[stephaniedema]

Hi folks!

Came up with this while playing today.
http://soundcloud.com/stephaniedema/instrumental-piece
Am wondering if I should work on it to result in a full instrumental piece or better put lyrics on it.

Thanks in advance for the feedback!

[Kafla]

Right steph here we go,

I think you have 3 parts here, hammer on part, chord part and unconventional chord shape part - hope that makes sense

I don't think as an instrumental this works , particularly at the end shifting from unconventional chord part back to hammer on part.

I do however feel that the 3 different parts in isolation are very interesting indeed 

My advice would be to adapt the structure to fit a melody and lyric in

Even better there are potentially 2-3 songs here which could be developed here - I do this a lot

Work with the hammer on part into chord part first and see what happens and potentially use unconventional into chorus/mid 8

Hope this bloddy makes sense - i know what I mean

I really like your guitar playing and still love family man

[stephaniedema]

Hey Kafka

Totally makes sense, I know what you mean 
Actually it's just what I thought. Will work on it later. Bad cold --> hoarse voice --> no singing for a few days 

Might indeed split it up and work on the seperate parts individualy. Then I can see where it leads me.

Glad you like the guitar playing. And it makes me smile that you like 'The Family Man' so much 

Thansk for your feedback. It's always very much appreciated.

[Paul]

Hi steph,

I'd suggest developing this into a song.  At the moment, I think that it requires a little more work before it can stand alone as an instrumental.  You have a picked intro and outro that act as bookends to the main body of the composition.  In the main section, you could easily construct a vocal melody to form a song.  If you decide against this and prefer instead to write an instrumental, the harmony (chords) will support the melody, enabling you to perhaps write a melody for a different instrument, making an engaging instrumental for the listener. (alternatively you could write the main melody on the same instrument.)  I hope this helps a little.

Paul

[cheff daniel]

i think the second slower part with the strumming is quite catchy, and is sure worth to make a song out of it. the part where you go up on the neck could be a wonderfull intro. the first fingerpicking part is another song perhaps.
let us know when you've finished it.

gr.   Dan