[Viva La Stereo]

Hello everyone. With this song I basically tried to write a domestic short story, something like Raymond Carver etc. I thought that if I could synthesize an unhappy marriage into a chorus then I'd have quite a different kind of tune. As usual, it's relatively lo-fi and the lyrics aren't the most uplifting. It's basically a song about broken dreams and unhappy marriages. I promise one day I'll write a happy song!

https://soundcloud.com/vivalastereo/sonny/s-eWUMh

Sonnys got a wife and a kid at home
But that doesn't stop him from dreaming
They never really meant to wed so soon
They just did it because he was steaming

"Where does the time go" says Sonnys wife
"Feel like I've wasted half my life"

"Shoulda stuck in at school
Instead of playing the fool"

"Where does the time go" says sonnys wife
"feel im losing grip on my life"

Sonny tells himself his means are good
The booze just stops him from falling down
Give him fame for half a damn year
And he'll come back and he'll buy this town

He says standing in his vest
Catching his own reflection

"Gimme once chance" he cries
"Just one little chance
And I'll start again"

"Where does the time go" cries Sonnys wife
Thinking tragic thoughts with a knife
"Feel like I've wasted half my life"

[mickyplankton]

Im a big fan of Lou Reed and i can hear the influence in here, both with the songwriting and production. Ive listened to it twice in a row and i can confirm the song is also a grower. I wouldn't change a thing about it. Minimalist is the right way to go with this - very clever how you bring the song up and down with such limited production.

[jacksimmons]

Yep, can definitely hear those Velvet Underground influences like Mickey. Like the slightly deadpan vocal delivery, it really suits the mellowness of the track. The drums are a little distant for my taste - they sound like they're in another room - but that's probably in sticking with the Lou Reed vibes.

I love that this is a short song. Your lyrics are punchy, and tell the story well, and then you get out of there before it starts to drone. Knowing when to end a song is definitely an important skill to have.

My favourite part of this is the way the melody runs down on the lines: "Where does the time go" says Sonny's wife/ Feel like I've wasted half my life". It's really melancholy.

I won't comment much on production since you said that you're going for a lo-fi style. You pull it off nicely. Great little song.

[CaliaMoko]

I think overall this works pretty well. It's a song theme that will appeal to many, although I'm looking forward to the happy song you promised. 

Couple places I think the rhythm could use a little work. Seemed a little awkward or "stumbly" on "Where does the time go" says Sonny's wife, as well as some of the verse that starts "Sonny tells himself".

Otherwise, I noticed the rhythm of the piece seems to work well (I'm picky about the rhythms and how they fit the words--in case you never noticed before).

Vicki

[fischermans]

Like this song and the story. Reminds me also on Lou Reed which is a very good thing. I think you have to get rid of the doubled voice and have to practice the singing part a bit more and it will be a very good song. As it is know, it sounds a bit uncertain.
Go on
Alexander

[ScottLevi]

Ooo I had the same feeling with your last one, something about the instrumental pulls be right in. That simple guitar (I think) in the background is well timed between lines and I think that makes the difference here for me.

Feel like I'm being pulled in deeper constantly throughout the song, great lyrics and again with the deep vocal tone tuned ideally.

Good stuff keep 'em coming!

[Viva La Stereo]

ScottLevi:

Cheers Scott, I'm happy it has a slight hypnotic effect. I often make songs in one 'groove' so to speak - I really liked how a lot of the old blues guys kinda droned on in one simple groove that got more and more satisfying as it went along. Yep, the guitar is simple (As are most of my songs haha). Thanks for listening!

fischermans:

Thank you for the feedback! Though I really appreicate your input, I think I may keep it as it is. I'm a fan of rather unpolished raw kind of stuff. and though thats not an excuse for sloppy production, I'm satisfied with the vocals on the mix. I intend to record the song several different times with different people in the future mind, so never say never!

