[Oldbutyet]

Another old lyric of mine maybe some of you can let me know if they flow well or if any changes need to be made or whatever else, also posted in the http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11878.msg114730#new  thanks all.


Princess Of The Street

She lives in the city she is so pretty
She makes her living on the street
She knows the game don't charge loose change
She the princess of the street

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She looks so grand her head held high
She drives her clients wild
She walks her patch like a cat walk princess
Makeup hides secrets

Childhood years bought nothing but fears
Sweet dreams disappear
Princess strong she lives on her own
Since only sweet sixteen

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She knows the dangers
Crazy strangers beaten and misuse
In her world she knows the falls
She used to been abuse

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

[tomcrocus]

Hi Oldbutyet,
                  i think this flows quite well, there's a few little grammar issues
but nothing too drastic,
"She the princess of the street",it should be She's.

In the third verse what about,
"Childhood years brought nothing but fears
sweet dreams disappear
the princess she's strong,she lives on her own
since only sweet sixteen"

I've rewrote the fourth verse,take it or leave it,it's your song,
"She knows the dangers from crazy strangers
what's in the dark who's on the loose
she's in it for the money forget about love
body and soul and mind abuse"


I don't know if you want to think about lengthening the chorus,
maybe not,it works quite well as a two liner.
Overall i really like it,
                              best wishes,Tom.

[Oldbutyet]

Hi Oldbutyet,
                  i think this flows quite well, there's a few little grammar issues
but nothing too drastic,
"She the princess of the street",it should be She's.

In the third verse what about,
"Childhood years brought nothing but fears
sweet dreams disappear
the princess she's strong,she lives on her own
since only sweet sixteen"

I've rewrote the fourth verse,take it or leave it,it's your song,
"She knows the dangers from crazy strangers
what's in the dark who's on the loose
she's in it for the money forget about love
body and soul and mind abuse"


I don't know if you want to think about lengthening the chorus,
maybe not,it works quite well as a two liner.
Overall i really like it,
                              best wishes,Tom.

The fourth verse Tom "what's in the dark who's on the loose" yeah i think that would fit in, its not a song yet these are just lyrics, thanks.

[ScottLevi]

Hey Oldbutyet,

Lovely lyrics and thanks for sharing into the league.

Really intrigued think there's lots of potential for a great song, so much natural rhythm but room to experiment musically - I've read through lots of times and wondered from elvis-style rock&roll to something more Beastie Boys - so no idea what someone might come out with!

[Oldbutyet]

Hey Oldbutyet,

Lovely lyrics and thanks for sharing into the league.

Really intrigued think there's lots of potential for a great song, so much natural rhythm but room to experiment musically - I've read through lots of times and wondered from elvis-style rock&roll to something more Beastie Boys - so no idea what someone might come out with!

Yeah my thoughts on these lyrics is rock&roll maybe even mix with a slow style blues, im no good in that guitar style but today i bought an old acoustic guitar and my fingers are feeling happy with what might be, not putting anyone off with these lyrics 

(thanks for sharing into the league)

As i said you got a great thread there great idea, pm boydie and see if he make your idea into one of those sticky topic or whatever they call them

[hardtwistmusic]

Another old lyric of mine maybe some of you can let me know if they flow well or if any changes need to be made or whatever else, also posted in the http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11878.msg114730#new  thanks all.


Princess Of The Street

She lives in the city she is so pretty
She makes her living on the street
She knows the game don't charge loose change
She the princess of the street

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She looks so grand her head held high
She drives her clients wild
She walks her patch like a cat walk princess
Makeup hides secrets

Childhood years bought nothing but fears
Sweet dreams disappear
Princess strong she lives on her own
Since only sweet sixteen

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She knows the dangers
Crazy strangers beaten and misuse
In her world she knows the falls
She used to been abuse

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

Some Suggestions: 

She looks so grand her head held high
She drives her clients wild
She walks her patch like a cat walk princess
Makeup hides secrets  -- I can't make this line fit the rest of the song with any melody I try. . . Seems to lack at least one syllable to make it flow. 

Childhood years bought nothing but fears
Sweet dreams disappear
Princess Always strong she lives on her own
Since only she is sweet sixteen

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She knows (about) the dangers
Misused by crazy strangers beaten and misuse
In her world she can't choose. 
Which nights she'll be abused.

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life.

[Oldbutyet]

Another old lyric of mine maybe some of you can let me know if they flow well or if any changes need to be made or whatever else, also posted in the http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11878.msg114730#new  thanks all.


Princess Of The Street

She lives in the city she is so pretty
She makes her living on the street
She knows the game don't charge loose change
She the princess of the street

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She looks so grand her head held high
She drives her clients wild
She walks her patch like a cat walk princess
Makeup hides secrets

Childhood years bought nothing but fears
Sweet dreams disappear
Princess strong she lives on her own
Since only sweet sixteen

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She knows the dangers
Crazy strangers beaten and misuse
In her world she knows the falls
She used to been abuse

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

Some Suggestions: 

She looks so grand her head held high
She drives her clients wild
She walks her patch like a cat walk princess
Makeup hides secrets  -- I can't make this line fit the rest of the song with any melody I try. . . Seems to lack at least one syllable to make it flow. 

Childhood years bought nothing but fears
Sweet dreams disappear
Princess Always strong she lives on her own
Since only she is sweet sixteen

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life

She knows (about) the dangers
Misused by crazy strangers beaten and misuse
In her world she can't choose. 
Which nights she'll be abused.

Chorus
Hey there princess under a street light
Hey there princess hey babe tell me your life.

(Makeup hides secrets  -- I can't make this line fit the rest of the song with any melody I try. . . Seems to lack at least one syllable to make it flow)

(secrets) i had a choice of two words there "secrets" and "regrets"  i chose "secrets" but maybe make those two words into one "Makeup hides seegrets"  i know seegrets is not a word but thats what that line always read to me and on sounding i think it comes across better.

Thanks Verlon.

[Paulski]

Hi Pat

Good work here and great title!

The only nit I have is in the chorus - to me "street light" and "your life" don't have the emphasis on the same syllable so it didn't flow for me. Could be just me though. 

Looking forward to hearing it
Paul