that as an alternative, because I can't really think of a good reason to give you why the line should be changed.

I love the "tomorrow man" idea! It's really absolutely perfect.

Oh, one more line, toward the end:
"So we'll never has to fuss!" Did you mean "So we'll never have to fuss" Or am I not getting it??

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I think this will be one of your best ever.

Vicki

Hi Vicki

Great points - and good catch on the typo - now fixed.
I think your idea on the "too much to stand" line is better so, with your permission I'll use it. The words "much to" are hard to annunciate properly plus your idea prompted "ever" which has nice assonance with "remember". I am curious as to why you would call this an unstable theme. It's a bit nursery-rhymish (which I am sometimes accused of being). Not that I care if it's called unstable - just wondering what that means..
Thanks for the help!
Paul

[CaliaMoko]

The stable/unstable concept is one I learned when I took the online songwriting course by Pat Pattison. My understanding is that a stable theme is one in which everyone is happy, everything is going well, and all is right with the world. An unstable theme is one in which things are not going so well and expresses sadness, grief, anger, trouble, war, death, lost love, and so forth.

Unstable themes feature things like irregular line lengths and numbers of lines as well as imperfect rhymes (the more distant the rhyme, the more unstable the theme). Stable themes feature even line lengths and numbers of lines, consistent rhythms and perfect rhymes.

I think (I don't remember for sure) that stability would also be evidenced by more perfect matching of rhythms and strong beats with the flow of the words as spoken, while instability might feature rhythms and strong beats that are at odds with the way words are spoken. For myself, however, I usually wouldn't want put strong words on weak beats or vice versa. I say "usually" because I have done it.

I believe production and performance choices could also be applied to the stable/unstable feel or mood of a song, but we didn't get into that area.

I know songwriting is primarily about the art of putting words and melodies together, but I really like exploring the technical side of it.

[Paulski]

The stable/unstable concept is one I learned when I took the online songwriting course by Pat Pattison. My understanding is that a stable theme is one in which everyone is happy, everything is going well, and all is right with the world. An unstable theme is one in which things are not going so well and expresses sadness, grief, anger, trouble, war, death, lost love, and so forth.

Unstable themes feature things like irregular line lengths and numbers of lines as well as imperfect rhymes (the more distant the rhyme, the more unstable the theme). Stable themes feature even line lengths and numbers of lines, consistent rhythms and perfect rhymes.

I think (I don't remember for sure) that stability would also be evidenced by more perfect matching of rhythms and strong beats with the flow of the words as spoken, while instability might feature rhythms and strong beats that are at odds with the way words are spoken. For myself, however, I usually wouldn't want put strong words on weak beats or vice versa. I say "usually" because I have done it.

I believe production and performance choices could also be applied to the stable/unstable feel or mood of a song, but we didn't get into that area.

I know songwriting is primarily about the art of putting words and melodies together, but I really like exploring the technical side of it.

Hmm.. interesting - but where does "tongue in cheek" fit into that model? Or sarcasm for that matter? 

[PaulAds]

very good lyric, Paulski

you always seem such a pleasant and polite chap - i find it hard to think you'd ever get REALLY annoyed by anything...

Tomorrow Man sounds a lot like what Yesterday Man promised he would be 

[CaliaMoko]

Tongue-in-cheek? Sarcasm? Hmmm...I don't remember those being addressed in the course. It was only 6 weeks. One of these days maybe I'll do some research on that.

[JonDavies]

"There's always time to run amock
Never time to clean it up"

What an opening

You know what reading this I could easily put quotation marks at the start and at the end and say "yeah I really like this bit"

Great right