[Bill Saunders]

Hi Neil

Lovely laid back vibe, clever use of space in the chorus between 'will be's, I like the way the second will be is sung on the upstroke. For me, little details like that gives it a real lift from just a nice tune to the next level. I agree with your own comments that there are some minor rough edges on the vocals. If it were me, I'd be tempted to redo a line or two to address slight pitching issues, but that's me...don't know when to leave things well alone to allow the original feel to shine!

Great job, really enjoyed this.
Bill

[CaliaMoko]

Vicki, re prosody I get your point but sometimes I don't want to interfere with the lyrics so it's down to how I sing them. sometimes uncomfortable words can actually make it memorable imho

This is a good point, and I am all for what appears to be awkwardness or uncomfortable if it is for an effect. It can definitely have an impact not available otherwise. Besides, I don't consider it a requirement that everyone attempt ultimate levels of prosody...we all have different goals.

I sometimes hesitate to make suggestions based on my personal hopeless dreams of perfection; I don't want to discourage anyone who really isn't in it for that type of achievement. I always hope the receiver takes from my feedback whatever is useful for her or him and ignores the rest. I offer it without strings and it's a bonus for me if it's helpful at all.

[LAquila]

Hi Neil,

Such an unusual song - dark and moody lyrically, upbeat and infectious musically. I guess that's what happens when minds combine to create a song. I sometimes wish I had a songwriting partner but I can see where it wouldn't work: I'd want my own way the whole time.

You make a good point in your response to Vicki about prosody. I guess there's a compromise to be reached and I don't think the song suffers too much because of that. The advantages of collaboration have to outweigh the disadvantages and I think they do in this case.

However, I have to agree with Vicki. Too much awkwardness in the metre makes the places where it could be effective seem like an accident. P!nk does it all the time and seems to get away with it (eg: 'A good excuse to be a bad influence on you'; and 'Make the elevator come a little faster/I'm pushing all the buttons...'. Don't get me wrong: I think she's amazing...but both of those songs are flawed because the prosody is wrong. And guess what - they were both collaborations.

That's not to say you shouldn't collaborate because you and STC have come up with something quite original and tantalising here, something that neither of you might have managed on your own. But it's a point worth keeping in mind.

cheers,
L

[montydog]

I loved the acoustic and whole vibe. Well chosen points to double track your vocal which sounded nice and relaxed BTW. Definitely shades of the impeccable Tom Petty - it doesn't get much better than that. Sympathetic marriage of lyrics with melody and arrangement. A very pleasant listen indeed.

M

[Steng]

Intrigued by some of the lyrics, paints an interesting set of pictures. I learnt something about structure listening to this, the interplay between bass, guitar and drums especially. Some lovely bass lines too. A great listen. 

[ScottLevi]

Hey Neil,

Fantastic that you put some of the lyrics from guys on the forum to music, it's lovely to hear how they come out.

And what interesting lyrics STC has put togethor, dig a bit of grimness.

Good go at your "stripped back" version, I think it's all it needs and overproduction could've easily ruined it. Came across a little more friendly than I was hoping after reading the lyrics but still very enjoyable.

And I agree with Steng plenty to learn from listening to your work

All the best,
Scott.

[Wicked Deeds]

Top notch writing fellas.  Lovely lilting vocal melody and supporting backing vocals.  This is a lovely little number to perhaps pitch to artists and I wish you both good luck with your promotions.  I love the way this song subtly grows and has greater impact as  it progresses.  IThe best compliment that I can pay, is that this song is almost like an old familiar friend - like it’s always been here.

Well done!

Best


Paul

[shadowfax]

How do I keep missing these tracks?
It's all good but not sure the melody fits the lyric, which are rather good....as is the melody and instrumentation..
maybe I'm wrong then, second listen..yeah, I was wrong...

good work guys..