[montydog]

Hi Alan

Very nice to hear sth different from you - way to push the envelope!
This has a nice wistful feel to it and the seagull sounds really fit.
Vocals a quality as usual.
TBH I found it a minute too long (I sound like a broken record on length don't I?)
and I would have liked a break from the lead vocal with another instrument taking a short solo just to keep things fresh. But hard to find any nit bigger than those tiny ones.

Nice work - great to hear you producing again
Paul

Thanks for listening Paul. I was trying to create a dreamlike mood which I didn't want to break by  introducing a break or a different instrument. The focus was on the story, the lyrics and the atmosphere. I'm not trying to write hits so I'll take as long as the song needs even if it's over 4 minutes :-)

[montydog]

Hey Alan I like this very much. Lyrics are very good and music is fine and in a new style what is very good.
Only the first part till 0.56 is worth to work on again. Music is cool but I think you have to redo the singing in some parts of the first minute. Sometimes it sounds like you not feeling comfortable.(only for me and only the first minute)
Very nice developing song.
Alexander

Great to hear from you and thanks for commenting on my song. I don't really get what you mean about the first minute and no-one else has noticed anything - weird. Anyhow, thanks again.

[montydog]

Hi Alan

I really liked this song and the way it develops. I think the synth sound was the defining part for me. The lyrics really do capture the feeling, and it takes me back to the lovely Cornish fishing villages of Mousehole and Sennen, though I dont normally feel melancholic there! I would have loader drums, but that's just my taste.

Really lovely song

James

Thank you, James. I'm pleased that you picked up that it's the synth sound that carries this song and matches the subject matter. Melancholic Cornish seaside villages is just the feel I was after. Try going in the winter when the sea mist is rolling in......

[montydog]

Alan,
Great lyrics and good melody.  I think I prefer it when the whole of the backing is there rather than the intro but that's probably me being conservative whilst you're pushing the boundaries. Did you write it like that or on a guitar?
 
Neil

Hi Neil,
Thanks for the positive feedback. I wrote it on the guitar like everything I do but it wasn't waorking so I messed about with garageband and fell upon this sound.

[montydog]

The lyrics are very evocative and are the highlight for me of a very good song.

I guess people either like the synths or not: I would vary it ( possibly drop it in the middle and leave it at the beginning and end) but that is very much down to personal taste. Overall, I agree with the feedback from others, this is really something special, well done.

Kevin

Thank you so much Kevin. Your comments made my day. I try so hard to write decent lyrics so it's gratifying when people "get" them. I'm delighted that you thought it was something really special - once I'd found that synth sound and combined it with what I already had, I thought that too. It's probably one of the 2 or 3 songs of the 70 or so I've posted on here that i'm most proud of.

[adamfarr]

Alan - very high standard of writing here - I particularly liked the internal rhymes and in the first verse especially your use of the sounds of the words seemed really successful.

The backing seemed really well chosen and arranged too. I was in two minds whether the relentlessness of the track was correct - up till 2.00 you can hear the build and after that some details but I thought it might ebb and flow (hoho) a bit more. Perhaps you might do something different with the drums which did sound a bit samey all through? Just a thought.

All in all a great listen and I really liked the juxtaposition of your vocal and the synths.