[Martinswede]

Hi!

This is one of my oldest songs that I still play.
It's about love, of course, love at a distance.
To find things that still keeps two people together.

Imo it could do with drums and bass but at the moment
that is not an option. I do have a bass guitar but all I
play sounds boring. And to get a drummer who also
plays keys or harmonica is like a needle in the hay in my
hometown.

The song is a bit long but I like the guitar parts.
The lyrics are as good as written in stone so I'm
mostly curious about the instrumentation and singing.
And over all impression of course.

https://soundcloud.com/martin-jarnevi/rain

Rain

I know your heart, but I don´t get what your doing.
Your upset    and disapproving.                
If you could hold the rain just in your hand.                   

The day was dark with nothing moving.
Each step was uphill and we were pulled in.
To this dark nothing of a dream.

Still shaky but I´m trying and your soothing.
Numerous of voices I got to give in.
But the sweetest whisper brings me peace.

Every thought of every second is of you and.
Enough to set aside what I´m supposed to be doing.
The rain is pouring down around me.

So when are you gonna see the truth in
what I say and do matches up to someone loving.
If you could show the same in the rain.

Stand by me, stand by me and let me be your man.
Nothing more to it nothing to understand.
If I could hold your hand in this rain.

Cheers,
- Martin

[Mutrins]

Hi!

This is one of my oldest songs that I still play.
It's about love, of course, love at a distance.
To find things that still keeps two people together.

Imo it could do with drums and bass but at the moment
that is not an option. I do have a bass guitar but all I
play sounds boring. And to get a drummer who also
plays keys or harmonica is like a needle in the hay in my
hometown.

The song is a bit long but I like the guitar parts.
The lyrics are as good as written in stone so I'm
mostly curious about the instrumentation and singing.
And over all impression of course.

https://soundcloud.com/martin-jarnevi/rain

Rain

I know your heart, but I don´t get what your doing.
Your upset    and disapproving.                
If you could hold the rain just in your hand.                   

The day was dark with nothing moving.
Each step was uphill and we were pulled in.
To this dark nothing of a dream.

Still shaky but I´m trying and your soothing.
Numerous of voices I got to give in.
But the sweetest whisper brings me peace.

Every thought of every second is of you and.
Enough to set aside what I´m supposed to be doing.
The rain is pouring down around me.

So when are you gonna see the truth in
what I say and do matches up to someone loving.
If you could show the same in the rain.

Stand by me, stand by me and let me be your man.
Nothing more to it nothing to understand.
If I could hold your hand in this rain.

Cheers,
- Martin

I like the overall feel of this song. I can see where you're going with it. I do enjoy the guitar but at times it seems like there may be more than one guitar track and it's a bit off beat? I can't quite put my finger on it but something sounds a little bit off in terms of that.

You're very emotive in the way you sing and there is a sadness in your voice that is really working here. I would like to hear the vocals a bit more clearly, though. Something about the guitars are distracting from your voice. It sounds to me like you only need one guitar in this. Just leave it as your voice and one acoustic guitar and it'll be great.

I don't think you need drums either. Or even bass. This is a nice acoustic guitar song.

Good work!

[Mutrins]

I forgot to mention I do like when the electric guitar comes in for the solo at the end!

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

I like it Martin.

Also getting that something with the second guitar though I like what it's adding. It just isn't quite right. It reminds me of something Dylan...don't know what...where it's kind of dragging which is nice and it can be great but it just ain't quite right at the mo. It's just a question of a little bit of timing

The end of the first verse lines is a bit remiscent of 'I Shall Be Released' (same chord movement I suppose) so maybe that's the one I'm thinking of with the guitar too?

Vocal is very nice.

Get yourself a couple of harmonicas...you'll soon pick enough to be able to play some stuff.

Nice song anyway.

[Martinswede]

Hi!

Thank you for your comments!

Yes there is a bit of an of beat between the guitars. I hear it more
clearly now. First I thought to just remove the electric track
and re-post it as an acoustic version but some beats are off in the
acoustic track too. My idea with the electric was to make a more
natural way into the solos and add some rhythm to the song.

This is a tricky song for me to record. This was my third attempt
at it.

What I'll do is to re record the song and re post when I've
done a more focused and better recording.

Yes 'I shall be released' comes to mind. Maybe I can get Garth
Hudson on organ.

I actually got a harmonica in the right key for this song so
It's just a matter of effort.

Thanks again,
- Martin

[Bob Barraza]

I like the lyrics and the melody, your delivery is very real and sincere.
Trimming time off something is really hard, but in the end it might make it more open to the public.
Your main body is obviously in a 4/4 time but some of your back up guitar seems to be pushing
a cut time tempo which gives the listener a bit of a strain. Has that been addressed? Keep the 4/4,
it really expresses the mood better.
Overall, you have a good song growing here, I'd like to hear the finished product.
Bob

[kevysc]

This is a good song ... agree with the previous comments on the recording issues, but the basic structure is there and this one would polish up nicely with a full production.

Kevin

[jacksimmons]

Hey there! Your picking in the intro and throughout reminded me a little of Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes. Your vocals have that sort of vibe, too. I wonder if you've listened to Bright Eye before? I also agree with the above, there's a little bit of Dylan in your vocals too. The lyrics are my favourite part. They're moving, quite original but also with obvious roots in pop folk.

I like the subtle electric and especially the chilled solo. Think it really works.

I agree with the above comments on the production, but really I think it's not a song that needs to be massively over produced. Plenty of musicians have that sort of lo-fi edge to their acoustic folk music.

Overall, I think you're on to something good here. Could do with a little clean up production wise but I don't think it's a hugely pressing concern. It also felt much shorter than it actually is. I was about to write as a point in your favour 'short and sweet' before releasing it was over 4 minutes.

[IronKnee]

Timing issues aside, this is a very nice song....love the instrumental picking off your electric guitar.
It's a nice one, Martin. I enjoyed the lyric and melody writing, most.
Good stuff!
                              -Tom

[Martinswede]

Hi all of you!

Thank you for your comments!

Since my present recording of my song has some
timing issues and doesn't really cut it I'm
shutting down this thread and the post
on Soundcloud.

Hopefully I will soon make another recording of my song
'Rain'.

Thanks again.
- Martin