konalavadome

Looking For The Summer

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Paul

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« on: September 03, 2011, 10:24:52 AM »
Hello songwriters,

I wrote half of this song in the living room with my guitar then in my eagerness to record it, completed it at my computer.  I know there's a better version to be recorded and I'm really not happy with the rhythm guitar but I quite like this as a song.  I hope that you do too!

Thanks for listening!

Paul

http://soundcloud.com/vanity1/looking-for-the-summer/s-130Pv

Looking For The Summer

You’d do well to leave this man behind,
Kiss and tell, say that love was blind.
It’s easy to fall.  It happens to us all.

If you’re looking for the summer, it’s only fair to be aware.
If you’re looking for the summer, don’t hang around, it won’t be found for rain,
Winter rain.

You may try to take away his pain.
He won’t heal, he won’t be whole again.
It’s not that he’s cruel or that he played you for a fool.

If you’re looking for the summer, it’s only fair to be aware.
If you’re looking for the summer, don’t hang around, it won’t be found for rain,
Winter rain.

If only we could change the way the wheel has turned, the cards have fallen.
Maybe then, we chase away the dark clouds and the rain.

If you’re looking for the summer, it’s only fair to be aware.
If you’re looking for the summer, don’t hang around, it won’t be found for rain,
Winter rain.
If you’re looking for the summer, it’s only fair to be aware.
If you’re looking for the summer, don’t hang around, it won’t be found for rain,
Winter rain.

http://soundcloud.com/vanity1/looking-for-the-summer/s-130Pv
« Last Edit: September 03, 2011, 10:29:30 AM by pablo »

jim morrison

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« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2011, 02:06:14 PM »
Great work Paul, nice chilled vibe to this song and good lyrics can't offer any criticism, the production is bang on
Learner guitarist

Kafla

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« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2011, 02:57:48 PM »
Always difficult to review your songs Paul - what improvements could I make ???

Another well crafted and expertly produced offering

Sorry I can't say anymore! ;D

TomAtkins1991

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« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2011, 10:59:09 PM »
Nice recording!

I agree with you that the rhythm guitar needs a slightly different structure.
The refrain is strong, almost a country-vibe to it.
Lyrically, I personally feel that the verses are weak. Too cliche-ridden and kind of let the chorus down. Some rewriting on those would really help the song.

I enjoy the vocal too! If that is you yourself singing, you have talent sir!

Paul

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« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2011, 12:41:02 PM »
Thanks for taking time to respond and express your opinions guys!  :)

Paul