[11]

                         ---FAMILY---

(V1).
People Of The World, Can't U See...
We Are All One, Big, Family...
Few Are Good, Most Are Bad...
That Makes God, Really, Sad...

(Ch).
Oh... Can't U See...
That... U & Me...
Are, Family...

(V2).
What's... Is Wrong, With U & Me...
There's Something Wrong, Can't U See...
Where's The Love, For Family...
There's Too Much Hate, Don't U Agree?...

(Ch).
Oh... Can't U See...
That... U & Me...
Are, Family...

(Mid8).X2.

(V3).
Gods Kingdom, Will Help Us Be...
A Big, United... Family...
If We Try Our Best, Then We Will See...
A Big, Loving, Family...

(Ch).
Oh... Can't U See...
That... U & Me...
Are, Family...

(E/s).
Are, Fa-mi-ly...
Are, Fa-mi-ly...
Are, Fa-mi-ly...


The End.

https://www.facebook.com/M.D.Music.Page/posts/1242899312414420

[CaliaMoko]

I know I'm a super picky, um, nitpicker...but my OCD compells me to point out:

1. You already posted this once before as a WIP.
2. Fewer than half of your posts are feedback. Maybe even fewer than a third, but I'm not quite OCD enough to count them and calculate the ratio.

About the song, I will comment on what I noticed quickly. Keep in mind this is just my opinion. The melody of the verse is too repetitive; I'd like a little more variation to it.

I really like the "we are family" theme, but I don't agree that most people are bad. Misled, though, maybe.

I'm not sure about the "kingdom of God" bit. It doesn't quite seem to fit the rest of the song. To me, anyway. I'm all in favor of divine influence in life, but I think it's subtle and I'd like to see reference to it be a little more subtle, too, I guess. I'm not sure. It just seems too "in your face" all of a sudden.

Still, though, it's a pretty song, and will come more alive with some development and building of the accompaniment.

Vicki

[11]

Well not sure if ur figures are correct...
I have more feedback posted on here... on members songs than my own posts...

The song is what it is.. a song...
For ur 1 negative, comment ive had plenty of positive...
The songs guided at... we are all a family on this planet we call home...
Sorry to disagree with ur view of mankind but, history shows
Who are Bad... & good...
As for Gods Kingdom well its the Only Governent we havent tried...
So time will tell...
As for will it work.. just 2 comandments out the Bible
Would solve Most of mankinds problems if they all applied them
& theres still another 611 comandments left...

But people are to busy to even look...


Anyways just thought i would point that out...

Well thx for ur feedback... cause i dont get much...
So thx for it

[CaliaMoko]

Well not sure if ur figures are correct...
I have more feedback posted on here... on members songs than my own posts...

Yeah, I'd have to count them all to be sure and at least you're giving some feedback, which is certainly better than the "drive by posters" to post a song for feedback and then never post another thing. Last year we had an unusual poster who posted lyrics every day or every couple days. Never said another thing ever. No explanation, no thank you for any feedback, no indication s/he even saw our feedback. You're way better than that, so I really shouldn't whine.

Well thx for ur feedback... cause i dont get much...
So thx for it

You're welcome. And like I said, it is a pretty song and I like the theme. I hope you'll have the chance to build the accompaniment to it.

Vicki

[Mike67]

I actually liked the song better than I liked the lyrics, but they did work well with the melody.  I think there's a lot you could do with the arrangement, but it's one I think you'd want to keep simple. Guitar was very effective, and what a vocal. Sooo pretty.

We'll done

Mike

[11]

Thx Mike

Yeah Simple is Best I think with my singer...
She's good... she does opra, Blues, Eric even on radio
Many times... last I think she was doing Blues songs on BBC2 Radio
For 3 wks... if anything some piano & violin & some harmonies
To dress it up.. but I really like the Simple version
Guitar & Vocal...

[11]

Hi Vicky.

Well I try & get on When I can...
Just been crazy my parrot took very ill nearly died...
So I've had a good wee trek trying to get him back on his perch...
He's doing better...
I am not one for just posting & not giving back...
I always try & help if I can... I am just a Guy who likes to write & play guitar...
& creating Songs I love.. doing...

I am not expecting lots of feedback... far from it...
But what I get is appreciated... no matter negitive or positive
Sorry for my earlier reply...

I feel this world is a dam mess & mankind could do a lot better...
& I feel very strongly about it...
I am a Ordained Minister for over 20 years...
So I have my view on things... & Have been Helping people..
Build their life's again after... trials... etc...
Anyways I thank u for ur feedback & will do my best to buyout time...
To comment on other members work...

[CaliaMoko]

...Sorry for my earlier reply...

No worries. I'm pretty mellow and really didn't mean to come across snarky.

I'm glad your parrot is doing better. I once had a canary. Nothing like a parrot. Actually, I think I had a cockatiel once. That's closer. I had a beebee parrot once, too, so there you are. Although they're kinda more like parakeets....

[11]

Yup crazy wee critters lol