[Skub]

The new version is much improved to my ears LAQ,right up until the chorus 'Could I waste a moment of your time',then the vocals once again overwhelm the guitar and are quite fierce. The guitar and vocal tracks seem to be separate entities and not integrated,or working together. I'm not sure why this is,maybe a combination of EQ and reverb?

The update is edging closer to the intimacy the song requires,but it needs just that little bit more. Ask Boydie,he will be able to articulate and target what I'm dribbling on about.

I know the song is important to ya man,I can hear that and it deserves more work.

[LAquila]

Its intriguing following your private life in these songs of yours but I hope your lady friend is ok with us all knowing everything? 
Anyway, very poetic lyrics & I love the message , strong melody aswell...
I know you say youve tweaked it but ive still never heard a love song sound quite so aggressive?
On your last song I obviously mistook that sound to mean violent intentions 

Ah, no, she probably wouldn't be. But I'm (still) anonymous here, more or less, so it's probably ok. Having said that, she's very keen for me to pursue my own path while she sorts out hers...hence my constant angst and frustration (which is what you always seem to get served up from me in verse). We're songwriters, all of us, and I know you understand.

Yeah, it's still a little aggressive in places. I really need to learn how to tone that side of things down.

Cheers Tina,
L

[LAquila]

This is my favourite of yours so far. I want to learn this one and use it to serenade somebody... would you mind?

I wouldn't mind at all, Ray. Be my guest! Can you work out the chords - I'm quite sure you can If not, PM me either here or on Soundcloud and I'll send you the songsheet.

Top marks for melody and lyrics, again. I'm in the camp that says 'could I waste a moment of your time' is a brilliant line.

Thank you so much.

The production: I'm hearing the tweaked version it seems, I think this is better done than your previous efforts, although I agree with Adam and Steng - a raw version of your vocal might not be the absolute best thing to use, but if we could hear it, maybe some people here could help you enhance it in a more natural-sounding way?
A small thing that I wasn't too fond of was the way you fade out slightly on the word 'life' - might be just me. And it's a nitpick, I'm very fond of this song.

Yup, once again, back to the drawing board. And good idea: I'll post another version with no effects at all.

Cheers,
L

[LAquila]

The new version is much improved to my ears LAQ,right up until the chorus 'Could I waste a moment of your time',then the vocals once again overwhelm the guitar and are quite fierce. The guitar and vocal tracks seem to be separate entities and not integrated,or working together. I'm not sure why this is,maybe a combination of EQ and reverb?

The update is edging closer to the intimacy the song requires,but it needs just that little bit more. Ask Boydie,he will be able to articulate and target what I'm dribbling on about.

I know the song is important to ya man,I can hear that and it deserves more work.

Thanks Dave. I've retweaked it once more tonight, turning down the eq in the chorus and removing one of the vocal tracks in the hope that'll take out some of the aggressiveness that you and Tina both noted.

Trouble is, I just can't sing quietly, LOL.

So important, man.

Cheers,
L

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Very good L'Aquila. I like the title a lot. Good lyric

The song is nicely structured with some good changes and melodies. Only thing I'd do differently is not have such a long break between first and second verse....song's only just started...we don't need a break yet.

Vocal had me jumping out of my skin a bit especially those punches towards the end.

Good song!