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The Time We Get

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evanjavo

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  • Just passing through.

Re: The Time We Get

« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2016, 02:39:33 AM »
"The time we get is burning
It don't light the way.
The night keeps returning
By the end of the day."

How does that sound? To avoid repetition and also incorporates the song title
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 02:42:25 AM by evanjavo »
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Vintage54

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Re: The Time We Get

« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2016, 12:59:06 AM »

   Hello again igg,

     I go away for a while and leave you burning bright, i come back and your light has not diminished. I could pick one or two holes, but why bother, there's too many good lines to talk about improvement.

                  Still jealous
                    Vintage54
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