[Jamie]

https://soundcloud.com/jamie1802/you-dont-want-to-know

Hi all, a new guitar based indie rock song. The author and commentator Robert Harris said 'nobody wakes up at 4 am for a good reason'. This song is about those moments when hope is not in abundance and you can only see the problems, that are always multiplied by not being able to do anything about them at that time. I wanted a guitar solo in the outro, but started to have some 'latency' issues and decided to leave it. I've had some real problems with this in the past.
Anyway, what do you think? All constructive comments welcome!
Cheers
Jamie

You don't want to know

And when they come, they come before dawn
You try to hide coz it won't be long
Makes your skin crawl the grinding of bones
When the time comes you'll be all alone

You might need some time to understand
Thrown in the pit with the rest of the damned
As doll like eyes stare from your head
You take your place with the rest of the dead

Chorus
Look out at night while you're asleep in your beds
Take the loose ends, don't pull on the threads
Sew up your eyes so you don't see a thing
You don't want to see what the demon will bring

The crows will come and pick out your eyes
Twist in the wind, dissemble your eyes
The kick you need to tell you you're alive
A loaded gun for your suicide

Chorus

[shadowfax]

Dark lyrics...made the hairs on my neck ..well, fall out actually!!
acoustic geetar is excellent and your lead  has just come in.....nicely done lead Jamie..
harmonies come in just at the right time..was gonna say..where's the harmonies!!!

just got realy heavy..love it!!!

this is a great piece of work Jamie..well done, love the hiss at the end!!

[Martinswede]

Hello!

I like the song.
My first impression is that the song has a The Wall vibe to it.
Dreamy in a way. Sad in so many  ways.

My ears tell me that the song goes in a too high key for your
vocals. Dropping it a full step, and yes redo all the guitars, would
most likely give your vocals a bit more strength.

Cheers,
- Martin

[Thomas Frederick]

Lyrics are everything anyone could ask for, beautiful story.

Guitar/bass played nice and fits wonderfully with the haunting vocals.

Really enjoyed the unusual chords. The interesting progressions work well together, to me.

I think the sound of frets might be a little overpowering in some places.

I agree with Martinswede about the song being in perhaps a slightly too-high key for you.

Towards the end the second guitar solo got a little repetitive to me. I think in retrospect I preferred it at the end as opposed to the middle and I would probably cut one so the effect isn't minimised. (Bear in mind this genre isn't my speciality, so take that with a pinch of salt!)

I feel the sound should end on that last distorted electric guitar note and fade from that...

Overall a really solid effort!

[kevysc]

Enjoyably Dark ... Leonard Cohen with a higher pitched voice (and a better lead guitar player)!

Great work,  thanks

Kevin

[Skub]

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit, light
Enter, night
Take my hand
Off to never-never land....shades of Metallica's Sandman in the topic.

Cool song Jamie. 

There's a bit of cable/connection noise at the very ending,but aside from tidying that,the song sounds great to me,love the monstrous guitar solo,bang on message.

I liked the pitch of the vocals just as they are,I think bringing the song down may lose that wide-eyed effect the 'on edge' vocals deliver so well.

Off for another listen.

[Jamie]

Hi Kevin, lol at your comment ref hairs on your neck . Love your 'great piece of work ' quote !seems like I'm going in the right direction with build on this one!
Cheers Kevin!
Jamie

[Jamie]

Hi Martin, thanks for listening! Yes I've had comments before about singing at the top of my range, but it isn't universal that people don't like it, so maybe it's just how it is . I'm quite happy singing in the higher end of my range ,in fact I like to push in that direction, I just feel more comfortable there!but......what do I know .
I'm glad you like the song! That's why we do it I guess!
Cheers
Jamie

[Jamie]

Hi Thomas, glad you commented on the lyric, it's an area I tend to struggle with! You mention unusual chords which is interesting coz of all the songs I've posted this is the one with the most 'standard' maj/minor chord sequences I've ever done. But I'm glad you liked it!

Hi Kevin, thanks for listening! Glad you liked it, yes dark is my default mode . Cool comment on mr cohen, thanks!

Cheers guys it's appreciated!
Jamie

[Jamie]

Hi Skub, thanks for listening, glad you liked it, and I think pushing the range adds a little to the desperation of the subject,(but what do I know!). Don't really know metallicas stuff so well but get the comment ref sandman! Still have tech problems now and again, but I keep trying!
Keep listening!
Cheers
Jamie

[Wicked Deeds]

Great song Jamie.  There is real craft going on here.  I enjoy this one a great deal, from the intriguing intro to the very cool song that followed.  I'm looking forward to hearing more of the songs that you post!

Paul

[Yodasdad]

Very darky and moody,

I can hear both the floyd and Metallica influences that have been mentioned.

Great overall sound to this with some nice guitar playing. Some creative melodies to with the chromatic shifts.

Not my area of expertise this style, so I won't offer improvements.

Enjoyed it.

Yodasdad.

[adamfarr]

Jamie - I simply loved this, so much that I wanted it to come back for another round at the end. It could happily have done so for me.

I think the "live" acoustic noises were a brave decision and really work well nd give some personality. And the build really kept me interested - one section flows really well to the next.

If I had one comment it might be that you maybe didn't need to say the word "suicide" - the remainder of the lyric paints a dark picture which can go in different ways (political, criminal etc.) and so something subtler might keep those threads going rather than going so directly for that image. Just a thought!

Also I think with all the "eyes" references it might be titled "You don't want to see".

Really really liked this one!

[Jamie]

Hi Paul, thanks for listening! Great comments, thank you 😊.

Hi yodasdad,yes I was aiming for dark and moody. Thanks for the comments on the playing!glad you enjoyed it!

Cheers
Jamie

[Jamie]

Hi Adam, thanks for your great comments! The live acoustic noises were not a choice, if you can cancel them out from a live performance, then I don't know how to do it . I guess that shows my lack of technical knowledge. I'm really pleased with the build I think it's one of my best efforts! Yes the suicide line was a source of some thinking, but in the end I felt it didn't change the overall meaning of the lyric but also added to the drama......but what do I know !
Thanks again!
Cheers
Jamie