Romance is Dead (So I'll Just Stay in Bed)

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Viva La Stereo

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« on: September 25, 2016, 12:15:03 AM »
Hello all. I'll get right to the point. There's some people I read about and/or watch that fill me with a kind of melancholy. Not an overtly sorrowful melancholy, but a kind of 'rainy day' feeling. Keats, Greta Garbo. Those two were on my mind, so I wrote those real short verses. I punctuated em with slightly longer 'semi-poems' that were similar conceptually and thematically, and tied them together with a chorus. I use rhyme quite frequently in this one, which makes a change. Lately I haven't been rhyming much (not on purpose, just happens).

https://soundcloud.com/vivalastereo/romance-is-dead

Keats died in Rome on his own
Died all alone in Rome
Oh bless his soul,
Oh bless his heart
I wish that I'd have known him

Yesterday gave a worrisome nod of the head
Toward the crucxifix that loomed above her bed
And weakly proclaimed that the Chinese economy
Would only bring her riches when she was dead

You said that he said that she said
That romance is dead
So I'll just stay in bed

Garbo died at home on her own
Died all alone at home
Oh bless her heart,
Oh bless her mind
I wish that I'd have known her

Tomorrow dressed like a cheap museum knight
So nobody could tell if he was black or white
So when he clamped shut his aluminium visor
The ladies on his street were none the wiser

You said that he said that she said
That romance is dead
So I'll just stay in bed (x2)

rightly

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« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2016, 10:57:18 AM »
works for me
I like your style with writing and performance.
this song does capture that rainy day feel.

I a long term fan of lou reed and neil young.
some kind of deep tone horn instrument would be fun here.

thanks for sharing!
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Paulski

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« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2016, 01:48:02 PM »
Certainly unique and innovative!
I like the lyrics - great job there :)
Not too keen on the melody line - can't say I'd remember it after a couple listens - but the dylanesk vibe makes it seem special anyway.
Paul

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2016, 03:45:00 PM »
Ending was kind of abrupt. ?  I definitely hear strong Dylan influence here. Words very interesting, maybe someday I'll want to cover this. Not this year, though. Already too many things in my queue.

I like the words. Like Paulski, I'd like to see some more work on the melody--maybe either a more definitely "Dylan-y" kind of chant/drone or else a more developed melody. I liked the plucked notes in the background. Can't decide if I would prefer them to be more in front?

Intriguing in a melancholy way.

Vicki

retrononomusic

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« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2016, 05:30:46 PM »
Hey, I like the Bob Dylan voice and I finally get used to the little "out of tune" that occurred once in a while. In fact, I think it gives a lot of personality to the song.

I feel you could get some confidence and push your voice a little harder.

Funny ending lol

Nono.

tina m

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« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2016, 07:22:48 PM »
probably the best sounding song youve posted here the way its produced I think  :)
it took me a few plays to get into it as the melody wasnt immediately obvious
the lyrics sounded quite morrisseyish & i could definitely imagine him singing that chorus
You said that he said that she said
That romance is dead
So I'll just stay in bed

I like that   its like its a rumour going round
I loved the little guiatr parts & that mellotron thing playing the long notes?
I think the chorus could do with a stronger melody tho & if you could write one the song would be fabulous
Tell me Im wonderful & I ll be nice to you :)

Skub

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« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2016, 07:38:59 PM »
Sometimes I feel my review comments are like a broken record,but this one of the best songs the Velvet Underground never did.

I love the passion and the eloquent wordiness of your songs,Viva.

Always an offbeat pleasure.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2016, 07:11:11 AM »
Love this. It's got a desperate feel to it reflected both in the lyrics in the music. I'm getting some heavy Lou Reed vibes here which is great in my book  :)

Viva La Stereo

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« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2016, 10:25:38 PM »
probably the best sounding song youve posted here the way its produced I think  :)
it took me a few plays to get into it as the melody wasnt immediately obvious
the lyrics sounded quite morrisseyish & i could definitely imagine him singing that chorus
You said that he said that she said
That romance is dead
So I'll just stay in bed

I like that   its like its a rumour going round
I loved the little guiatr parts & that mellotron thing playing the long notes?
I think the chorus could do with a stronger melody tho & if you could write one the song would be fabulous

I'm glad you noticed that Tinam, I took a lot more time over the production side of things this time. Ahh yes that mellotron thing is just me messing about with synthesizers. I'd like to have real strings and such, but I don't fancy bankrupting myself, so I settle with weird synths haha.


Sometimes I feel my review comments are like a broken record,but this one of the best songs the Velvet Underground never did.

I love the passion and the eloquent wordiness of your songs,Viva.

Always an offbeat pleasure.

Wow, thats an amazing compliment. Thanks, I'm glad that you liked it.
works for me
I like your style with writing and performance.
this song does capture that rainy day feel.

I a long term fan of lou reed and neil young.
some kind of deep tone horn instrument would be fun here.

thanks for sharing!

Thanks Rightly! I definitely get what you mean, I could use a few lower octave horns melding in with it at some places.

Love this. It's got a desperate feel to it reflected both in the lyrics in the music. I'm getting some heavy Lou Reed vibes here which is great in my book  :)

Thanks pompeyjazz, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Hey, I like the Bob Dylan voice and I finally get used to the little "out of tune" that occurred once in a while. In fact, I think it gives a lot of personality to the song.

I feel you could get some confidence and push your voice a little harder.

Funny ending lol

Nono.

Cheers RNM. Yeah, I was fairly under the influence during the recording of that one. I approach music as a kind of loose gun. If theres a perfect take, or one with a few mistakes but more soul, I'll always go for the latter, as pretentious as that sounds haha!



Thanks for all the feedback guys, I'm currently out and only managed to find a few mins to get on the internet here so I havent responded to you all but I really appreciate you taking the time. Cheers!

Movin Flavour

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« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2016, 09:15:30 PM »
Nice song has echoes of Lou Reed and Dylan for me.

Like the " he said, she said...." Lyrics.

Sandeep