[Vintage54]

 
            This may seem a little long, but it's not aimed at the top forty. I'm thinking a jaunty
            accoustic number, with a dash of harmonica here and there. Apologies to the optimists,
            i call it as i see it.

                                  Is it a better show?

                        I'm far from optimistic
                        When i look around today
                        All the signs are telling me
                        The world has lost it's way
                        I think we need to slow down
                        We're moving way too fast
                        Before we've took the time to learn
                        The lessons of the past

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Nuclear is the future
                        A cleaner better heat
                        But the waste sits like a time bomb
                        Underneath our feet
                        If the earth decides to move
                        If that day comes to pass
                        It's gonna take more than a paper roll
                        To wipe that baby's ass

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Sitting on a crowded bus
                        Feeling all alone
                        There's people wearing headsets
                        Or staring at a phone
                        Talking with their fingers
                        Plugged into their seats
                        All in touching distance
                        But so far out of reach

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Maybe i'm just getting old
                        But i don't think that's the case
                        I've still got a young man's heart
                        Behind this wrinkled face
                        I feel a cold front rolling in
                        I doubt will ever clear
                        And the news has turned to gossip now
                        That i don't want to hear

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        You don't have to pay your dues these days
                        No gigging till you drop
                        It's image over substance
                        And a short cut to the top
                        Acts are manufactured
                        Like we manufacture cars
                        You can dress up street lamps
                        But that don't make em stars

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Where's the new Sinatra
                        Where's the new fab four
                        Who'll take the place of Dylan
                        When he aint around no more
                        No one can get close to them
                        Those guys are different class
                        You can chew your bubblegum
                        But the taste aint gonna last

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Old man says to the doctor
                        What you do is great
                        But the next time that my heart gives out
                        Do not resuscitate
                        Just order me a black cab
                        Slide me in that hearse
                        I know the times are changing
                        But they're changing for the worse

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so

                        Conceit is like a cancer
                        And i've watched that tumour grow
                        Will the patient make it through
                        I'm still hoping so
                        He's slipped into unconsciousness
                        Shallow is the breath
                        The pupils are dilated
                        And the soul has left the flesh

                        Is it a better show, i don't think so
                        Is it a better show, i don't think so.

                                   Vintage 54

[Mike67]

Good solid lyric that tells a story very well. Long, but not repetitive at all.

                        I think we need to slow down
                        We're moving way too fast
                        Before we've took the time to learn
                        The lessons of the past

My only suggestion would be change the 3rd line to something like:

No time to slow it down and learn the lessons of the past.

Links and scans. After, but a personal thing.

Mike

[Vintage54]

  Hello Mike,
      Thanks for taking the time, and thanks for the suggestion. But i'll stick with what i wrote. I appreciate the feedback though. Nothing is worse than being ignored.

                          Vintage54

[finestrat]

Sums up the feelings of most people I know who reach a certain age.  Well written

[JonDavies]

LOVED this - each verse ended with absolute FIRE

I have The Guns Of Brixton by The Clash stuck in my head and managed to read every verse to the tune of it

I've read it twice trying to fault the lyrics but I can't, I'm jealous of them

Look forward to hearing it

[lillypilly]

This is classic vintage

Even though it is long it does not have to be sung, as I was reading it through a couple of times it is a poem and read without music........just magic......and so poignant

[Neil C]

Vintage, long but every verse packs a punch and as had been said you have a pair of killer lines at the end of each of them, which most would just kill for and be the core of one song on their own!
nice one
 
Neil

[delb0y]

The lyrics work for me - I shall be interested in hearing them with the music, because as you say, there are a lot of them. One thing that jumps out at me is that perhaps the scope could be narrowed? You're covering a whole host of issues with the modern world:

Nuclear / Technology Causing Isolation / Fake News / Manufactured Acts

interspersed with verses that illustrate the narrator's hopelessness.

All the ideas work, but does there being no new Dylan and lots of nuclear waste work in the same song? I think they could - but perhaps the verses could be combined so the lack of a new Dylan means no-one is bringing attention to these things through song anymore? That the youth of today are too busy in their virtual worlds that they're missing out on the real world issues? That they have no prophet anymore.

The other thing is that the lyrics, and the wide scope of the lyrics - with an equal amount of narrator testimony - tell me more about the narrator than the world issues. By the end of the lyrics I get the feeling that the focus is on a grumpy old fellow reminiscing about the good old days and how things are changing for the worst, rather than a wake-up call about the state of the world. I assume this is intended but it does take away the power of the various messages to me.

[Paulski]

Hi Vintage

Great flow and meter in this - will make it a breeze to set to music.
I love these couplets:

You can dress up street lamps
But that don't make em stars

You can chew your bubblegum
But the taste aint gonna last

Far be it for me to crit your grammar but is there a tense issue here?

                        I think we need to slow down
                        We're moving way too fast
                        Before we've took we take the time to learn
                        The lessons of the past

I'm not sure I agree with the underlying message. I like to think that the world is (and will be) a better place for my grandchildren. You could turn any one of your examples around to show that - like the headphones/smart phone thing - kids are connected to hundreds of friends online now - yes, the connection with the one sitting next to them on the bus suffers, but there is a positive side. Maybe the message in the song would get too complicated IDK. (gets off soapbox...)

Still  solid write 
Paul
 

[PaulAds]

A sprawling epic.

A film of it should be on the telly at Christmas, just after the Queens speech.

[PaulAds]

Ps The title somehow reminded me of a song I did last month for FAWM

"Same Circus, Different Clown"