[Bill Saunders]

Here is the NEW version of the song I posted originally 16th November:

 * Rewritten chorus melody completely to give it a LIFT!
 * Kept the crunchy rhythm guitar throughout to give a common thread
 * Drop the dodgy synth bits completely
 * Remixed to give it more OOMPH!

https://soundcloud.com/bill-saunders/it-pays-to-join-the-army-version-2

(The original version is here: https://soundcloud.com/bill-saunders/it-pays-to-join-the-army)

It pays to join the army

Young man walks quickly along emptying city centre streets

Head bent against the wind and rain, weary on his feet

Warm, bright inviting shop front, here’s a career for you

Come on in young man, don’t hesitate, what have you to lose?

Chorus 1 and 2

They say “It pays to join the army and be the best you can

Travel the world and learn new skills to be a better man”

Make lifelong friends, until a bitter end, and

“Make your family proud”


It’s warm in here, the coffee’s good and it’s a decent guy

Who explains it all, sounds so good, sets the young man’s mind alight

Qualifications, career progression and education

Come on in, whatever your faith or sexual orientation

Middle 8/break

If the army’s a hard sell, boy do they do it well

It’s all so fluffy and so friendly, it’s nigh impossible to tell

Why it’s the young man’s father’s nightmare,

“Please son, anything but that”



Last chorus

It pays to join the army, scream commercials on TV

But they never say who’s paying, and where it all might lead

Make lifelong friends, and pray there’s no bitter end, and

Make your family proud

[Wolfini]

Good chorus, I think this works nicely!

Bye Wolfi

[Skub]

Yo Bill.

Firstly,perhaps it's best to post up a link to the original version,so folk can make a valid comparison between old and new.

My take is..it's a dramatic improvement. Way more clarity and dynamics in the new version and you sound even more like a young Bowie.

It's all win. 

Quite often I've found that during the recording of a song,I'll throw everything at the track,then when it's finished,I'll snip away at this and that,until the thing is pruned to where it needs to be and half the stuff is gone! I'd save myself a shed load of time if I didn't put the stuff there in the first place. 

[Skub]

It's the time honoured conundrum of home studios/DAW.

The upside is,you can change anything.

The downside is,you can change anything. 

[Bill Saunders]

Thanks - I rarely tinker with a 'finished' song, because you can go on and on...normally best to stick with what you had when you went with your gut. However, there did seem to be a consensus re the chorus on the original so I went for it.

The Bowie comparison is flattering and appreciated. Someone of my vintage inevitably grew up with David's music, but I have never been consciously aware of any influence in my own music or vocal tone before now!

I'm also learning about production all the time and in this Version 2, for the first time I've side chained a compressor on the bass guitar track. The compressor is triggered by the kick drum, so that the bass automatically dips when the kick is hit, which allows the kick to be heard more clearly in the mix.

Onwards and upwards!

[shadowfax]

A good song and I particularly like the lead guitar..sounds great, for me, the power chord guitar became a bit monotonous going throughout the whole song, I think it should be rested somewhere for a short while..
however..good work my friend..

[pompeyjazz]

This was pretty good before Bill but I can see that you've put a lot of hard work into this and reaped the rewards. Agree with you that tinkering with a finished song is a slippery slope. I've done it myself. Trouble being when it's been reworked it starts moving in a different (sometimes unanticipated) direction. Just been messing with sidechain compression myself. Another huge learning curve begins  Nice work Bill

[MartynRich]

I only half remember the previous version but this sounds like a great improvement to me. The production is much more polished and the vocals sound top notch. Sometimes it pays to tinker just a little 

[IronKnee]

Hey there Bill......not a fan of the distorted electric beating out its' rhythm.....but the song, itself, is fabulous!
The verses leading into the chorus is very smooth and satisfying 
Good performances seal the deal.....
Good stuff!
                                          -Tom

[Bill Saunders]

Thanks again all, I have to laugh, that's two comments possibly against using the power chords throughout, and the main reason for my recording Version 2 was because a good number of posts on Version 1 commented that said power chords should run through the entire song! It's so subjective isn't it? Ha ha!

Seriously, I really appreciate the positive comments. Like many I am not overly confident about my voice so it's really nice to get compliments, especially from you guys who are producing some of the great music I have had the pleasure of hearing over the past few months.

[mickyplankton]

Hi Bill. I've listened to both songs and agree that version 2 is superior. It's a great platform for the guitar which sounds awesome. im also guilty of tinkering with my songs, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If you can think of enhancements after the initial mix then you should go for it. Good production can turn a decent song into a brilliant song.

[ScottLevi]

Hey Bill,

I was one of those who commented on the continuity of the verse to chorus.

I like his version a lot better, I think the consistency has brought the whole song together for me and whilst I could appreciate the light/shade of the previous version - I enjoy this listen a lot more.

All the best,
Scott.