[shortwhat]

This song is about the single life, as I've recently come out of a yearlong relationship and am just getting used to it haha, any feedback is appreciated:)

LYRICS:

I am keeling on the floor of an old friend's bathroom
Insecure about my clothes, and the vomit in the toilet
I am skipping out on gigs to get friendly with strangers
Convinced myself it'll take me far, but right now I'm going nowhere

Just want a bit of that good life
Don't want to think of the aftermath
Just give me a bit of that good life or so help me god

I am watching my friend roll, but he just can't pack it in
Inconspicuous in the car park with a police car down the street
I am sat in bed all day, because nobody wants to see me
I've got these plans and I can't wait, they're just so far in the future

Just want a bit of that good life
Don't want to think of the aftermath
Just give me a bit of that good life or so help me god

So help me god
On the train home I thought about her and the way she'd disapprove
And it felt so good...

[kevysc]

This is a strong song and would sound great with a full production. You have a very interesting voice that could be quite commercial in the right hands. Best of luck with it,

Kevin

[fischermans]

Good song and as kevysc mentioned , it can be great with a full production. I would try to improve the singing. In parts it sounds a bit to much compressed when you know what I mean. May try to play the song in another tonality.
I like it, Alexander

[shortwhat]

thanks for the feedback:) I plan on recording this properly in the near future which will be nice:)

[Neil C]

Decent tune good rhythm to it. Like the self deprecating lyrics if I read them correctly.
Your vocals sounded more confident and less affected as you went through, I think you've really got to go for the chorus.
I agree would suit a guitar band too. Just wonder about the ending, whether you should got back to the chorus?
 
Neil

[RothenborgLopez]

Hi!

Kinda liked it! I read the lyrics without listening to the song and I gotta be honest, I didn't like them so much. Then I listened to the song and they made sense. They got better because the way you sang your song was in the perfect "attitude" for a lyric like this.

You sound you have that "care-free" kind of attitude when you sing which can really work well. Like you're relaxed and don't give a d*mn. You know? Your voice sounds cool but like someone said, could use some practicing. Maybe this song could be lowered one key because you sounded like you struggled a little bit at some parts.

I liked this song and I think you should keep it up! Good luck

/R

[jacksimmons]

First of all cool T-Shirt, and cool Bright Eyes cover.

Dude, I'm a big Conor Oberst fan, and I love the homages to Bright Eyes in this. Your singing voice has that same shaky quality, which is cool.

I'd like to hear a studio version of this. I don't imagine you'd need much more than yourself and your guitar. This version already gets the message across, but I'm imagining it with a female harmony line somewhere and maybe some subtle strings.

Perfect little chorus. Catchy and short and sweet. It took me by surprise at first because, the way the song started, I expected it to be a simple AAAA folk number, then it punched in with that sort of pop punk chord sequence. It was definitely a good surprise!

Yeah, this is really strong. Keep up the good work.

[shortwhat]

cheers guys:)

Neil: I was actually thinking of going back to the chorus, but when I tried it out it kind of lost it's tension in a way, shame though

Rothenborg: thanks:) there are certainly lyrics like that that don't work written down but are much better when put to use, I'm glad you think so! I can definitely nail those high notes for a proper take of this but at the time of recording I wasn't in a comfortable position haha, I'd been out in the cold and had a runny nose and that

Jack: thanks:) bright eyes are one of my fave bands, and I'd like to think that all the music I've released is somewhat inspired by Conor. I'm thinking of recording this with just electric guitar and vocals, seeing how that turns out:) I do kind of describe myself as slow folky punk so thats good!

thanks again:)

[Boydie]

This is a nice little song, which is really sold on the performance

I can hear a full production in my head and this song would definitely benefit from some pounding drums and driving guitars

I think the song itself needs another element to it as the first person narrative does tend to get a little "so what?" after a while - I just think you need something else to pull the listener in