[Mono Stone]

Quick sketch of a song idea, written and recorded yesterday afternoon. Didn't have much time so maybe it's just part of an idea, I dunno...

I'm not sure what I'll do with it...keep it so simple? Add to it? New parts? I've not decided...I just felt like I caught a nice vibe. (Btw, the birds are on the guitar recording, they were just outside my window...didn't add them as sound effect).

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/distant-cars03/s-IO7C4

Words so far

Evenings cold
On the stone
With my feet
In the road
 
Counting hours
Wanting more
Counting hours
 
 
It’s a dream for the few
Close my eyes to the truth
 
It won’t be long
Until the night
It won’t be long
 
Feel it in the sound
Of distant cars
The empty roads cold
Waiting for
 
Golden lights
Golden lights
 
Arms open wide
Hope through fear
All those years behind the tears
 
Let’s go home
Let’s go home

[JonDavies]

I love the guitar line on this

I do think it needs a contrasting section though, maybe find some way of picking up the pace without taking away from the eerie vibe

[Mike67]

I really like this. If you didn't want to add to the structure, perhaps a female harmony on the last section would work well. Beautiful guitar and melody. Keep it this simple.

Mike

[CaliaMoko]

This is lovely, and I agree with keeping it simple AND I agree it needs something for contrast in the middle somewhere. Besides the idea of female vocals, you could try very simple percussion and/or a descant style flute or something similar.

Other than "fattening it up" a little with simple additions, I have no nits for this. I like it quite a lot. Good one!

Vicki

[Martinswede]

Hi!

Your song is nice and dreamy. Reminds me of driving in the
early dawn on the country side. I think the lyrics could do
with a bit more work. The part

Counting hours
Wanting more
Counting hours

does very little to the song in my opinion.
On the other hand

Arms open wide
Hope through fear

is brilliant.

Mm some contrast maybe. Harmonies?
Strings? I have very little experience in the field.
Wouldn't want anything to break the spell.
No, something that adds to it.

Nice work!

- Martin

[Mono Stone]

Thanks everyone.

I'd spent the day trying to think of a melody for a different song... gave up... and just came up with this new idea at the last minute, so it's all quite raw...just came out that way very quickly, other than the synthy stringy type background stuff I added after (which began as an attempt to bring strings in but they seemed to kill the atmosphere so I made them into more ambient sounds).

I agree it needs a change or else it repeats too much (unless I cut it very short). I'll experiment

Thanks for all your feedback and suggestions!

Cheers,

Dek

[Wicked Deeds]

It,s beautiful!  Fine vocals and lovely guitars!

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Funny...I had the lyrics up as I was listening and you ran through the lot well before the end of the song so i wondered where you were going to pick it back up again and what you were going to do with the rest of it in fact....I went for 'it won't be long'....so I was wrong which seems obvious now that I've had time to 'see' all the parts. 'It won't be long' is the obvious end line.

Great sound to the song, nice lyric and the way you structured that repeated lyric works fine...but I might title it 'It won't be long'. For me this is the hookiest bit of lyric....might feature it more...but I am a dull-minded sort of fellow. Distant Cars is a good title but a bit abstract for me.

I think you will want to add to it in some way...I don't know what either....may not even be much but you know, I'm sure, that it will benefit from something. If you're anything like me you will play it to death trying to get inspired as to what it needs. This is what you do need to do though I think to get an arrangement. Sometimes my perfect thing (though it might not actually be the perfect thing!) comes to me while not actually listening to the song apart from it running through my head.

It sounds great as it is but a little extra ingredient or two will add to the taste (if it's the right one!)

[Mono Stone]

It,s beautiful!  Fine vocals and lovely guitars!

Funny...I had the lyrics up as I was listening and you ran through the lot well before the end of the song so i wondered where you were going to pick it back up again and what you were going to do with the rest of it in fact....I went for 'it won't be long'....so I was wrong which seems obvious now that I've had time to 'see' all the parts. 'It won't be long' is the obvious end line.

Great sound to the song, nice lyric and the way you structured that repeated lyric works fine...but I might title it 'It won't be long'. For me this is the hookiest bit of lyric....might feature it more...but I am a dull-minded sort of fellow. Distant Cars is a good title but a bit abstract for me.

I think you will want to add to it in some way...I don't know what either....may not even be much but you know, I'm sure, that it will benefit from something. If you're anything like me you will play it to death trying to get inspired as to what it needs. This is what you do need to do though I think to get an arrangement. Sometimes my perfect thing (though it might not actually be the perfect thing!) comes to me while not actually listening to the song apart from it running through my head.

It sounds great as it is but a little extra ingredient or two will add to the taste (if it's the right one!)

Thank you, I've updated the track on Soundcloud. A new version with a new part. Please let me know whether or not you think it works?

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/distant-cars03/s-IO7C4

[mikek]

i like this a lot.  very dreamy.  i love the swells and quiet drone of the whole thing.  i wouldn't add more to it, if you do decide to include another element, i think it would be interesting to find a suitable point midway and strip it down even farther.  bare bones elements.  its really cool.  nice work.

[JoaquinAnton]

Hi,

Beautiful track! The kind of music that makes you travel somewhere . I reckon I am listening to the updated version of it. The quality is top notch .

I only have one comment. Around the minute 1:50 you add a new instrument and the vocals get lost in the mix. I think a little more volume on the vocals in that part will help.

Cheers,
Joaquin

[Deadwood]

Really like it. Great first effort.

I'm a cellist and could imagine something like that might add a bit to it but to be honest I think it works well as it is. Dreamy!

[Mono Stone]

i like this a lot.  very dreamy.  i love the swells and quiet drone of the whole thing.  i wouldn't add more to it, if you do decide to include another element, i think it would be interesting to find a suitable point midway and strip it down even farther.  bare bones elements.  its really cool.  nice work.

Thank you. I thought I'd replied to you already but can't see my reply...maybe I didn't hit send. Anyway, thanks I really appreciate it. I have updated the track yet again since (added bass and some tweaks)

Hi,

Beautiful track! The kind of music that makes you travel somewhere . I reckon I am listening to the updated version of it. The quality is top notch .

I only have one comment. Around the minute 1:50 you add a new instrument and the vocals get lost in the mix. I think a little more volume on the vocals in that part will help.

Cheers,
Joaquin

Thank you! I'm not sure which version you've heard. I have updated it again today with some bass, and also tweaked the vocal level and compression. I hope that's helped but maybe I still need more vocal volume on the 'bridge' (if it is a bridge).

Really like it. Great first effort.

I'm a cellist and could imagine something like that might add a bit to it but to be honest I think it works well as it is. Dreamy!

Thank you! What you heard is likely V2. I've updated again today with a third version (added bass and tweaks). I like cello.... I'd love to get a real one on some of my tracks so please shout me if interested. (actually a cello might have worked better than a bass guitar on this...not sure...)

Thanks again all!

Dek

[Deadwood]

Hi Dek. I'd welcome the opportunity to provide some cello on one or more of your tracks. If you have a song that you'd particularly like to try it out, feel free to email me the track and I can send back some ideas. ed@olhausen.co.uk

Thanks

Ed