Thanks for all the feedback everyone, I haven't got time to do an itemised response at the moment but I've read all of the comments and appreciate them, some very good observations and advice.
I'm currently re-working the song in an EDM style following the suggestions. Not a style I particularly listen to so its taking a while but I agree with the comments that it would work better this way, thanks.
When I originally started to write this song it was with the intention of it being cheesy and almost throwaway. It sounds odd I know but this is how I view a lot of the commercial mainstream pop music out there at the moment. I agree with those who dislike the word baby which is kind of why I chose it, because it's so over used and lame. It's so unimaginative but people are using it and having hits, I thought if Justin Smugface Bieber can do a song that overuses the word baby, so can I.
I'm not sure how many baby's mines got in it but I'm betting his has got more, not that I've really taken the time to listen.
Thanks again for the comments and watch this space as I'll be posting the new version once it's done.
Yodasdad
