This Is Love

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Wicked Deeds

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« on: February 23, 2017, 02:13:03 PM »
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/this-is-love

bass and drums removed - undergoing a rework.

I've been meaning to record this for a little while.  I guess the question is should I record more instruments or is it complete?  Perhaps drums and bass?  

Written for Linda.


This Is Love

Beautiful lady, stay safe in my arms.
Love will surround you, that's part of it's charm.
Say, let's go dancing. You know, I won't  hide.
I'm proud to be be with you, alone, by your side.

Look to the future. The past has now gone.
We stand in the middle. Know that you're the one.
I didn't think that I'd ever be free.
We're learning to quick-step, you're dancing with me.

People show their feelings.
Sometimes, in fear.
I've come to hold you,
to love you my dear

This is love, love,
this is love, love
This is love, love
this is love.

You ask for the reasons. I tell you, it's plain.
Love is the master of every domain.
It lives in the fabric of all that we do.
Observing our feelings as hearts beat anew.

People show their feelings.
Sometimes, in fear.
I've come to hold you,
To love you my dear

This is love, love,
this is love, love,
This is love, love,
this is love..

Let our hearts now entwine.

This is love.

Written by Paul Vasey (c)

« Last Edit: February 26, 2017, 10:02:55 PM by Wicked Deeds »

Mike67

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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2017, 12:08:36 PM »
Hi Paul,

Beautiful song.  I think some simple percussion would work well - simple high hat and snare perhaps - but not too much.  I think some bass would also work well, but simple, perhaps with some higher octave base line flourishes between phrases here and there.

Mike

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2017, 04:54:44 PM »
I'm no expert with production, so I can't be too helpful, but, in my opinion, you need to build the sound more so it gets stronger for the second verse. And again for the second chorus. I suggest hitting the first half of the second chorus much harder and maybe back off again gradually for the second half and then go all the way to minimal for the final "This is love", maybe even repeating it.

The melody is beautiful and suits the words wonderfully. When I read the lyric alone, it didn't feel really strong to me but, in the context of the melody, I like it much better.

I get the feeling you're holding back with your vocal in an attempt to set the mood. As a result, your vocal is on the weak side. I think it's possible to sing with more intensity without losing the vulnerable sound by using more breath support while singing at the same low volume.

In the first verse, I have a nit with your pronunciation of "surround you". You've run them together and made them sound mushy; I'd like to hear them clearly enunciated, especially in this song.

In this line: We stand in the middle. Know that you're the one
the word "know" is on a weak beat followed by the word "that" on the strong beat. The word "know" is much more important than the word "that", therefore should not be overshadowed by it this way. There is more than one way to fix this--you could try singing "I know you're the one" which would do it easily. You could also sing "Know that you are the one", keeping both "know" and "that" BEFORE the strong beat and making "you" the important word. But I believe it's very important to showcase the important words, not the unimportant words.
 
At the risk of being repetitious, when you get to the second verse, I'd like to hear your voice building, along with the instrumentation, gradually throughout the second verse and first half of second chorus.

This is all based on my opinions, of course, so use anything that speaks to you and discard the rest. I'm especially not qualified to make production recommendations, although you can see I did so, anyway.  ;D I do hope you'll consider working on the prosody of the "Know that you're the one" line, though.

Beautiful work, very heartfelt interpretation.

Vicki

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2017, 06:14:57 PM »
Hey Mike, this has been a real headache in the production department and is only now beginning to take shape.  I'm so pleased that you consider the song aspect to be beautiful.  

Thanks

Paul

Hey Vicki,

thank you for your detailed review. :-)  This has been a strange song for me to work with.  I always felt it had something that was quite special.  I think that is the sentiment that it carries.  It's a genuine song of love.  I didn't really know how to approach the production of this.  I think if I hadn't had a break from writing and producing music in recent years, it would have been business as usual and I would have nailed it quickly.  Coupled with my struggles working with the latest version of Logic Pro, it was presenting a little bit of  a headache.  I've been working tirelessly with this throughout yesterday, The song has had drums and bass and then I shelved the idea again.  I'm adding production as I go, and reposting.  I'm simply updating the previous link as I don't want too many to appear on the thread. I'm just starting to think that the production is beginning take shape.  I guess this will slowly turn into quite a big project which wasn't really my initial idea.  In it's most basic acoustic format, I think the structure is a little unbalanced but I now feel that this will work as I further produce.  I think that your spot on about building this song as it progresses.  To do that I will have to add more instrumentation at the appropriate times.  I might add classical guitar that I will play live and perhaps horns, but only in a very subtle way.  The direction of the drums is anyone's guess.  It might be a straight forward drum kit or orchestral style percussion, timpani triangle and other appropriate percussion that I experiment with.  
When all of that is complete, I will perhaps add glockenspiel, an instrument that I am very fond of.  I guess that this one will get the kitchen sink treatment.  :)  Finally, I'll redo the vocal and keep in mind your suggestions to hopefully enhance this further.  I've already added backing vocals then removed them again. They will eventually make an appearance.  

Today, I  was questioning why I go to such lengths with the production as I never promote my work.  My partner Linda has a great deal to say about my lack of interest in promoting.  I guess my life is a little complicated.  Maybe when I eventually move to live with Linda in her home town, I'll settle and redefine my goals and aspirations.  :-)

thank you for your kind and considered review.

Paul
« Last Edit: February 24, 2017, 06:25:09 PM by Wicked Deeds »

Martinswede

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« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2017, 01:50:56 PM »
Hi Paul!

Your song is pretty much complete and I understand your focus
on the latter part. Production.
I agree with Vicki that there could be a more defined dynamic
progression in the arrangement. Intense / subtle.
My major concern is the instrumentation. But first of all
you got a great guitar sound. So rich.
To the left I hear strings which have a lot of(too much) treble
and in my opinion sound very synthetic. To the right I hear
what sounds like a harp, maybe piano, that lacks treble but has
a lot of mid range. In the middle is guitar (great!), piano (good) and
vocals. The vocals are very treble heavy. Reduce it a lot is my suggestion.

Now to the arrangement. Technology has given us endless of opportunities
to shape our final product. This can be, and is, overwhelming. Adding
because it's possible doesn't always make things better.
The drums and bass does imo ruin things a bit. And they flatten the dynamic
spectra. Skip them is my advice.
Use the guitar all the time, add piano at the bridge and add strings at the chorus.

That's about it as a short answer.

Cheers,
- Martin

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2017, 03:53:29 PM »
Hi Martin,

My main instrument is acoustic guitar so I know how I expect one to sound.  No surprise that I got that right.

I think that I need time away from this song for maybe a week or so.  The challenge in a production of this kind is to make the software  instruments sound more authentic and that is what I will concentrate on.  It's no surprise that they sound synthetic, because they are. I'm struggling with Logic X and not yet able to shape the sounds of instruments as I was able to in previous versions. I dislike the Logic presets for instruments and in future intend to clear the channel completely of effects and start from scratch.  I recognise many of your criticisms so will focus on addressing them in time.

I think that there is scope to include many of the instruments included. It's not that they don't fit. I simply have to work with them further and this is why this is a work in progress. Minimal is not always the way ahead.

Thank you so much for your input Martin.  I will  refer to your critique as I become more familiar with Logic and hopefully produce this in a way that brings greater dynamics to the finished production.

Cheers

Paul