[25 sleepless minutes]

i tried to write a great song about the greatest feeling

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tear you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

Healing the wounds isn't that easy as I thought 
The feelings are an apple which was meant to rot
Song about feelings, not about love you should know
The bigger risk that you will take the further you'll go

No use in calling, saying "hello, it's me"
No use in tagging you on the photos with me

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tear you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

Treating each other in a right way isn't always right
He criticized the day but never seen the light
Song about feelings, not about love you should know
The bigger risk that you will take the further you'll go

No use in calling, saying "baby it was joke"
No use in wishing you a bone which you'll choke

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tears you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

[CaliaMoko]

This feels to me like an early draft of a lyric, but I think it's because English is not your first language. Am I right?

I have two questions for you.

1. I see you have just barely signed up as a member of the forum. What do you hope to gain from your membership here? I'm wondering if you're planning to stick around and participate fully in the activities (by reading and following the guidelines, for instance), or if you're primarily interested in polishing this particular lyric?

2. What type of feedback do you hope to get for this lyric? Are you mainly interested in how it's perceived artistically? Or are you looking for advice on how to improve the language usage (grammar, flow of wording, etc)? Or something else or a combination?

Then, regarding the lyric, I have one question right away. What feeling or idea are you trying to get across with the phrase "plastic heart"?

Sincerely,
Vicki

[lillypilly]

Yes Have to agree with Caliamoko

you have just put your toe in the door and want feedback immediately if you are going to hang around why not cut us all a break and read the rules

cheers

[Oldbutyet]

i tried to write a great song about the greatest feeling

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tear you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

Healing the wounds isn't that easy as I thought 
The feelings are an apple which was meant to rot
Song about feelings, not about love you should know
The bigger risk that you will take the further you'll go

No use in calling, saying "hello, it's me"
No use in tagging you on the photos with me

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tear you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

Treating each other in a right way isn't always right
He criticized the day but never seen the light
Song about feelings, not about love you should know
The bigger risk that you will take the further you'll go

No use in calling, saying "baby it was joke"
No use in wishing you a bone which you'll choke

To heal the pain of broken plastic heart
To stay (still) sane when feelings tears you apart
You'll drown your sadness in a cup of liquor
And all your madness will go away quicker 

I can see a really good lyric in what you have but you need to put more thoughts into how it reads, it read now like what Vicki said "an early draft of a lyric"

Dont throw it away work on it and if this is your first lyric then well done, now make it better.

Welcome.