[delb0y]

Well there I was supposedly practicing the guitar when a couplet entered my mind and it seemed unfair to just leave it hanging so I pulled it down and applied melody # 4 to it and here's the results. It's a standard Delboy 12 bar blues but hey ho. Probably needs a lot more instrumentation to make it fly.

Tail-Lights

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13535663

I have to tell you babe that you caught me by surprise
I've got to tell you baby that you caught me by surprise
You left perfume on my pillow and tail-lights in my eyes

I'll be leaving in the morning on an overnight run
Leaving in the morning on an overnight run
When I get home I know the leaving's already been done

There will come a day when the sun will not rise
Yeah, there will come a morning when the sun will not rise
You left scratches on my back and tail-lights in my eyes

I thought that we would make it all the way
You and I until our dying day
It's my dying day

Tattoo on my arm and a tattoo on my heart
I have a tattoo on my arm and another on my heart
The ink will never fade but my flesh is torn apart

I could forgive you darling, my tears would wash away your lies
I could forgive you darling, my tears would wash away your lies
But you left "Goodbye" on the mirror and tail-lights in my eyes
But you left heartbreak in the mirror and tail-lights in my eyes
But you left lipstick on the mirror and tail-lights in my eyes

[Bernd]

Solid lyrics writing. The musical Bob Dylan citation in the bridge (it's all over now, baby blue) might be made more obvious by adapting the lyrics so it wouldn't seem like a plagiarism.

Good one!

Bernd

[kevysc]

This has a strong authentic feeling, the stripped down arrangement works well and the lyrics are solid.

A couple of suggestions:

1. I would consider eliminating the third verse: it feels like  you should get to the change in chords sooner and I'm not sure the lyrics of this verse add much (although I like the "scratches line!)

2. I would consider changing the second "it's my dying day" to "I think I died today" ( or "feels like I died today).

Enjoyed the listen, thanks

Kevin

[Outss]

a nice and chilled out song.. very relaxing. The lyrics are good and convey the subject matter very well. Tail-lights in my eyes'.. Very interesting imagery, almost like you've been given trust issues after a breakup with whomever you look at .. lol well that's how I interpreted it anyway. Keep it up peace

Outss

[shadowfax]

Good title..good song..bit more instrumentation would be nice but, hey..ok as is..

[IronKnee]

A very nice, sobering piece. Very heart felt and wonderfully engaging,
Good stuff, Derek.
Love the guitar and voice....lyrics are a beautiful marriage. This would be a 1+1 hit at any coffee shop or stage 
                                                              -Tom

[CaliaMoko]

I was struck by the "tail-lights in my eyes" line...seems brilliant to me.

Normally, I might suggest changing the rhythm of "I could forgive you darling", because that phrase would typically be emphasized on "I" and "give"...BUT, it comes across--to me, at least, like you're emphasizing "COULD" because you're saying you COULD forgive IF she would come back. So, it works for me the way it is.

Good lyric all the way through. No nits from me.

Vicki

[adamfarr]

12 bar melody #4 may not be most original ever - but what we do have is simple and effective telling of a story! I really like the tail-lights parts, especially the last repeated section.

[PTCruiser1801]

Delboy,

The singing on this track is excellent...really soulful and full of feeling! Great stuff!!

I love the rhythm of this song...really easy-listening, my kind of music!

Thanks for sharing...love the title too!

Paul

[Jamie]

Hi, this wouldn't normally be my 'thing'.But, I really enjoyed it, the vocals were delicate and emotive, the lyric was original and the song was nicely structured and delivered. My only 'slightly' negative comment would be that it's  shouting out for a subtle instrumental arrangement to build and add to the pathos. As I said, not normally my thing, but I enjoyed it! Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[ScottLevi]

I pulled it down and applied melody # 4

Haha make it seem so effortless, guess that's what lots of practice gets you!

Picking is sounding real good btw and nice to get a glimpse into your practice routine, sure you'll stumble across plenty more combinations along the way begging to be 'pulled down' and I'm looking forward to it.

Great lyrics as per and I do enjoy the more delicate vocals in this one particularly, definitely a strength and is in harmony with the picking.

All the best,
Scott

[Paulski]

Great hook - good lyrics, good pickin and vocals - what else could we ask for?
Well, maybe a fiddle soloing in the background.

Enjoyed this laid back tune 
Paul

[Steng]

Hey Delboy,

I love it just like it is. It's another that reminds me of Nebraska. Really nice guitar, so subtle in places, so quiet, but every note can be heard. Out of interest, how have you recorded that guitar, straight into an interface or with a mic?

Nice one

Steng

[delb0y]

Many thanks to all who have listened and commented - as always, it's much appreciated. Couple of additional responses below:

Bernd - yes, on reflection the bridge is too close to Dylan. I wasn't planning on writing a song and having got 80% of it done I was anxious to finish it, record it, and get back to the guitar. I will probably change it to something a little less plagiaristic.

Steng - the guitar was recorded on a Samson USB mic (a very cheap one) which was plugged straight into the PC. The mic was pretty close to the guitar and then I did a couple of very laid back overdubs which I panned hard left and right and turned very low - just to give a hint of something in the wings.

Cheers
Derek

[Royston]

I have always enjoyed acoustic songs and this is no exception liked the lyrical content good all round performance for me.

Cheers

Royston