[dinnerwithgreedo]

Here's the latest thing i've written. Bit undecided on it if i'm honest... it could be total poo or it could have potential. I'm sure you guys will let me know

http://snd.sc/nJQYL8

Update: now with acoustic shoddy vid -

LYRICS

I can't get you out of my head
This is a crazy situation
What would i do instead
So please, i need an explantion
Why i feel blue
When i love you
I miss the way that you smile
And i guess i've know for a while
That i love you it's a beauitiful thing
Unrequited love with a sting
It's why i feel blue
When i love you
Here i go again
Back in love again
Been a fool again
Back in school again
You make my heart sing
But it don't mean a thing
Without the love you'd bring
You make my heart sting
And it's why i feel blue
When i love you

[cheff daniel]

i think this is sure worthwile dinner. nice easy begin and then from here i go again it starts to get really good and powerfull, i can hear the big distortion guitars already. but the basic guitarhook i would alter a little because the association with under the bridge is very close now.

gr.    Dan

[jim morrison]

Really impressed with that mate, i'd definitely make a full version of it. The singing is top notch. I have no criticism, my only idea would be for the full version to go to a solid drum beat where i indicated on the bar (end of 2nd verse). I think that would lift it to serious heights. Well done!

[dinnerwithgreedo]

Thanks guys!!

[Back to the water]

You def. have something going there. You can sing, and deliver your lyrics very well. But, my personal fav. is the chord progression. I concur with one of the last posters designation of "top notch". Top notch, indeed.

[dinnerwithgreedo]

Thanks very much.

Here's a vid i just recorded. Acoustic. Played and sung badly for your listening pleasure.

[thiagoxlove]

Wow, great song. You're good.

[Paul]

Hello  there dinnewithgreedo,

This is another fine song.  I think it's obvious to the regular visitors to this forum that you consistently present quality songs, accompanied by fine vocals.   I enjoy the limited use of instruments which allow me to see how much potential your music has.  You're a very good writer and any suggestions that I might offer would only be catering for my own preferences.  Keep on doing exactly what you are at the moment.  The only thing that is needed for your wonderful songs, is a polished production and recording, which I feel would communicate just how good your talent is.  I've read on previous posts that the world could do with a greedo album and I'm inclined to believe that this is true!

Thanks for sharing,

Paul

[dinnerwithgreedo]

Thanks guys!!

[Ramshackles]

Actually I dont think its quite up there with your other songs - the melody isn't as memorable as some of your other efforts and the guitar doesn't have the drive as e.g the finger-picked dear josie. Can definitely be improved if your record it proper, but I think you can and have done better...

[Kafla]

Agree with RS here, this is a song that the arrangement needs developed as I find is the case with most songs on electric guitar

It does have potential though if you get a good rythmn going around it, dirty bass and drums

Not sure about the lyrics as well, the blue thing works in dear josie because of the folk style but I would avoid the "I feel blue " at all costs

Lyrically it's very contrived and I think the issue is you are working so hard to make it rhyme, I would try and work in phrases that are closer to what you really want to say and IMO some lines work even when they don't ryhme

Sorry DWG, I am a massive fan if your other work and you have such a good little sound / style going but I think you can do much better than this

[postmn]

nice, sweet song, keep em coming

[misswhiterabbit]

Lovely vocals! Really nice quality to them.

Think the lyrics could do with a bit of tweaking, some of the rhymes and phrases are a little cliche. But I really like the song, just might need a few minor adjustments.