Hi,
This grew on me as I listened although I do feel it would benefit from maybe a little more harmonic variation at times.
I liked the triplet feel that ended off your sections, reminded me of the Eva Peron line from don't dry for me Argentina.
I was initially a little deterred by the computerised feel to the instruments as others have mentioned but as hard twist said, don't let this put you off, use whatever tools you have at your disposal.
I think the timing could do with a little tidying up and you could use the quantise function in GarageBand to help you with this. The only thing I would say though is that being to rigid with this could make the instruments sound even more computerised if you don't make other alterations, such as the velocity changes already mentioned.
Definitely worth pursuing this one further though I would say.
Yodasdad