[Neil C]

Jamie,
Like how it still sound like you, with attitude, its those chord changes!
Pulsating with the staccato bass/guitars chordal stabs.
Then your melodyn bv's on the chorus clever.
Like the the chords on the bridge too.
going to take it for another spin.
 
Neil

[Jamie]

Hi all thanks for listening!

Hi Tina, it took me ages to find the right boxes for those drums, I find that Waitrose prosecco ones work best . I didn't think of prog, is it the chord structure in the verse? Yes I'm able to be serene as I can stand on my ramparts and look at the countryside and check my moat for peasants . The bridge was a bit of a throwaway, so I'm pleased it had a some traction! I usually do add too many bits and end up taking them all back out again! Yep it's still in 'A' 
Thanks again Tina!
Hi Neil, cheers yes wanted that grungy incessant feel, but wanted to break it and the bridge seems to have done that pretty well according to the feedback! I don't have melodyne but I guess it must be possible to approximate that sound in Logic Pro x as that's what I used

Cheers
Guys thanks for listening and your kind words!
Jamie

[Mono Stone]

Cool! I especially like the section from 1:43 that's very dreamy...

The whole song has a bit of a brit pop kind of vibe that I like.

Maybe at times the vocal sounded a bit quiet in the mix, just for bits so that the start or end of the occasional word might be a tiny bit lost...overall it seemed about right.

Only one thing stood out to me that bothered me a bit - The 'Reason or rhyme' ... just jumped out at me because it's one of those things that I hear used a lot. I thought the rest of the words were great and different, and that's maybe why it jumped out.

Great playing and singing, and a nice powerful wide mix...Good stuff!

[ScottLevi]

Hey Jamie

Got me excited straight off with "Trying to create a grungy rock feel with a bit of energy"

The lyrics confused my simple mind, I mean I like the wording, natural rythem and structure but struggle to pick out the overall meaning.

I mean there are some strong lines like

I don't know why you're here
I want to drive but you re gonna steer

which I really dig, but others like

Everything's gone so cold
And its all so uncontrolled

and

Why do you waste you're time
When there's no reasons, reason or rhyme

which sound cool on their own, but go over my head when trying to piece together.

Not trying to have a knock - lyrics which require a bit of thought is a good thing - but as we're reviewing thought it's worth the mention that as an average reader, I can't quite make it out.

Did get inclines of a Chicken and Pig scenario which I think is an interesting basis for a song, but some bits lost me.

Anyway from your post it sounds like this one's more about the energy and instrumentation and that worked really well for me. Might just be my headphones but vocals were a little lost in the mix from my perspective, would love to hear them a little clearer because they sound strong. Plenty of progression, energy and variation to keep me entertained the whole while - and I personally enjoyed the "dreamy" bit at ~2min also.

All the best,
Scott.

[Paulski]

Hi Jamie

I always look forward to you chord progressions - quite a knack you got there.
And of course how you construct your melody lines on top of them just gets better every song. I esp liked the chord drop when you sing "down". Good call there.

Nothing more to add really - it's above my critiquing skills
Enjoyed the listen
Paul

PS - what's the bpm in this? (just kidding!)

[Jamie]

Hi guys, thanks for listening it's appreciated!

Hi mono, glad you enjoyed it. I didn't think of Brit pop, but that's cool! Yes, lyrics are always an issue, many great songwriters get away with cliches so it's always difficult to avoid. Thanks for the comment on the mix!
Cheers

Hi Scott, glad you enjoyed it! A couple of people noted the level of the vocal, I'll have another listen! The construct of the lyric is based upon the relationship (the river), and how people construct ways of dealing with issues in their relationship e.g. Abusive, loveless, infidelity etc (the bridge) and the verses are a window into issues in a relationship. At leat that's what I meant .

Hi Paul, 120 bpm , and it's still in 'A'  . Pleased with your chord structure and melody comments, I always try to make them the cornerstone of my songs, whether I manage it or not is an other issue .

Cheers guys, thanks again!

Jamie

[montydog]

That's different! Really strange to hear your cool, detached vocals combined with the grungy guitar. I think the combination works well and this is a melodically strong song. Lyrics are OK but didn't blow me away. Great production and clever arrangement as always with you. Very professional, polished and accomplished.

M

[refusedrevival]

Hi,

Nice 60s feeling, Syd Barrett and Pink Floyd.
I liked this, lots of energy. Also the keyboard part is very good!

refusedrevival

[adamfarr]

Nice contrast between your smooth vocals and the heavier punchy guitars. Great harmonies too. Enjoyed it!

[Jamie]

Hi guys, thanks for listening!

Hi Allan, thanks for the positive stuff, but competence is still a stranger to me! Glad you got something from it, and I hadn't thought about it, but there is a detached feel to the vocals, even if it wasn't done on purpose . As far as lyrics are concerned I was keen to get the phrasing right to fit in with the tempo and timing of the punchy guitars, and anyway lyrics are always something I could work on more!

Hi RR, Syd Barrett again, I'll need to go back and listen, I didn't think of him . Glad you got the energy, it was key for me to get that feel in this song. Yes the mellotron keyboard bit is a great sound!

Hi Adam, Others have commented on the contrast in the vocals to the guitars, if only I'd meant it! . I like the harmonies too, I think they lift the chorus. Glad you enjoyed it, that's why I do it!

Cheers and thanks again!

Jamie