Don't Stand So Close To Me - Lyric Review...

  • 14 Replies
  • 4376 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Boydie

  • *
  • Administrator
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3975
« on: August 18, 2016, 10:21:50 PM »
I don't know how many times I have heard this song (a gazillion) but it came on the radio yesterday and for some reason the lyrics and the story telling really grabbed me, whereas in the past they had pretty much just passed me by

I don't know if it is because I am now more conscious of "songwriting" but I really admired the telling of this story and the "efficiency" of the lyric - which "shows" rather than "tells" the story

I would be interested in anyone else's views/opinion of these lyrics and the song:


Don't Stand So Close To Me: The Police

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM#

Quote
Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be

Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking, she's so close now
This girl is half his age

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet

Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly

It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
To check out my music please visit:

http://soundcloud.com/boydiemusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BoydieMusic

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2016, 10:40:46 PM »
He used to teach a friend of mine...a bloke, fortunately...
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3970
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2016, 10:45:02 PM »
Hi,
Great song, marrying lyrics and tune brilliantly. I just love  the dynamic bridge and the way it comes back to the main body of the song.
Released back in 1980 the lyrics always struck as being very brave especially as Sting was a teacher..
 :)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..

Helena4

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 110
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2016, 09:49:01 PM »
You just sent me on a crazy tour first through The Police and then aaaaall around the 80s with that suggestion haha. Now I'm just listening to George Michael's Freedom! '90 over and over. I had never read the lyrics to it before  and I was like - oh he was saying more than i realised haha. Anyway, that Police song is verrrry er cheeky for lack of a better word. I just love how clearly it tells the story without quite telling you anything. Clever.
In her kiss, I taste the revolution...
I am a rebel girl.

ShinyThang

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 596
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2016, 10:21:07 PM »
I remember noticing this lyric years ago. Probably when it first came out. The particular lines that got my attention were;

Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

This kind of thing is right up my street; concise story telling. Don't mess around describing the weather and the location, her situation and the fact that he's passing in his car obviously heading to the same place. That whole scene is beautifully painted with only eleven words. I'm always trying, not necessarily succeeding, to say more with fewer words.
They're, there, their  ...  They're all different!

www.soundcloud.com/geoffjamesevans

Paulski

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4417
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2016, 12:20:37 AM »
Yep - it's a classic both lyrically and musically.
My fav couplet is:

Quote
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly

The image of accusations flying across a staffroom is perfectly painted in few words.
We all need to remember that the listener can conjure a much more interesting image than we can tell him about with just a few evocative phrases.

Paul

Helena4

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 110
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2016, 10:53:28 AM »
I remember noticing this lyric years ago. Probably when it first came out. The particular lines that got my attention were;

Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

This kind of thing is right up my street; concise story telling. Don't mess around describing the weather and the location, her situation and the fact that he's passing in his car obviously heading to the same place. That whole scene is beautifully painted with only eleven words. I'm always trying, not necessarily succeeding, to say more with fewer words.

That's definitely my favourite part. So little is said, but no more needs to be said.
In her kiss, I taste the revolution...
I am a rebel girl.

Boydie

  • *
  • Administrator
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3975
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2016, 11:52:37 AM »
Those were EXACTLY the 2 couplets that caught my attention as well, and they are a masterclass of the first "rule" of lyric writing - SHOW don't TELL the story
To check out my music please visit:

http://soundcloud.com/boydiemusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BoydieMusic

Paulski

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4417
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2016, 12:42:43 PM »
Since we are critiquing:

Quote
To hurt they try and try

That line is yoda-speak to get the rhyming word positioned.
Small potatoes though... :)

JolieThePassenger

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 23
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2016, 01:59:02 PM »
I remember noticing this lyric years ago. Probably when it first came out. The particular lines that got my attention were;

Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

This kind of thing is right up my street; concise story telling. Don't mess around describing the weather and the location, her situation and the fact that he's passing in his car obviously heading to the same place. That whole scene is beautifully painted with only eleven words. I'm always trying, not necessarily succeeding, to say more with fewer words.


Yes, completely agree with this. 

It's a great track.  However, I have always found the Nabakov line clunky.  I know how well it fits in so many ways and yet it still manages to feel shoehorned in to me.
I don't roll on Shabbos

diademgrove

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2134
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2016, 10:18:19 PM »
I didn't like the song or the lyrics. The lyrics describe events. The teacher and the pupil don't really exist as people, at least not for me. I find the song cold, clever, but cold.

A far better song about a similar subject is Mary of the 4th Form by the Boomtown Rats.


JolieThePassenger

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 23
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2016, 11:36:18 PM »
I find the song cold, clever, but cold.

I sort of understand that.  I think you might have put into words my feelings about many of the band's songs.  I like them a lot and have done for years, but despite the songs often being about very passionate and heartfelt subjects; lyrically, there's often an arm's length/slightly removed coolness in the narrative that's even possibly part of the appeal.

I'll ponder on that a bit more!   
I don't roll on Shabbos

Boydie

  • *
  • Administrator
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3975
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2016, 11:54:31 PM »
That is an interesting point

I think this could be because the song is written in the 3rd person

I do think it would have been a little more engaging if it was "I" and "you" - although I guess he didn't want to portray himself in that role  ;)
To check out my music please visit:

http://soundcloud.com/boydiemusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BoydieMusic

diademgrove

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2134
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2016, 10:29:20 PM »
Jolie, I never got on with the Police. I'm not sure why because I liked Roxanne when it first came out but didn't buy it.

Boydie, I don't think its because its in the third person. Mary of the 4th Form is also in the third person, but Mary comes across like a real human being. I don't see any human beings in the Police song. It generates no emotion towards the characters at all.

Teacher has an affair with a pupil. Pupils gossip so do the teachers. End of song.

In the Boomtown Rats song. Mary is attractive, wants to grow up and flaunts her attractiveness and goes drinking but likes to feel safe at home. The song reflects that stage in early adolescence when you want to be older than you are but still want the safety of a loving home. The song says so much more although its about a similar theme. At least to me.


Boydie

  • *
  • Administrator
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3975
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2016, 07:56:48 AM »
Quote
I don't see any human beings in the Police song. It generates no emotion towards the characters at all.

I don't agree with that

I can appreciate that it doesn't do anything for you but it definitely grabbed me on this particular listen and I think there are some great "human" and lines that establish emotion

Perhaps it would be good if you could start a thread with the Boomtown Rats song with a short bit of why you think it works better so we can compare - I am not familiar with this song so it would be a really interesting exercise
To check out my music please visit:

http://soundcloud.com/boydiemusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BoydieMusic