Folk WIP - Highly appreciate any input.

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caramacks

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« on: October 16, 2016, 09:49:02 PM »
I'm surrounded by fantastic musicians and I have over the last few years started learning guitar. My friends are always encouraging me to play for them or to do open mics but I'm extremely doubtful and anxious about the quality of what I write.

When I'm writing things I think they sound good, then once I've learnt them and played them over a bit I always feel they're too simple or repetitive or something. It's so hard to have an outsiders view on my own work.

I wondered if anybody could let me know how this song comes across. It's something I've been working on recently, playing may not be super clean but the structures and notes are there. Please let me know, I'm really quite desperate for the courage to play and sing but I can't convince myself to do so alone.

https://clyp.it/o1a1gwet

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2016, 12:08:37 AM »
I'm no guitar expert, so I can't say much about your playing. I listened to your recording, and I wonder if you have a separate melody that goes with it?

As far as getting feedback on your work, you've come to the right place! I strongly recommend reading through the guidelines (mostly the same for both WIP and Finished Works) and getting fully involved in the forums. This resource has been very helpful for me. I got active late last year--December 2015--and I've discovered a wonderful and supportive online community.

Welcome to the forums. I hope to see you around.

Vicki

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2016, 03:28:36 AM »
All I know about guitar work is whether I like it or not. . . and I liked this. 

As far as the music, one thing I've got a lot of experience at is adding lyrics/vocal treatments to existing instrumentals.  I flatter myself to think I've got a real good ear for what will (and will not) take a lyric. 

This work of yours is soooooooo close to being spectacular. . . but it is lacking any real way to structure the lyric/song to verse, chorus, and bridge. 

It is a wonderful musical idea, but not yet a song (in my opinion.) 

What I would suggest is that you forget worrying whether the idea is good. . . I'm absolutely sure it IS good.  Focus your attention on either writing some lyrics OR finding a lyrical collaborator, then fitting this excellent musical idea to the lyric in a way that creates drama and "fit" with the lyric. 

The individual components of musical ideas are all there. . . but need to be (again in my opinion) combined into a more structured format.  If I were to add a lyric to this. . . I'd cut and paste from parts of it. . . and would not leave the current sequence alone.  I'd use every element, because I think every element of it  is wonderful. . .
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

mickyplankton

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« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2016, 04:58:43 PM »
It's very easy to listen to. But I agree it's only half a song at the moment. It needs either vocals or another instrument to overlay over it. Keep with it.

IronKnee

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« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2016, 09:25:15 AM »
Well, I can tell you that I hear a melody...... like a balloon, floating high and bouncing between the wind of your steel guitar strings. It's in there....but, maybe a bit unsure of itself.
These kind of things are best to be discovered, and flushed out in the confines of your sanctum, be it alone or with a collaborator.
Good luck, man..........I like what I hear!
                                                                          -T
"I know the truth, by my struggle against it"
                                                          -IronKnee

thathairybloke

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« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2016, 10:41:54 PM »
Very nice indeed.

It put me in mind, somewhat, of Jose Gonzalez's tune, Heartbeats.

Let's have some lyrics please! I'd like to hear this at the next stage!

THB