CaliaMoko:

It will happen one day! (though maybe not for a while yet - it's winter and dark often... maybe Christmas time may lift my spirits. Yes there is a little bit of a stumble with certain phrasings, I'll work on that in the future. I'm glad you thought the rhythm worked well (it's only recently I've began to improve in that regard I think).

jacksimmons:

Hey, thanks for the feedback! I'm happy with the Velvets comparison, I have to admit they are/were a big influence on me. Yep, I figured that I'd focus on short songs for the foreseeable future. As much as I'd like to write a meandering Desolation Row style track, I need the building blocks first.. So now most of my songs (should) end somewhere around 2 or 3 minutes. Thanks for the input!

mickyplankton:

Thanks very much! I'm glad you appreciated the minimalist style - quite often that is what I'm going for. I try to play to my strengths, and I find (at this stage in my life) the lo-fi minimalist approach is the correct one for me. One day I'll tackle a lush production, but until then, I'll stick with my rather nihilistic foggy music haha

Cheers people!

[Skub]

Yo VLS.

I wish I could broaden my descriptive pallette to omit any reference to Lou Reed or the Velvets,I seem to hear them every time I review your songs!

Damn,I've done it again...

Lyrics have always been your focus and this is no exception. It's a bleak but vivid picture you craft with your words. How many lives have had wasted potential because of a clueless drunken fumble,the penalty never fits the crime.

Great stuff man.

[boolio]

Hi,

I could underline most of what's already been said about musical similarities so I wont!
I like the minimalist style and in the context of this song less really is more.

The emotion that the song imparts (for me) is not dissimilar to Slip Sliding Away i.e. life running off with ones dreams in some kind of irretrievable way.

I think I'll still have this in my head in the morning, in a good way 

Phil

[Viva La Stereo]

Skub:

Haha don't worry about it, I'm rather honoured to be compared to the Velvets/Reed so often. Those guys were pretty much the reason I started recording in the first place. I'm happy that you liked the lyrics, I'm rather pleased with them myself. I think I'm going to approach songwriting more from this angle in the future.

boolio:

That's interesting, I can definitely see where you're coming from. It's fascinating how different people can interpret songs and how subjective it all is, but there's often a common thread. Paul Simon is a genius (I don't use that word lightly either) so it's nice to come within even a million miles of him as far as thematics go. Thank you.

[MartynRich]

I love your stuff...this is a great mishmash of psychedelic misery wrapped in a box of Lou R...oh, they mentioned him.

Seriously think the lyrics are something else and your vocal delivery always brings them to life. Great little harmonic touches on the guitar as well...excellent.

[tina m]

I didnt like this so much as what youve been posting here before …
lyrically it  stuck to the dreary monotony of normal life & your lyrics normally take me on a trip somewhere ….musically it followed the lyrics & didnt have the spark you usually get ..
I realy missed the melodic lead guitar bits you do so well...there was hardly any of that here?
it was a bit bare which I suppose fits the lyrics but it was also a teeny bit ordinary.. which youve never been before!
im sorry thats the first bad review ive given you  

[The S]

I like this.

The lyrics are spot on for a story telling song and so is the laid back music, but what really stands out and make this song/recording great is your voice. To me, it sounds 100% authentic. That's the best way I can describe it. It doesn't sound like you've been in a song booth trying to nail down a vocal take, it sounds like you want to tell a story no matter what, and that's what you succeed in doing!!! I know from experience it's not easy to pull off but you do it in style on this one.

Good stuff!

Cheers,

S

[Viva La Stereo]

MartynRich:

"Psychedelic misery wrapped in a box of Lou R" - I like that, I'm gonna use it when people ask what kind of music I make! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

tinam:

Ahh, yes. This song certainly is the least kinda avant-garde/out there song that I've done I think. I personally wanted to write a more straight forward number this time, just so I could say I've done it. Don't worry though, I'm currently working on a track that is right back into the avant-garde, and it's full of those lead guitar parts too. Nonetheless, thanks for listening tinam - I do appreciate your reviews.

The S:

Thank you. I learned early on that I wasn't going to be a vocal virtuoso so I put all my concentration into lyrics and phrasing. I find that my best takes are usually amongst the first, so quite often I'll just do a few takes and pick the best one. My head is usually brimming with ideas and I'm wanting to get the words and the story out and move onto the next one.

Appreciate the responses, people.

[adamfarr]

This one sounds straight out of the 60s. The antidote to synthpop! I'm not really one for character songs but in a few lines I could see and almost smell the two protagonists quite clearly.
I think the production is just right for the song - I don't think there was anywhere else it could have gone but here.